A/B/O, Non-Idols, Past Mpreg // Namjikook Au | Pt


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a/b/o, non-idols, past mpreg //

namjikook au | pt. 3 🔞

jk, jm and nj have to come to terms with their feelings for each other.

link to pt. 2:
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jk’s heat passes and suddenly the apartment is too quiet. the air too heavy, too tense.

they all take turns taking showers and under the shower spray, jk feels himself spiralling down.

he knew this would be a bad idea.

he should’ve fucking locked himself in his room without his phone. should’ve locked it in a safe.

but wouldn’t his instincts have drifted to nj and jm anyway? it all feels so inevitable. jk feels so weak, so betrayed by his own instinctual want even after the heat has passed.

and the worst of it is that it’s starting to feel more than that.

jk hasn’t tried dating in so long. the possibility of ever loving someone else after nj left, hasn’t even occurred to him in all this time.

and just.

letting jm in and letting nj back in. letting them see him at his most vulnerable. letting them care for him. it’s more than just confusing his omega.

it’s taken root somewhere deep inside his chest, where he’s tender and defenseless.

the overwhelmed look on jm’s eye as he traced gentle fingers on jk’s face. nj’s reverent expression when he was buried deep inside jk.

jk can scrub himself clean of their scents, but he can’t shake the memory off.

and truth be told, he doesn’t want to.

but the rational side of his brain is begging him to watch out for himself. what can he expect from nj and jm? nj and jm who have enough problems in their own relationship.

jk can’t get in the middle of that. he shouldn’t.

after his shower, jk walks out in a clean shirt and sweatpants and hears the low rumble of the washing machine. he frowns and walks back into his room.

nj and jm, also showered and in a clean change of clothes, are putting fresh sheets on the bed.

“what are you doing?” he asks. something in his stomach, a reminder of his heat, is turning and thrashing at the sight of them fixing his nest.

nj looks up. “just changing the sheets,” he says.

“i put everything in the washing machine. ah, sorry i didn’t ask if you still do your laundry the way you used to.”

“i do,” jk mutters.

nj’s mouth curls into a little smile at that.

jk closes his fist. “b-but you didn’t have to. you already did enough, this is really not, ah.”

jk looks down, feeling his face heat up. from his periphery he can see jm straighten up from where he was ducking to tuck the sheet under the mattress.

“jk,” he says softly. “we don’t want you to feel embarrassed or self-conscious. it was your heat and we’re glad we could, ah.”

“spend it with you,” nj finishes.

jk looks up at them. still talking like they’re a single unit who were just doing a favor to jk. he can’t not feel self-conscious.

“thanks,” he says. “for everything you’ve done. i-i appreciate it but this is more than enough.”

nj and jm look at him then they look at each other. it drives jk mad.

“listen,” he tries again. “i have to pick binna up. and i have to—ah. i’m not on birth control or anything so i have to go and get the fucking pill and then i want to come back and be alone with my daughter.”

nj and jm don’t move.

“um, okay,” nj starts. “we were just hoping we could talk about this. when do you think it would be a good time?”

“why the fuck do you keep speaking for each other?” jk snaps. then closes his eyes and takes a deep breath.

“sorry. i- i’m not feeling myself yet.”

jm takes a step closer to him. “what can we do?”

“you can leave,” he says immediately. “i’ll text you or something and—”

“no,” nj says.

jk gapes and jm turns to look at nj. nj blushes and wets his lip.

“i mean, sorry, yes, we will leave. b-but you can’t just shut us out and ask us to wait for you in the dark,” he says. i know it was your heat and how much that sucks for you and how vulnerable it makes you feel. but we— /i/ was also there, jk.”
“and it was overwhelming for me too. and i f-feel things and i want to talk about it.”

jk swallows. “you will go home right now and you will talk about it with each other. you will talk about what it means for your relationship or whatever. i don’t need to be there.”

“you think we haven’t had that conversation already?” nj says, walking around the bed to stand next to jm. “before we even decided to offer our help. this is not just about mine and jm’s relationship, jk.”
jk looks at the two of them, their faces twisted in mirror expressions of what? anguish? disappointment?

jk sighs. and he feels stupid but he can’t help giving in. doesn’t have the energy to fight his own instincts anymore.

“okay,” he says, voice trembling. “just not right now. please.”

jm nods. “yes, we understand. we’ll leave,” he says, turning to nj.

nj doesn’t stir, just continues looking at jk.

“hyung,” jk pleads softly.

nj releases a little huff of breath and nods. “yeah, okay.”

so they gather their things and leave and it’s tense right before they walk out the door.

they all hover at the doorway awkwardly until jk clears his throat.

“maybe we can have dinner sometime this week,” he says quietly.

“yes,” nj says quickly. “wednesday? there’s no ballet on wednesday.”

jk bites the inside of his cheek and nods. “sure.”

“i’ll text you. we can pick you up from work,” jm says.

“can you come pick me up here?” he asks quietly. “um, i think i would like to come change and clean up and shit.”

jm and nj both smile at that. “yes,” they say at the same time and that doesn’t annoy jk.

jk nods, thanks them again and then jm is pushing nj out and into the elevator and they’re gone.

jk’s omega growls in protest at being parted but jk ignores it. makes himself go back inside where the washing machine is already beeping.

he sighs and walks over to move his clean sheets over to the dryer.

where they used to smell of him and jm and nj, now they only smell of his neutral fabric softener.

later, he goes over to yg and hs’s and he cries again at being reunited with binna.

hs pets his head and once jk stands up, binna cradled in his arms, his nose twitches.

“you smell like—”

“please don’t,” jk says.

hs gives him a long look. “well, okay, then. whenever you want to talk about i’ll be here.”

jk hums and lets binna drag him into the kitchen where she was just helping yg make japchae.


on wednesday, jk is over at th’s, borrowing clothes again.

binna is kneeling on the floor next to the sleeping pup’s crib, quietly singing one of the songs jk sometimes sings to her for bedtime.

“am i making a total fool of myself?” jk asks, looking at the mirror.

he’s putting on a pair of pretty gem earrings from th’s dresser.

“of course not,” th says, sitting up on the bed. “i get that you want to protect yourself and binna but, c’mon, jk. they /offered/ to spend your heat with you.”

“lots of people do that. it’s a biological need and crap.”

th purses his mouth. “did it feel like a biological when you were getting—”


binna stops singing and looks up at jk with a frown on her face. “why?”

“n-no. not you, darling. keep singing to the pup,” he says.

th laughs, then turns to jk again. “jk, when’s the last time you’ve heard of anyone spending his heat with an alpha and another omega they have history with without getting feelings mixed in?”
jk sighs. “okay but, feelings should not be mixing in. it’s just… a bad idea. it’s all too fucking complicated as it is.”
“so what? you three are gonna raise binna and forever ignore that you want each other? what happens when jm’s heat hits again and his omega wants you there too? nj’s rut?”

jk bites his lip and looks back at th, shoulders slumping. “i don’t know.”

th gets off the bed and walks over to him, getting a dainty necklace from the dresser and putting it around jk’s neck. “that’s why you’re having dinner tonight,” he says, softly.
“and you look hot because they’re taking you out to a nice restaurant and they’re also making an effort for you. don’t think too hard about it. just let it flow.”

jk releases his lower lip from his teeth. “b-but binna and—”

“jk-ah,” th cuts in. “let it flow. trust your instincts, they’ll never let binna get hurt. okay?”

jk hesitates, looks at binna, then back at th. “i guess.”


jm and nj pick him up a little after eight. they come up to th’s apartment and say hi to binna and binna is sleepy enough to politely wave at them. nj brings her a storybook about whales and th promises to read it to her before bed.
jk feels really awkward and very short of words. they both really did make an effort and all jk can do is stand there and blush.

nj is wearing a long, very expensive-looking double breasted jacket and jm is wearing a very pretty blouse under tweed. they look gorgeous.

and they smell so good, too. jk fears he might start slicking up.

jk barely says any word until he’s in the backseat of their car, trying hard to not feel like a child or a third wheel.

“um, so where are we going?” he asks leaning in.

nj turns back and smiles at him. “remember eric?”

jk nods.

“he has a restaurant now. just opened up a few weeks ago, i haven’t been able to go. should be good, though.”

“are you gonna eat the seafood?” jm asks, teasing, good naturedly. jk fidgets in his seat.

“i don’t have to order seafood,” nj says.

“it’s a seafood restaurant, nj,” jm says giggling.

“i’m sure they have other things!”

jm laughs again and jk sighs, sitting back on the seat and looking out the window.

jm and nj don’t talk after that and the silence feels tense.

nj and jm keep sharing these pointed glances and it makes jk want to jump out of the moving car.

when they get to the restaurant, jk is quick to get out, needing to breath in some fresh air, his head already dizzy with their scents.

“are you okay?” nj asks, getting out of the passenger seat while jm hands the keys over to the valet. he places a large hand on jk’s back.

jk nods his head, avoiding nj’s gaze.

nj hums. “you look really nice,” he says softly into jk’s hair. “very pretty.”

jk looks at him then. he swallows.

“thanks,” he breathes. “you look very handsome too.”

nj smiles, dimpled and warm, and ducks his head. jk blushes.

“are you guys flirting without me?” jm asks, catching up to them, tucking a strand of hair behind his ear.

jk is about to apologize but nj speaks. he’s still smiling. “only a little.”

jm smirks. it all makes jk’s heart beat faster.

“let’s go inside.”

once at their table, jm and nj fuss with the menu and the wine selection and jk can feel himself start to sweat. wants to tell them to just spit it out. why did they bring him here?

jk clears his throat. “i’m fine with anything you want to order,” he says. “can we just, please—”

“nj-ah,” someone calls then. jk looks over. it’s eric, nj’s old family friend, looking as dashing and expensive as ever.

nj quickly gets up to shake eric’s hand. jk sighs and slumps down on his chair.

“hey man,” nj is saying.

congratulating him on the restaurant. apologizing for not making it sooner. asking about his mother.

all the charm only nj can make seem so natural, so effortless.

jk watches him and he looks so much like the person jk first fell in love with in a high school hallway all those years ago.

the natural born, gracious class president, flashing his politician smile.

jk swallows. has to look away. when he does, he catches jm looking at him.

jm offers him a small, knowing smille but doesn’t call him out, just turns to look at eric when he addresses him.

“jm-ie,” he’s saying. “it’s been a bit, isn’t it? i heard you guys got engaged.”

nj’s smile falters at that. only for a second, though.

“yeah, but, you know, we’re just taking it slow,” he says. “no rush, right?” he turns to look at jm and jm just smiles.

eric laughs. “right, right. that’s good. you guys are young,” he says and then his eyes catch on jk. they go wide.

“jk? jk-ie?”

jk swallows. “hi, eric.”

eric laughs again. “shit, i haven’t seen you since— doesn’t matter. you look good,” he says, his eyes raking over jk. jk thinks he might sense interest in his dark, overbearing scent. “like, so good, man.” he laughs again.

jk blinks at him. “thanks?”

“okay,” nj says, voice darker. and jk definitely picks out the spike in nj’s scent.

“oh my god,” jm mutters, hiding a quick surprised laugh behind his hand.

eric turns to look at nj, then at jm, then at jk. something slotting together in his brain. “oh,” he says.

he gives another nervous laugh. “okay, well, i guess i’ll leave you to your dinner, then,” he says. “i hope you enjoy everything. anything at all that you need, just ask junnie over there,” he says, quickly snapping his fingers and a waiter comes running.
“thanks,” nj says, no longer smiling.

eric leaves then, and the waiter takes their order and as soon as he leaves too, jm turns to nj. a grin on his face.

“you are so embarrassing sometimes,” he says. “he was just being nice.”

“he was /not/ just being nice,” nj says.

“he always had a thing for jk.”

“what?” jk asks, choking on his glass of water. he thinks back of every interaction he ever had with eric. he always was really nice. maybe too nice.

“i swear,” nj says. “he told me. before we started going out.”

“he told you?” jm asks, eyes squinting.

nj nods.

“what did he say?” jk asks, interested now.

“i-i am not going to repeat the things he said,” nj says, going red. “we were kids, it was just—”

“if you say alpha talk i will puke,” jm says.

jk can’t fight the smirk. “did you say those things too? about me?”

nj smiles, still red. “not then,” he says. “i never said the kind of things he said, really. but back then i didn’t talk about you at all.”

jk watches him, his smile dropping. “oh.”

nj chokes out a little laugh. “no, i mean. i liked you too much and i didn’t know how to speak about it. it made me really nervous, for some reason. like i said, i was just a kid.”

“i remember,” jk says quietly, looking down. thinking about how nervous nj was when they started hanging out. as friends at first.

jk thought it was so cute. it stings to think about it now. he shakes it off and clears his throat once the silence starts to drag on.

“so, you guys wanted to talk?” he asks. “about your feelings?”

jm laughs. “yeah, shit, is the wine almost here, you think?”

and as if in cue, the waiter shows up with their bottle of wine, serving three glasses.

“maybe take it easy with that,” nj mutters glancing at jm when he immediately picks up his glass and sips from it.

“yeah, i know, i know,” he says. then turns to jk. “so, feelings.”

jk swallows. “feelings.”

they stare at each other for a minute, then jm laughs a little nervously and turns to nj.

“what? you want me to start?”

jm bites his lip and shrugs.

jk huffs. “can you just, please say anything. i’m getting anxious.”

“no, i’m sorry,” nj says, quickly turning to him.

“just, ah— okay,” he clears his throat. “i will speak for myself,” he says, carefully, taking a quick glance at jm. jm nods. “so, last weekend was, ah. good f-for me.” he clears his throat again.
“i know you’re not really fond of your heats and i sincerely hope i was able to make it at least a little bit better than what it could’ve been. that was the point of us going over there. b-but evidently we— i also /wanted/ to be there. for you. with you. and with jm.”
nj looks down where he’s folding and unfolding his napkin. “the things we did— i wanted to do them. heat or otherwise.”

jk bites his lip. looks at nj, at his hand fiddling with the napkin.

“those are your feelings, then? you wanted you and your boyfriend to take turns fucking me?”

nj looks up and winces. “don’t be crass.”

“but that’s what you’re saying,” jk says. he sighs. “and listen, i’m not condemning you for it. i wanted it too, heat or otherwise.”

he glances at jm. who nods. “heat or otherwise,” he says softly.

“okay,” jk says. “so we’re on the same page about that. good, now hear me out,” he says, laying his palms flat on the table, grounding himself.

“it’s bad. a terrible idea. we have a child. you two are engaged. your mother is insane,” he says. “a casual sex situation will just complicate literally all of those things.”

“who’s saying anything about casual sex?” jm asks, frowning.

k stills. looks at jm, then at nj. he sits back. “what are we talking about here, then?”

jm huffs. “we like you, goddammit!”

“remember, speak for your yourself,” nj mutters.

“oh, so you don’t like him?”

“no- i-i do! just, we agreed that—”

jm huffs. “jk-ah, i like you. and it’s more than just sex for me.”

jk looks at them, his mind racing. words deserting him.

“i like you too,” nj says quietly. “i don’t know if it ever went away.”

jm looks down. jk wets his lip. “what about you two?” he hears himself ask.

“you still have feelings for each other? like, you still /love/ each other, right?”

“of course,” jm snaps. “it’s not an either or situation. we can do both. we’ve talked about it and we want both.”

jk swallows. looks at them. they’re being dead serious. honest.

k doesn’t know what to do with them he rubs circle at his temple.

“that doesn’t change the fact that we have a child, you two are engaged and your mother is insane,” he says pointing his finger at nj at the last part.

nj sighs. “i know,” he says.

“but we can keep it separate. we all care about binna first and foremost and i think we can all agree that we won’t let our relationship to get in the way. we simply keep it separate,” he says. “and it’s not my mother’s business so you don’t have to worry about her.”
jm and jk snort at the same time.

nj huffs. “fine, just let /me/ deal with my mother,” he says. “and about the engagement, ah, i meant it earlier. we’re taking it slow. and i want to take our relationship with you slow too.”

“so you, what? want to take me out on dates?”

nj and jm look at each other. jk closes his fist.

“yes,” jm says softly. “basically.”

jk heaves, lets his eyes drift up. “i can’t believe i’m in this situation right now. literally never in my wildest dreams did i imagine.”

“you don’t want to be in this situation?” jm asks, genuine curiosity in his lilt. “you haven’t said how you feel.”

jk looks back at them. at beautiful jm. at his nj. he sighs. “i like you, obviously,” he tells jm.

“fuck, i was so ready to risk it all for you before you got engaged,” he says. “i guess it must tell me something that you were getting engaged to the only person i ever loved,” he mutters, glancing at nj.
“i don’t know if it ever really went away for me either,” he says even quieter.

nj smiles at that and jm looks like he’s about to cry but jk thinks it’s a good thing.

“i still don’t think it can work, though,” he says. “there’s too much at stake.”

“i know you say you care about binna first and foremost, but if this thing goes to shit and you leave — i’m the one who will have to explain to her why. and i-i don’t want to. i don’t want her to get hurt. i don’t want her to lose you.”
“she won’t,” nj and jm say at the same time.

jk shakes his head. “how can i know that? things between us two already went so wrong we stopped talking for five years,” he says. “who’s to say it won’t happen again?”

“we are both adults now,” nj says.

“and i’m here, aren’t i? telling you how i feel. what i want. i never did that before.”

“we just want to try it out,” jm says quietly, fiddling with his earring and looking down. “it feels like something too big, too meaningful to let go of.”

jk bites his lip, his throat going tight. “it does feel too big,” he says. “m-my omega wants you. the two of you.”

“mine too,” jm says.

nj nods. “me too,” he says. “say we can try, jk. we’ll take it slow. we won’t jump into bed, okay? we can take you out.”

jk snorts. “how does that even work? we go on dates, all three of us? and then you two go back home, to your nest and i go home alone?”

nj and jm don’t say anything. jk sighs.

“can i just think about it? i don’t want to make you wait but i can’t just dive into this.”

jm nods. “i think we all have shit to think about.”

“can we still hang out with binna? like, in the meantime?” nj asks.

jk nods. “yeah. but it doesn’t come up then. even if i say i want to try this, it can’t come up when we’re with binna. we keep it separate, like you said.”

“yeah, yes. of course,” nj hurries to say.

“and she finds out you’re her father on my terms.”

nj nods. “okay.”

jk sighs. “okay. so we think about it.”

“we think about it,” jm says.

so they have dinner. they chat easily, lightly.

jk is still a little cautious, still feels a little like a third wheel. but he supposes he gets it. they’ve been dating for a while. jk just came into their lives. back into nj’s life?

so he pushes aside for now.

they said they wanted to try which means they’re open for further discussion? who knows. jk is out of his depth here. but he still has time to think about it.

so they eat dinner.

and then they drive jk home and walk him up to his door and say goodnight and it sort of does feel like the end of a date. a really weird one, but a date.
he sighs and instead of unlocking his door, he knocks on th’s, hoping at least sj is still awake, so he can get binna and cuddle her to sleep.
that night, in bed jk tries not to. tries to leave it for later, when he’s head isn’t as clouded, but he can’t help falling asleep to thoughts of nj’s dimples. his hand on jk’s back. jm’s heart shaped lips, the sound of his laughter.
jk thinks about how they haven’t kissed yet. how much he still wants to.

and he thinks of being surrounded by them. being kept safe in their arms. and jk wants it. against all reason, he fucking wants it. and it’s been so long since he’s wanted something for himself.

so what else is there to do? fight it? ignore it until it goes away? just watch nj and jm be a perfect couple for the rest of his life?

or just give in? give in, give in, give in, something begs and thrashes inside his chest as he finally gives in to sleep.

(cw // short breastfeeding scene, drinking, and some talk about past alcohol abuse which is signaled by a ‼️)
jk doesn’t stop thinking about jm and nj.

and it’s fine, isn’t it? he said he’d think about it.

but he doesn’t feel any closer to reaching a decision.

he knows what he wants. he just doesn’t know how to ask for it.

or not ask for it, because it’s being offered. but how to /take/ it.

so he tries to ignore it for the next few days.

he continues talking to jm and nj on a regular basis. they just avoid talking about /it/. and it’s nice of them, he supposes, that they’re not pressuring him.

but maybe jk wishes they would push. push until there was nothing else for jk to do but give in. but that’s not the mature thing to do, he knows.

jm and nj laid out their feelings and their intentions, the least jk can do is do the same.

he thinks he might finally get the chance two weeks after their dinner. he’s picking binna up from ballet and jm just asks him out.

“really we’re just going to this party nj was invited to and none of us want to go so we’re just making an appearance. half an hour tops,” jm says.

“then we’re going out for drinks.”

jk swallows. “just the two of you?”

“well, and you,” jm says. “if you wanted.”

“is it like, um.”

“it doesn’t have to be anything you’re not ready for,” jm rushes to say. “just drinks.”

“just drinks,” he repeats.

jm nods. “you seem stressed lately. about work?”

“ah, yeah. it’s been rough actually.”

“oh, jk-ah,” jm lilts, his voice dipping into sympathy. “you should let go a bit. come out, have fun.”

jk looks at him. jm is smiling brightly, prettily at him. jk is done for.

“yeah, okay.”

jm smiles brighter. jk blushes.

“i’ll just take binna home and see if th can watch her. i feel bad just dropping her off with him all the time.”

“you barely even do it, jk-ah. and he’s always happy to spend time with her.”

jk bites his lip. “right.”

“baby, c’mon, it’ll be fine!” as soon as he says it and realizes what he called jk, he blushes. “oh. i—”

jk blushes too. “okay,” he rushes to say. “it’s okay. i’ll talk to th. you’ll pick me up?”

jm nods, face still pink. “y-yeah.”

they look at each other, flustered, for another minute, then jk laughs a little. “okay, i’ll see you.”

jm laughs too, flustered, pink and then sends him and binna on their way.


“it’s fine,” th says. “it’s not like i have anywhere to be.”

he is breastfeeding his pup. sj is sitting on the floor folding laundry. binna watches him and tries to imitate what he’s doing with one of the baby’s onesies.

“mm, you should enjoy yourself, jk-ah,” sj says. “you’re young, you’re single, you can date. it’s cool.”

“i haven’t dated in a while,” jk confesses.

“all the more reason to do it,” th says.

jk looks at binna. “binna?”


“are you okay with staying here for the night?”

“yeah,” she says not looking up from the onesie she’s trying to fold. “you can go, appa.” she waves a dismissing hand at him.

jk gapes. “excuse me?”

th laughs. “it’s just because hyung will let her have more than one cookie before bedtime.”

“hey!” sj yelps. “don’t rat us out.”

th shrugs. or tries to without disturbing the pup.

jk sighs. “okay, then,” he says. “but no more than two cookies,” he tells sj.

sj doesn’t look at him, just waves a hand in imitation to binna.

jk laughs.


jm and nj pick him up later and they are still not naming it, but it feels like a date.

and it’s odd, because it’s definitely not like any date jk has ever been on, but there is still something insistently familiar about it.

it’s nj after all.

and jm who feels like a natural addition.

they still fumble a little, climbing out of the car and walking inside side by side. jk knows nj likes to slip an arm around his partner’s back when he walks, he used to do it with jk and he’s noticed him doing it with jm a few times.

all those times, though, nj caught himself doing it and immediately dropped his arm. for jk’s sake, he supposes. jk just found it annoying.

now he walks with jm and jk on each side of him and jk can see his hands almost twitching to reach out as they walk into the party.

it’s someone’s birthday, jk has learned on the way over.

someone nj sometimes works with. not exactly a friend, he says.

nj introduces them to the guy as just jm and jk. and yet—

“jm? the boyfriend, right?” the guy asks.

jm plasters a smile on and nods.

“that’s nice. nj has told me about you,” he says politely. then he looks expectantly at jk. “and you came with them?”

“oh, yes,” nj fumbles to say. “jk’s, uh, my. um.”

“ex-boyfriend, actually,” jk supplies.

the guy lifts an eyebrow. looks at them, then laughs. “okay, cool. that’s great. that’s really great. if my boyfriend was ever in a room with my ex he would bite his head off. but, y’know, alphas.”

jm purses his mouth. “or maybe it’s just a your boyfriend thing.”

the guy doesn’t get to answer because he is dragged away almost immediately after, leaving the three of them alone.

“anyway, where’s the bar?” jm asks, scanning the room.

“you don’t have to introduce yourself like that,” nj tells jk.

“it’s true, though,” jk says, wetting his lip.

“well, yeah, but you’re other things, too.”

“like what? you really want me going around saying i’m the father of your kid so your mother catches wind of it?”

nj winces. “well, no. not yet. but—”

“over there,” jm says, pointing at the bar. “let’s go,” he says, dragging them over.

they order drinks and then nj introduces them to more people and each time, it’s awkward. jk being there with jm and nj a concept no one can grasp, apparently.

jk is starting to regret coming and regret the whole trying thing. then—

“he’s our date, actually,” jm pipes in, around the sixth time nj has to introduce them, after he’s had a few drinks. “we’re trying to date him.”

the couple they’re being introduced to just stare in calculating silence for a minute then laugh. jm heaves.

“nj, can we go now?”

nj smiles politely at the women and excuses them, as jm starts walking towards the door. nj and jk follow.

they find jm outside crouched on the sidewalk, head between his knees.

“jm? darling?” nj asks, worried, kneeling down. jk hovers over them, not knowing what to do.

jm lifts his head. “sorry,” he says. “i got overwhelmed.” he looks up at jk. “are you okay?”

“me?” jk gapes.

jm nods. “i’m really sorry, jk-ah. we didn’t think this part through.”

“which part?”

jm shrugs. “the part where other people exist and are nosy as shit.”

nj swallows. “i’m sorry too,” he says.

jk sighs and kneels down, next to them. “it’s fine. i guess i just don’t want to cause you problems.”

“you’re not,” nj and jm say at the same time.

“i don’t really mind introducing you as our date, if you’re okay with that,” nj says. “it’s only that—”

“your mother,” jm and and jk say at the same time.

nj winces. “i promise i’ll talk to her, i’ll—”

“yeah, yeah,” jm says, and stands up, ever so gracefully. “can we go somewhere else?”

nj nods and gets up too, then extends his hand for jk to take. jk takes it.

they go to a different bar, in a whole different neighborhood and once they’re drinking at a table in a nondescript, quieter bar, they start relaxing.

“anyway, your rich friends are all assholes,” jm says, leaning back on his chair with a drink in his hand.

“aish, they’re not my friends,” nj says. “you are my friends, they are work.”

jm raises an eyebrow. “friends are we?”

nj blushes. “not you two in particular i mean you guys like, you know, yg and hs—”

“we’re not friends?” jk asks. and he’s some drinks in, feeling warm and hazy and finally comfortable enough with the whole situation.

nj’s blushes harder. he wets his lip. “i-i mean, i hope we are i-in friendly terms but i also hope that we, um.” he huffs.

“is this a trick question?”

jk smiles just as jm laughs.

“i’m just teasing,” jk mutters.

that makes nj smile too. “right,” he says and looks down. “i know we shouldn’t but it’d be nice to sort of skip this part.”

jm hums. “i like the awkward little getting to know each other bit. i think it’s sweet.”

“we already know each other, though, it’s just an awkward bit,” nj says.

“we don’t know /everything/ about each other,” jm says. “jk-ah, what’s your favorite color?”

“i know that,” nj says.

“aish, don’t brag,” jm says.

jk smiles. “i like purple.”

“that’s cute,” jm says. “mine’s coral.”

nj smiles, lopsided, single dimple popping out. “just say orange.”

jm gapes. “it’s not just orange! it’s a specific shade of—”

“isn’t your favorite color like indigo or some shit?” jk says. and nj chokes on a laugh, drink spluttering, as jm bursts into laughter.

“yes, god, he’s so annoying,” jm says after he catches his breath.

“you should hear him on the phone talking about color theory and fucking shit. i can’t believe you of all people will shaming me for this.”

“i’m not shaming you,” nj says. “i just think you’re cute.”

“god,” jm scoffs, rolling his eyes. he’s blushing, though.

jk is still smiling but he has to look down as to not feel like he’s intruding.

it’s short lived. jm is soon slipping a hand and gently curling it around jk’s knee. jk swallows.

“jk-ah, tell us something none of us know about you,” he asks softly.

“ah,” jk says, throat dry. he looks up at nj, who’s watching him expectantly.

and jk struggles to come up with something for a whole minute, because is there really anything nj wouldn’t know?

is there anything in his life that he didn’t build around nj, around the aftermath of him? anything about the last five years just sounds pathetic in his head.

“it’s okay, you don’t have to,” nj says, gentle.

“no, it’s not— i just don’t,” he starts, then sighs. “um, i got really into miniature building for a while when i was pregnant and binna was a baby. my therapist said it would be nice if i got a hobby i could do at home, without, you know lifting or punching things.
to help with the boredom and with like my patience and shit.”

jk looks up and finds both nj and jm smiling at him. he blushes. “i stopped once binna was old enough and kept wanting to play with the sets. i was so scared she would choke on something.”

“you can do it again when she’s old enough,” nj prompts. “you can teach her, that’d be cute.”

jk nods. “yeah, i might.”

“see? it’s nice,” jm says, resting his head on jk’s shoulder. he’s drunk. “getting to know each other.”

jk smiles. he’s also drunk. “wanna know something else i never told either of you?”

jm lifts his head and they both nod.

“that painting,” he starts. “of the little fat child you still have in your living room. i hate it.”

jm leans back into him with the force of the laugh that bursts out of him. nj doesn’t budge. just looks at jk, a smile hesitantly tugging at his mouth.

“i told you i liked it because you were so excited about it,” jk goes on.

“but i hated it. hated having to look at it everyday so much. i was actually relieved it’s the one thing you took when you left.”

“it’s the first painting i bought with my own money.”

“i know. so i told you i liked it.”

jm hums. “well, i hate it too,” he says. “i tell him constantly.”

“yes,” nj says. “you do.” he’s still looking at jk. “did you like /any /of my paintings?”

jk winces. “well.”

jm laughs again. nj is quiet for a moment.

then a smile spreads across his face. a pleased, awed one, like the ones he reserves for binna when she does something he’s not expecting or the ones he reserved for jk when they were getting to know each other and falling in love the first time.
“thanks for telling me,” he murmurs, still smiling. “and no, i’m still not getting rid of it,” he adds, glancing at jm, before waving at the waiter to order more drinks.

they drink and talk more after that. and jk feels looser and warmer and warmer and looser as they go.

it all feels easier.

jm never removes his hand from his knee, and he thinks nj might be leaning in closer to them

jm is telling them about some guy he dated in college that thought jm was too old to have a favorite color and then somehow the conversation shifts to jk.

“have you really not dated? since, y’know.” jm asks, resting his chin on his hand. he handles being drunk better than jk. and better than nj. his words don’t slur together. it’s a little annoying but it’s also really attractive somehow. jk’s drunk brain is tripping.
“i have gone on a few dates,” he says. “nothing serious.”

“so you haven’t, um.”

“ignore him he’s just being a pervert,” jm says.

“hey,” nj whines.

“no, i want to know why you want to know so bad,” jk says.

jm turns to look at him too and nj swallows. “um, well, just curiosity,” he says. a pause. “and yeah, whatever, i think it’d be hot. i am pervert.”

jk can’t help the smirk. he always liked it when nj got drunk enough for this particular brand of horny honesty.

it always got jk hot. it still does. he wets his lip. “are we still not calling this date?” he asks.

jm smiles. his hand finally gets bolder, sliding a little up his thigh.

he leans so much closer into jk’s space. “do you want to call it a date?” he purrs.

jk takes a glance at jm, then looks at nj. he’s looking hungrily at them.

“i don’t think it matters,” jk says. “it feels like one.”

“it does,” nj confirms.

jm hums.

jk smiles again. “i haven’t,” he says.

“haven’t what?”

“slept with anyone else,” he clarifies. “it’s only been you two.”


jk hums. “the timing hasn’t been right, i guess.”

nj’s scent thickens and they get a few looks.

“nj, please, they’ll kick us out,” jm rasps out, but jk can also sense arousal in his scent, thick and dark. jk swallows.

they don’t get kicked out.

but it’s not long before they decide to leave the bar and walk the few blocks back to nj and jm’s house.

it’s cold out, and jm instinctively wraps his arms around nj’s arm for warmth as they walk. jk doesn’t want to stare, make a big deal out of it but then nj easily offers his other arm to jk.

so jk takes it. he’s cold too, and he’s drunk and he needs that something to hold on to.

“what can i get you, jk-ah?” jm asks, standing at the larger bar they have next to the living room area.

nj is a few feet away frowning down at his phone, hooking it to the speaker and picking out a playlist.

“i-i’ll just have water,” jk says. his head already spinning. “is that okay?”

“of course,” jm says, pulling out a bottle of mineral water from the mini fridge. “nj?”

“same,” he says so jm pours two glasses for them.

jk takes one for nj, then sits down on the couch with his. jm joins him on the couch a minute later with a glass of something that is definitely not water and once nj is satisfied with the music, he sits down on the armchair across from them.
they stay in silence like that for a bit, it’s not awkward but it’s heavy and tense in a way jk is not ready to unpack. he’s too drunk for that. and he doesn’t want to rush into anything.

really, he’s terrified.

and nj and jm seem to understand it. so they wait.

jk can’t help the glances he keeps giving the fucking painting hanging above the fireplace.

nj chuckles. “you hate it that much?”

“i think now it just reminds me of, ah. before.”

“so yes?”

jk laughs. “i don’t know. i-it’s not like that.”

“if it makes binna cry, would you sell it then?” jm asks, getting up to refill his glass that’s not yet empty.

“why would it make her cry? it’s cute!”

“it’s not. it’s demonic,” he says, coming back with his glass filled and the rest of the bottle in his other hand.

“babe, slow down,” nj tells him.

“it’s fine,” he assures nj. “jk, your hair looks so pretty like that. i kept meaning to tell you,” he says, sliding closer to jk.

“thanks,” jk says quietly, blushing and looking down.

he tucked his hair back with about a dozen hairpins and a silver brooch he borrowed from th.

jm smiles. “do you always get this shy?” he asks, glances at nj.

“um.” jk looks back at nj too.

he shrugs. “you were always shy until you weren’t and i didn’t know what hit me.”

jm takes a drink from his glass before he sets it down to look at jk, his eyes dark but warm all the same over jk. “you’re so sweet,” he says softly. his lips look pillowy soft and pink and wet and jk wants.

jm’s nose twitches. he smiles. “what are you thinking about?”

“just wanna kiss you,” he blurts. and he is maybe in less control than he realizes.

jm bites his lip around a smile. he glances at nj. jk looks back too.

he’s sprawled on the armchair watching them, eyes dark. scent impossibly darker. it fills the room, jk’s lungs.

“what do you think he’s thinking about?” jm asks closer. so close, he can feel his breath on his nape.

“he wants me to kiss you,” jk says, looking at jm in the eye. and sure enough, nj’s scent gets thicker.

jm smiles, wide and bright and so pretty and jk just leans in to kiss him.

a little more desperate than he’s proud of. but he can’t help it.

jm tastes like alcohol and like the expensive lipstick he touched on just a moment ago, and just sweet. vanilla. just jm. jk feels it hit harder and faster than the alcohol.

he wants to kiss jm until he can’t forget the taste of him.

it feels cruel that he’s had to wait so long to get to do this.

“easy,” jm pants, breaking the kiss. “i- i won’t be able to stop myself if we keep going like this, baby.”

/stop yourself from what/, jk wants to ask. but he can smell jm’s arousal, his slick, heavy on his tongue.

jk whines and buries his nose in jm’s neck, along his scent gland.

jm gasps. “oh baby,” he purrs. jk can feel his hips twitch, thrust forward. “sorry,” jm mutters. “nj’s already hard.”

“i can stop myself,” nj says. “i won’t move unless you ask me to.”

“move,” jk says, snapping his head up and turning to look at nj. “come here. i want to kiss you too.”

nj doesn’t move for a long moment. just looks at jk, then at jm and back at jk.

finally, he gets up. he is definitely hard.

jk’s breath hitches as nj walks over to them and slides down on the couch on jk’s other side. jk’s heart is beating so fast.

“just kissing?” nj asks, voice coarse, but careful, gentle still.

jk hesitates, and finally nods. nj nods back in understanding.

“okay, baby,” he says, and then he’s kissing jk. hungry at first, jk drinking in a growl. he moans.

he distantly feels jm shifting, hears him pouring himself more to drink.

jk doesn’t care though, he’s clinging onto nj’s shirt, drinking him in.

he kisses just like jk remembers. deeply and thourough, all-consuming.

jk knows he’s slicking through his underwear, that his body is prepared for way more than just kissing.

so he breaks the kiss. chest heaving, hand still clutching nj’s shirt.

he drops his forehead against nj’s chest.

jm presses against his back then and kisses his neck and soon he can hear him and nj kissing above him. it’s so hot. but it’s also so— familiar. intimate in a way jk can’t describe. and it hits him, hard.

/this is what you were scared of?/ something inside his head is berating. /you’re home/.

jk shifts, lets his hand relax to where it’s just gently placed above nj’s heart, which is beating fast. he rests his head against nj’s shoulder and watches them kiss.

he bites his lip.

jm giggles into nj’s mouth then, and breaks the kiss. “jk-ie, you’re so sweet. the way your scent gives you away, really,” he says, then he’s leaning down to kiss jk. slower, gentler than before.
nj’s large hands rubbing careful circles behind each of their backs. jk feels so suddenly settled. so happy.

and slick is gushing out of him, and he can smell jm’s slick too, very present. and feel nj’s hard dick against his leg.

but none of them do anything about it. just trade kisses for the longest time. until it doesn’t feel desperately. just kissing. patiently, giddily, lovingly.

they go on until jk doesn’t feel as drunk, until jm is dozing off from how drunk /he/ is.

“i should move him to the bed,” nj says, when jm is curling up against jk to sleep.

jk himself is splayed against nj’s chest, a lot of his buttons undone somewhere along their make out session. so beyond relaxed. he hums.

“need help?” he asks. then something occurs to him. “o-or do you want me to leave? was that a hint?”

“baby, c’mon, do i look like i want you to leave?”

jk looks up at him. he looks very much wrecked. lips swollen, hair mussed, pupils blown wide. jk smiles.

“no,” he says.

nj smiles and leans in to kiss him again, slow, sweet. “you can stay,” he mutters. “i want you to.”

jk bites his lip. glances at jm, shifting in his sleep.

“he’ll be happy to wake up next to you too,” he says. “i know you were deep in heat then but me and jm were really happy those few days at your apartment,” he says, quieter. jk closes his eyes and can focuses on the sound of his voice rumbling through his chest.
“it all scares me a bit,” jk admits, just as quiet.

“i know,” he says. “it scares the shit out of me too.”

jk opens his eyes and tries to sit up, careful not to wake jm. nj sits up too and helps settle jm down against a pillow instead. jm accepts it easily.


jk smiles down at him. reaches out to brush the hair off his face. so pretty.

“does he do this often?”

“what? drink until he passes out? not really,” he says. “i mean, not recently. back in college it was a whole thing. a bad one. maybe he’ll talk to you about it sometime.”

“you worry he’ll fall back into it,” jk says.

nj nods. “and then i worry that i’m overwhelming him with it,” he says. “i don’t want him to think i don’t trust him.”

“i’m sure he knows you mean well,” jk says.

nj nods. “i just worry,” he says, then leans in and grabs the bottle it’s almost empty. “we should finish it.”

so they walk over to the bar, where nj pours the rest of the bottle for them.


“thanks,” jk murmurs and drinks. nj drinks too. and he watches jk. a small smile starting to tilt his mouth a little sideways.

“i really missed you,” he says. “i never thought i’d get to have you again.”

jk smiles down at his drink. “me neither. i felt like i shouldn’t want it. but i thought of you constantly. about how would you have reacted to something binna did or what would you have done in a certaint situation. and then i felt guilty for thinking that way.”
nj shakes his head and gently grabs jk’s face in both hands. “i’m sorry,” he says and presses a kiss to his forehead.

“me too,” he says. “but we’re here now, right?” he looks up at nj and nj smiles.

“yeah,” he says, then turns a little to lean against the bar and look at jm, who’s stil curled up on the couch and sleeping soundly. “i still wish circumstances had been different, but i like the way we fit now with everything that went through,” he says.
“it made me happy when you told me you hated the painting. back then you just readily agreed to everything. you were so eager to please me and anyway, that scared me and i’m glad you can be honest with me.”

jk hums. “i can,” he says with a smile.

“you know what else i hated?”

“oh boy.”

“your haircut back then. right before we broke up,” he says.

nj chuckles. “now you’re just being mean.”

jk laughs. “you looked handsome. you always look handsome,” he says. “it was just an awkward haircut”

“it was an awkward haircut,” he says. “thought i was really cool.”

jk hums. “you were,” he says softly. “you were so cool. it was bold. and you were so confident that you pulled it off. i loved that about you. so it didn’t really feel like lying when i said i liked it,” he says.

“i wasn’t trying to please you. i was just in love.”

nj eyes him, gaze piercing into him. “can i kiss you again?”

jk swallows. “just kissing?” he asks, mimicking nj from earlier.

nj just smiles wider and leans in to kiss him. it’s slow and firm and jk hums into it. it’s over quick. nj breaks the kiss, rests his forehead against jk. he looks like he’s about to say something but decides against it at the last minute.
instead, he grabs jk’s hand and presses tender kisses to his knuckles. jk’s heart thrashes in his chest.

“wanna get jm in bed?” nj asks, a little breathlessly. jk gets it.

he just nods and nj gets jm from the couch.

he’s easily able to carry him bridal style, jm wrapping his arms around his neck as if on instinct, and jk just follows, making sure jm’s feet dont hit anything, while walking up the narrow stairs.
“is it really ok?” jk says, hovering at the doorway of the bedroom, while nj lays jm down.

the bed is neatly made, but it still smells of both of them and looks cozy and warm and jk doesn’t want to invade.

“of course,” nj says. “it’s more than big enough. i’ll get you some pajamas.”

jk relaxes. “okay. um, do you think i can shower before?”

“sure, baby,” nj says, already looking through the drawers. “there are clean towels in the bathroom.”

jk feels sober enough already, but the shower is so good on him, on his spinning thoughts. he takes his time with it, and when he’s out, he finds jm and nj already tucked in bed.
nj is looking at a book, but jk can see how unfocused his eyes are, how hard he’s fighting off sleep.

“you didn’t have to wait up,” jk mutters.

nj smiles. “it’s okay,” he says, putting the book away, and extending an arm for jk to take.

jm has settled right in the middle of the bed, so all jk can do is let nj carefully pull him on the bed, and lie on jm’s other side under the covers.

jm is curled around a pillow. he’s wearing an oversized t-shirt and his makeup has been wiped off.

he still looks like the prettiest person jk’s ever seen. jm shifts a little, and his eyes flutter open. “jk-ah? i can feel you staring,” he mumbles, mouth in a pout.

jk blushes. “sorry. you’re just so pretty.”

jm blushes too. “aish, jk-ah,” he says, and kicks the pillow away to wrap his arms around jk instead.

nj is settling against jm’s back. and jk thinks if only binna were here, he’d feel complete.

it’d be home. a proper nest. everything jk hasn’t allowed himself to want.

he sighs. happy, relieved, for now. and lets sleep claim him right where he is. in a mess of limbs. vanilla and sandalwood filling his senses. nj’s almost immediate snoring, loud in the room.

jk stirs awake, quickly registering he’s not home, last night coming back to him all at once. he jumps up.

“binna,” he says, already looking for his phone.

“jk,” nj says. jk turns and sees him coming into the room with a cup of coffee.

“i have to pick binna up,” jk says, quieter this time, not wanting to disrupt jm who is sleeping next to him.

“baby, it’s okay,” nj says. “i talked to th, they have her. she’s gonna make blueberry pancakes with sj. she’s fine.”

guilt pools in the pit of jk’s stomach. “i-i should go, though. it’s been too long, it—”

“jk,” nj says softly, sitting on the edge of the bed next to him.

“it’s like 7 am, you only slept a few hours. you can go back to sleep. i told them we would pick her up for lunch. it’s okay. she’s having fun.”

“th called you?”

nj shakes his head. “i called him. just to check on them.”

like someone who was binna’s other father would do, jk thinks. shit that feels… good. relieving.

“um,” nj says, after a second when jk doesn’t say anything. “d-did i overstep? i’m—”

“no! no, it’s good. thanks. thank you.”

jk swallows and immediately winces. his throat is dry. his head is throbbing.

nj smiles. “here,” he says, and pulls an aspirin from his pocket. “i’ll bring you water.”

jk whines and grabs the aspirin and the cup of coffee from him, drinking it down with it.

it’s hot and it doesn’t really help with the dryness in his throat. but the coffee is good.

nj is looking at him with poorly disguised disgust.

“sorry,” jk says, giving him back the coffee cup.

“you’re good,” he says. “do you feel better?”

jk hums. already settling back into the pillows. “i’ll only sleep for another hour. wake me up, okay?”

nj smiles. “okay, baby.”

jk grunts in response and soon he’s drifting back to sleep.


he wakes up a lot more than an hour later, jk figures, by the way the light is filtering into the room.

that’s the second thing he notices.

the first thing he notices is the smell. arousal, sex, slick. his own slick and also—

“jm, s-slow down.” nj is whimpering.

jk’s eyes fly the rest of the way open.

nj is lying flat on his back on the bed, jm is not sleeping next to jk anymore. jk can only see the jimin-shaped lump under the bedsheet moving over nj’s body.

nj freezes when he sees jk is awake.

“jm,” he hisses. “stop.”

“no!” jk yelps, just as jm flips the bedsheet off of him. he’s hovering over nj’s lap. over nj’s hard dick. a line of spit, connecting his mouth and the swollen tip of nj’s cock.

they’re both staring at jk.

“you don’t have to stop, i-i can, um.”

leave? help? watch?


“you’re wet,” jm says. jk can’t deny it. “i’ll do you too if you give me a minute,” he says, a little hesitant, shyly. as if he didn’t just offer to eat jk out.

“w-we don’t have to do this,” nj says, reaching out to cover his lap with his hands.

it’s ridiculous. his dick is so big. jk can’t not stare.

“you don’t want to?” he makes himself ask. “with me?”

“we do!” they rush to say in unison.

“you said you wanted to take it slow, though,” nj says sheepishly. “we didn’t mean to pressure you, jm is just a menace.”

jm pouts and frowns at him. “your dick was poking my ass. you were getting off on it.”

“of course i was! but it’s not—”

“fuck taking it slow,” jk says. that shuts them up.

jm shoots him a worried glance.

“jk-ah, i’m sorry, we were just horny, we really don’t want to pressure you.”

jk huffs. “just suck his dick already,” he says. “make it quick, we have to be at th’s for lunch,” he says, unthinkingly cupping himself over his pajama pants, just to relieve some of the pressure.

jm’s eyes follow the movement. he licks his lip.

“are you gonna touch yourself while i do it?” he asks, batting nj’s hands away to mouth at his dick again. nj gasps.

jk bites his lip. examines them both, then nods. “can i?”

“yes, fuck,” nj mutters.

jm shoots jk the hottest, cockiest little smile, before he swallows nj’s dick down.

nj groans, his hand flying to the back of jm’s head.

not wanting to ruin any more of the pants he borrowed, jk slides them all the way off and slips his hand between his legs. he’s soaked.

“c’mere,” nj pleads. so jk scoots over to him and kisses him. hungrily. nj moans into it.

nj moves the hand that was clutching the sheets and slides it down jk’s back.

desperate for friction, jk thrusts a little against nj’s hip. nj all but growls.

“shit, baby, you’re so wet,” he says. moving his hand further down, between jk’s buttcheeks and past his ass until he finds jk’s wet folds and begins fingering him in earnest.

and fuck if nj does still know all the right spots to touch and have jk squirming.

jk almost lets himself come, with nj’s fingers, and his hip between his thighs.

jm doesn’t let nj come, though, pulling off when nj gets close. nj grunts in protest.

“wait just a bit, babe,” jm tells him, voice coarse.

jm eats jk out instead, until jk comes. then he begs nj to fuck him, while jk watches and gets himself off a second time.

it’s all so hot.

and it feels so right. doesn’t feel fast or rushed. just natural.

natural to whimper into jm’s mouth as nj pounds into him. natural to curl up next to jm, spent, and satisfied and giddy, while nj cleans them all up and peppers them with kisses.

it’s still scary, if jk thinks too hard about it. but he’s not. he won’t.

“i thought you wanted to take things slow,” th says later, a little smugly. he’s eyeing a particularly large mark someone left just in the juncture between jk’s neck and shoulder.

they’re at the playground after having had lunch.

m and nj are taking turns pushing binna on the swing. jk can’t help how his chest goes really warm and tender at the sight.

“yeah, well,” jk says. and just leaves it at that.

th doesn’t try to hide his smirk.

(cw // breeding kink 🔞, which gives way to a lot of serious conversation about having babies, a home pregnancy test, and some — non-sexual — pee talk??)
it goes on like that.

jk catches up to jm and nj a few nights a week, or whenever he’s working from home and can take a break, he’ll text them and they’ll come over before jk can even finish showering, and they fuck.

it’s in turns filthy and tender and jk can’t get enough of it.

it’s like he’s making up for all the years he’s spent not having sex. it’s fucking good and it appeals to instincts jk has been ignoring for so long. and it surprises him outside of heat, but he /enjoys/ it.

and so do jm and nj.

“you feel that?” nj almost growls.

he’s fucking jk from behind, and frantically moving his hand across jk’s lower belly. “i’m filling you so good, baby.”

jk gasps, letting jm’s cock slide out of his mouth. jm lets a whine out, but doesn’t do anything except run his fingers through jk’s hair.

“you like that?” he mewls. “feeling his cock all the way up to your tummy?”

jk rests his forehead against jm’s hip. nj keeps thrusting into him. steadily, firm, hard. “y-yeah. i want you come like this,” he rasps out.

“inside, sweetheart? i can? you’ll let me spill inside you, omega?”nj asks. “feels so good.”


“baby wants to make another baby?” jm asks, feeding jk his cock again, as he leans in to feel at jk’s stomach where nj still has his hand splayed on. jk moans.

it doesn’t take long for nj to come.

panting and grunting about breeding him and putting pups inside him and how good jk looks pregnant. then he fingers jk as jm comes down his throat.

later, when they’re all wrapped around each other, jk notices nj keeps eyeing jk’s stomach.

“hyung, there isn’t really a pup in there,” jk mutters. as soon as they started doing this, jk went on birth control.

the talk and the feeling of nj’s come pumping in, then sliding out of his pussy is hot and all, but he doesn’t want to take any chances.

nj blushes. “no, i-i know. i just,” he clears his throat. “i can’t stop picturing it.”

jm laughs. “will you show us the photos again, jk-ah?”

jk blushes but reaches out for his phone and searches for the photos. he hands the phone to nj.

he’s tucked in between jk and jm so it’s easy for them to lean in and look. it’s the photos jk took each month to document the progress for his mother.

it’s just him standing in front of a mirror, usually in his pajamas, puckering up his lips for the photo.

nj’s scent gets thicker as he scrolls through the photos and jk’s belly gets bigger in them.

jm smiles without removing his eyes from the screen. “will you control yourself? these are /cute/.”

and just as the words leave his mouth, nj scrolls past the month nine photo,

and then they’re looking at a photo of a heavily pregnant jk wearing only a tiny pair of black lace panties and kneeling in front of the mirror. jk’s face goes very hot.

“ah, sorry, those are, um,” he fumbles for words, resists the urge of snatching the phone away.

nj and jm are staring at it, eyes round, arousal heavy in their scents.

“holy shit,” nj whispers, as he scrolls and there are more photos of jk posing provocatively in front of the mirror. “who were you sending these to?”

“no one!” jk is quick to say.

nj and jm turn to look at him.

“i mean, i don’t know. just guys i texted with,” he relents. “just because i didn’t sleep with anyone doesn’t mean i wasn’t horny as shit.”

nj swallows, looking back at the phone. “shit,” he says again.

“you were hornier than usual? during the pregnancy?” jm asks. jk can also definitely sense arousal from him, but when he asks, he sounds more genuinely curious than anything else.

jk hums. “a little, yeah. the hormones were fucking crazy,” he says,

taking the phone back from nj when the arousal in his scent doesn’t budge. they only have around thirty minutes before jk has to pick binna from school. they don’t have time for another round.

“you know, i think it’s really hot, obviously,” nj says.

“but it also makes me, ah, sad that i wasn’t there for all of it. the cute pregnancy photos and the horny as shit part of it both.”

jk looks away. he doesn’t really like when the conversation drifts into the break up. “you can still have it, though,” he says.

“with jm. you guys are still young.”

that just makes it more awkward.

jm looks at him. “you think i want to have kids?” it’s not mean, or ill-intended, really. again, just curious.

“oh, i-i don’t really know,” jk says. “sorry. for assuming.”

“we’re still undecided,” nj says.

“i wouldn’t call it undecided,” jm says.

nj’s jaw goes tense. “what would you call it, then, jm? i’m being respectful of /your/ boundary.”

jm turns to look at him, his face has gone tense too.

“i’m sorry,” jk says again. “fuck, i’m so sorry. i didn’t mean to bring that up like that.”

jm shakes his head. “it’s fine,” he looks down at his hands. “i do want to have pups.”

“you do?” nj asks.

jm looks back at him. “nj, i swear, don’t come acting like i’ve never talked about this with you.”

“i’m not saying you haven’t,” nj says. “it’s just that you’ve never said it like that. there’s always been conditions to it.”

“there are,” jm snaps. “that doesn’t mean i don’t want kids. stop trying to oversimplify my stance on it.”

jk swallows, feeling very uncomfortable. it’s clearly an ongoing discussion for them

and he doesn’t know how he or binna fit into it. he feels like he shouldn’t be here for it.

they both notice it seems, because they turn to look at jk.

“jk, please, don’t worry about it,” jm says.

“we’re definitely not thinking about pups right now. it’s a pointless discussion at this moment. don’t feel bad.”

nj doesn’t seem to entirely agree but he doesn’t say anything. so they leave it at that.

they get up and get dressed, preparing to go back to their daily routines.

jk is picking binna up, nj has a work meeting and jm has to go teach a dance class.

“ah, before i forget,” nj tells them when they’re all gathering their stuff. jk and jm turn to look at him.

“my mom wants to come have lunch on saturday, so i won’t be able to meet you and binna,” he says.

“what? why are you just telling me this?” jm asks, he’s gone very still next to jk.

“she just called me about it this morning,” nj says.

“listen, you don’t have to be there. i don’t want you to.”


“i’m gonna tell her, jm,” nj says. jk goes very still too.

“about the wedding,” nj rushes to say, then. “not about binna. not yet.”

there’s a long pause. jm is not looking at nj. just at the floor.

“and you don’t want me there.”

nj shakes his head. “i know her. she’ll be upset. she says hurtful things when she’s upset. you don’t need to hear it.”

“how are you going to explain it to her?”

“i’ll tell her it’s none of her business.”

jk snorts. “you won’t.”

“i’ll tell her the truth, then,” nj says. “we are not in any position to get married right now.”

“and you think she’ll accept that?”

“jm,” nj says. “i am asking you to trust me with this.”

jm purses his lip. “okay,” he says after a long moment, running a hand through his hair.

“fucking be my guest, then. the less i have to see your mother, the better.”

“jm, darling,” nj says. that makes jm look at him. “say you trust me with this.”

jm actually looks torn, as he examines nj. finally, he sighs, giving in. “i trust you.”

nj wets his dry lip and nods, looking relieved. he turns to jk. “i’ll see how that goes and then i wanted to talk to her about binna sometime soon.”

jk shrugs. “if that’s what you want,” he says. “but she can’t come near binna if she’s gonna be mean.”

“of course not.”

“okay then,” he says.

they all kiss goodbye after that. and none of it comes up until saturday, when jm shows up at his door.

jk decided to just cook a nice, simple lunch for him and binna at the apartment.

he worried binna would be disappointed since she’s gotten used to eating out on weekends courtesy of nj. but she was happy to help him in the kitchen and she was happy to set up a picnic blanket on their living room while she watched finding dory on the tv.
jk hopes she’s happy that it’s just the two of them, too.

she’s been spending so much time with th and sj and the pup and jm and nj and sometimes hs and yg join them too. and jk might be starting to feel like he’s not enough for her.

she’s even starting to warm up to nj.

she’s still reluctant about him, but she has accepted him as part of their lives, and she has gotten used to him. which feels like good progress. still, jk feels that tiny shard of insecurity. so he’s glad to spend time alone with binna.
they eat lunch early and then binna falls asleep against her stuffed shark in the blanket she’s laid out on the floor.

jk has just put her down on her bed, when jm rings.

“hey,” he says when jk opens the door. he’s wearing sweatpants under his coat. his hair is soft. he recently woke up, jk can tell. “can i hide out in here?”

“of course,” jk says, letting him in. “is his mother at the house?”

jm hums. “yeah.”

“did you see her?”

“nope. i left before she arrived,” he says. “this is so cute,” he says looking over at binna’s makeshift picnic.

jk snickers. “yeah, we ate lunch on there.”

“is she asleep?”

he nods. “are you hungry?”

jm smiles softly at him. “yeah.”

so jk fixes him up a bowl and watches him eat. something in his chest gloats at the sight of jm enjoying his food.

jm laughs slurping on a noodle. “jk-ah, what.”

jk smiles, and leans in to wipe sauce off the corner of jm’s mouth with his thumb. “sorry.”

“it’s okay. it’s very good, jk-ah, thank you,” he says.

jk nods. “no problem,” he says, the leans back into the couch a little, getting comfortable. “are you nervous? about nj’s mother?” he asks after a while. he can sense some type of distress in jm’s scent.

jm hums, looking up from where he’s setting his bowl down on the side table. “no. i do trust him,” jm says. “that relationship between him and his mother is more complicated than any of us realizes, i think. he’ll know what to say.”
“right,” jk says. “um, it’s just, you seem off.”

jm turns to him, eyes round. “like, my scent? what does it smell like?”

“ah, like you’re worried?”

jm relaxes a bit at that. he nods. “yeah, um. so i have a pregnancy test in my bag.”

“what?” jk chokes out, color draining from his face.

“yeah, ah, i wasn’t feeling great this week so i went for a checkup and my doctor thought i should take one. she wanted to do a blood test but i didn’t want— i wanted to do it here instead. with you.”

jk swallows. “okay,” he says, quickly, sliding closer to jm and grabbing his hand. “it’s okay. it’ll be okay.”

jm slides down the couch a little, he sighs. “did i attract this?”

“no,” jk says immediately. “it just happens, hyung.”

“i’m not that young,” jm says. “like, what if this is the only chance i get? and it had to happen /now/ out—”

“jm,” jk says, dropping to the floor and positioning himself in front of jm, taking his face in his hands. “you’re young. you have time to do this right if you want to.”

“but what if—”

“hyung. let’s not get ahead of ourselves.”

it all reminds jk of the time he had to take his own pregnancy test. how things turned out then.

he pushes it out of his mind.

jm bites his lip.

“c’mon,” jk says. “the faster we get it done, the better. i’ll be with you.”

jm grunts and gets up.

“i got all the kinds,” he says, opening his bag and dropping about five pregnancy tests on the couch. jk blinks at them. “i just want to be sure,” jm says.

“of course,” jk says. “just t-that’s a lot of pee.”

jm giggles. “i drank four cans of soda on the way over. i’m actually bursting right now.”

a smile spreads across jk’s face. he gestures towards the bathroom.

jk waits on the other side of the slightly ajar door. it sort of reminds him of trying to watch over a recently potty trained binna. he can’t help the little laugh he exhales.

“what are you laughing at?” jm pouts from inside. “you know, i actually need you to come in.”

“you do?”

“yeah, it’s too many of them. i didn’t think this through.”

so jk goes in. he takes the warm pee-filled cups from jm to drop the pregnancy tests in. it’s weird how it’s not really weird or gross or awkward at all.

still, the intimacy is enough to form a lump in jk’s throat.

“do you usually pee sitting down?” jk asks, just for something to say when he’s taking the third cup.

“yeah, maybe this would’ve been easier if i was standing,” he says. “you think that’s weird?”

“that you pee sitting down? no,” jk laughs. “i wish everyone did.”

jm hums. “it’s tidier. i keep telling nj.”

jk smiles. “so did i.”

jm smiles back, and then he’s done. they wash their hands and they wait in silence.

jk keeps throwing glances at jm, though. he’s really nervous. jk doesn’t know what else to say to distract him. but there’s something in the tip of his tongue. he is very close to blurting it out, when the timer on his phone goes off.

jm jumps a little.

“it’s okay, hyung,” he says. “want me to look?”

“can we both look?”

jk nods. “of course,” he says and before the words are out, jm is already taking one of the tests.

“negative,” he says.

jk swallows and takes another one. “negative.”

they look at each other for a beat, then they pick out the rest of the tests.


“negative, too,” jk says.

jm nods, not looking at jk and leans against the bathroom tile. jk grabs the last test. “it’s also negative,” he says quietly.

jm is not looking at him. his eyes are closed.

“hyung, are you okay?”

jm nods. doesn’t say anything. jk just stands there.

“ah, do you want to go back to the couch? sit down? i’ll clean all of this up.”

jm nods again. “don’t tell nj about this,” he asks, voice soft, eyes sliding open.

“of course. i won’t,” he says.

jm nods again and walks out of the bathroom.

when jk joins him, jm is just sitting on the couch staring into the distance. jk slides next to him carefully.

“are you sure you’re okay? you don’t want to talk about it?”

jm’s eyes focus on him. “it’s just a very odd feeling, isn’t it? thinking you might be— and then just not. it feels like a very big responsibility to just even be able to conceive a-and bring life,” he says.

“i know it’s a great and beautiful thing or whatever but it messes with my head so much.”

jk nods. “i get it. and the instincts don’t help.”

jm huffs out a laugh. “fucking breeding instincts. sometimes i don’t know if it’s me that really wants it. kids and the whole thing.”

“it’d be okay if you didn’t,” jk says.

“i know,” jm says.

“and i’m sorry if i’ve made it worse w-with the breeding thing.”

“no! oh my god, no,” jm hurries to say, leaning in to brush his fingers across jk’s forehead.

“it’s hot, like, really hot during sex,” he says. “i’d be be thinking about these things either way.”

jk hesitates a second before he says anything else. but jm came to him with this. he trusts jk. it makes jk giddy and that thing on the tip of his tongue weigh heavier.

so he just asks.

“has the pups thing been a problem between you two?”

jm sighs. “i never considered it a problem, but i guess it might be? you see, nj wants kids. i don’t know if back then when he was with you he talked about it or maybe he wasn’t ready then.

but he’s wanted it for a while now.” jm runs a hand through his hair. “maybe it has to do with the pressure his mother puts on him, i don’t know. but bottom line is he wants kids. and it’s something i was reluctant about before i met him.
not because i don’t want to be a parent, but because it scares me,” he says. he sighs. “and i don’t want to say this to you and have you feel bad or offended but what scares me is having to do it alone. i don’t want that. i’m not as brave or as strong as you are, jk-ah.
i could never have done what you have.”

jk swallows. “you won’t ever have to,” he says firmly. “nj would be there. i could be there if you want me to.”

jm smiles softly at him. “thank you, jk-ie,” he says quietly.

“that’s what nj says. and the thing is, i trust him and i love him. i want to have pups with him because it’s /him/ i’d be doing it with. it would fill me with so much joy to carry his baby because it’s /his/, y’know?”

jk’s throat feels tight. “yeah.”

he wants to tell jm that all those years ago he decided to keep his own baby /because/ it was nj’s, but after all this time, when he loves binna because she is herself, he still doesn’t know how to voice the thought without feeling guilty. so he lets jm keep talking.
“so, i do want pups. with nj. but i don’t want to bring them into a uncertain home. i don’t think he gets that,” he says. “but it doesn’t matter anymore, right? because he has binna. we have you.”

jm looks at him, eyes tender and just a little sad. jk has to wet his lip.

“you do have us,” he says. “but jm, if you wanted pups of your own, please know i would be okay with anything you’d need to do to get to that point. i don’t want you to feel uncertain. i don’t want myself or binna to feel that way either.”
jm smiles, still a little sad. “i don’t know how to get to that point.”

and jk feels like maybe throwing up, or maybe just telling him what’s on the edge of his tongue, which in his head sounds a lot like /i love you/, but then one of their phones is ringing.

jm picks it up. he listens. he hums. “sure. everything went okay?” he asks. “okay. love you.” and then he’s ending the call.


jm nods. “he’s coming over,” he says. “that’s okay, right?”

“yeah, of course,” jk says. “are /you/ okay with it?”

jm nods. “just c’mere, you haven’t kissed me once today,” he says.

jk smiles and lets jm pull him down on top of him and into a kiss.

they trade lazy kisses like that until nj arrives and lets himself in with the spare key jk gave them.

jk parts from jm’s mouth to look at him.

nj is standing by the doorway with a little reluctant smile on his face.

“may i?” he asks.

jm smiles, rolling his eyes, before extending his arm to gesture him over. nj smiles wider.

jk’s couch isn’t as big as nj’s so they fumble a bit, the couch creaking.

jm giggles at nj and jk trying to fit themselves at either side of him. “two big puppies, i swear.”

they kiss more, sweet and tame for a while and then jm pushes nj away to look at him. “what happened with your mother?” he asks. “don’t think you can distract me with kisses.”

nj smiles a little sheepishly. “i’m not trying to distract you,” he says. “ah, i told her.”

“how’d she react?” jk asks.

nj sighs and drops his head against the armrest. “she was… disappointed. but i told her it was for the best right now, so.”

“so?” jm prompts.

“so she was still disappointed,” nj says with a laugh. “but now she knows.”

“did she blame it on me?” jm asks.

nj doesn’t look at him. “she blamed it on me actually,” he says quietly.

jm’s brow tilts down in sympathy. “was she very mean?”

nj looks at him then and smiles. “don’t worry about it,” he says, then he turns to jk. “okay? it’s fine.”

“i don’t like that she thinks she can talk to you the way she does while you just sit there and take it, though,” jm says. “nj, next time i should be there, i think.”

“jm, it’s okay, i—”

“appa?” binna’s little, sleepy slur comes then. jk fumbles to sit up, tries to get up from the couch without hurting jm or nj.

“binna, sweetheart,” he says. “you’re up.”

“what are you doing?” she asks, she’s standing at her doorway.

“we’re— we’re just—”

“we’re cuddling!” jm chirps. “wanna come?”

binna hesitates just a second. then she nods and runs over to them, quickly climbing on the couch, over them, digging her tiny knees and elbows into them. jk catches nj wincing when she steps on his thigh. jk snickers.

“careful, sweetheart.”

finally, she plops down, halfway on top of jk.

“appa made japchae,” she says. “did you eat lunch?” she asks nj and jm.

nj smiles. “we did,” he says. “i’m sorry i wasn’t here to eat wit you.”

“where were you?”

“i was with my mom,” he says.

“oh,” she says, frowning, as she process it. then she looks up at him. “can we still have dessert?”

nj smiles wider. “yes we can,” he says. “what do you have in mind?”

“can we get bungeoppang from downstairs and bring it back to the picnic?”

“absolutely,” nj says, already getting up, binna following. “can we watch a movie?”

binna nods. “have you seen finding dory?”

nj shakes his head. “what is it about?”

“it’s about a blue tang fish called dory that wants to find her family,” she starts. “but she forgets things and—”

“binna, your coat,” jk says, jumping off the couch when binna is already heading towards the door. she looks at him and pouts. “and your boots,” jk reminds her.

binna sighs and lets nj help her into her coat while she continues telling him about the movie. jk doesn’t miss how clear with emotion his eyes go.

he turns back to look at jm. he’s also noticed.

he looks overwhelmed with it, too. jk offers up a smile. jm just smiles back.


they continue having good progress. with binna. and between the three of them. blissful, simple winter days.

jk still senses tension sometimes between nj and jm, and he worries about things falling apart, but then he catches these moments between them.

nj unthinkingly anticipating jm’s whims, jm kissing the tip of nj’s nose, looking at nj so reverently, so in love. the whispered love assurances they share.

and jk isn’t jealous.

he just desperately wishes he was brave and confident enough to tell them how he feels too. but he feels paralyzed. he feels a little broken.

jk was always so open about his love for nj back then, but now all he does is overthink and worry.

what if they don’t feel the same way?

what if they love each other in a way they can’t love jk? would he just make a fool of himself by being too honest when nj and jm only want to have sex while they raise a child with him?

ultimately, jk can be okay with just having them in bed when he can.

and having them be there for binna. jk is fine with it. really. he’s glad things seem to be okay between jm and nj. jk can be happy with this. he can.

it’s easy to provoke them, rile them up until they have to take turns fucking jk into the mattress.

it’s easy when they get late breakfast after, quiet and domestic. and it’s easy when they all get together with th and sj and yg and hs.

it’s easy to watch fondly as binna tells nj about what she recently learned at school about dinosaurs and evolution,

while jm leans his head on jk’s shoulder.

it’s easy to just let the flow take him. it’s easy and it’s good.

“what plans do you have for christmas?” nj asks sometime the second week of december. they’re naked in their bed, jm shuffling and trying to nap on jk’s other side.

“my parents are coming for a few days,” he says. “i have to book them a hotel.”

“let me take care of it,” nj says quickly.

jk raises an eyebrow. “i haven’t even told them that you’re back in our lives.”

“what better way to introduce him back than with a room in a five star hotel,” jm mutters. his eyes are still closed against the pillow.

“my parents won’t be impressed by that,” jk says.

“do they hate me?” nj asks.

“a little, yeah,” jk says. “but they’ll respect you as binna’s father.”

“not as… um, what this is?”

“if /you/ don’t know what to call this, there is absolutely no hope for them to understand it. so i think we better leave this out of it.”

“we should know how to call it,” jm says very quietly against jk’s neck. both jk and nj pretend not to hear him.

but things continue to go well, despite everything they can’t say.

jk even starts to think that there might be nothing to worry about, up until there is, and the thing they can’t name splits at the seams.

they’re at nj and jm’s one friday night. they ordered pizza and watched movies until binna fell asleep across jk’s chest.

“is she asleep?” nj asks, voice quiet.

jk nods, running a gentle hand over binna’s back.

nj leans in to grab the remote and lower the tv’s volume,

then he clears his throat. jm, who’s sprawled on the carpet, leaning against the couch looks up.

“what is it?”

“ah, yeah, um. i saw my mom today,” he starts. jk freezes, looks up at him. “she, ah. she knows. about binna.”

“you told her?” jm asks, a little too loud.

“of course not,” nj says. “she, fuck, she found out, okay? after i told her about the engagement she started, ah, checking in on us, i guess.”

“oh my god,” jm says.

jk doesn’t say anything, doesn’t move. his grip on binna might’ve gone a little tighter.

“i’m sorry,” nj says.

“this is not how i wanted things to go, but she’s, ah, the way she is.”

“what does she want?” jk hears himself ask.

nj eyes him for a second then sighs. “she wants us to come for dinner tomorrow,” he says. “just the three of us. binna doesn’t have to be there.

i talked to hs, he can watch her.”

“the three of us?” jk asks.

nj nods. “yeah. she said she wants to have a chance to understand this.”

jk scoffs. “and you believed that?”

nj sighs. “listen, i know what she’s put you through.

and i will forever be sorry about it. both of you,” he says. “b-but i want to give it one last try. she sounded sincere and i— fuck, she’s my mother, the only parent i have left and i want to try. i-if it doesn’t work out i’ll give it up, i promise.
i’ll give it up for you two. for binna. i just want to give this a shot.”

jm and jk are quiet.

for as long as jk has known nj, he’s sought his mother attention, her approval. even when he’s pretended otherwise. jk always felt something a little like pity for nj.

which is the only reason he ever tried to have a civil relationship with the woman. but she never made it easy, not for jk and not for nj.

“i don’t want her to know binna,” jk says. “i don’t want her to get hurt.”

nj nods. “i know. i don’t want that either,” he says.

“that’s why i think we should do this. so we can talk and set boundaries. the minute she starts being disrespectful to any of you we leave. i promise.”

jm rests his head back against the couch, looking up at the ceiling and sighs. “i love you. you know i’ll do it,” he says,

then hesitates and adds, “if you’re also okay with it, i mean.” he’s talking to jk.

jk fumbles a little under both of their gazes. “fine,” he says. “but i won’t be polite.”

jm laughs. “please don’t.”

nj grins and leans in to press a kiss to jk’s temple.

“thank you. i, ah. i really appreciate it.”

jk gives him a little smile. a genuine one.

“i also said yes,” jm pouts from the floor. nj smiles and leans down to kiss jm too.

“i love you,” he tells jm.

jk’s smile drops.

the next day, they drop binna off at hs and yg’s for a sleepover, then make the drive to nj’s mother’s house up on a hill.

the house, big ass mansion, really, brings bad memories and a lot of anxiety for jk.

jm slips his hand into jk’s once they get out of the car.

“good thing we’re together, yeah?”

jk makes himself smile and nods.

“we won’t be long,” nj says. “if she gets out of line, we leave right away, okay?”

jk nods again. they discussed this.

and they discussed the extent of what they’re willing to share about their relationship, whatever it is. it either complicates or simplifies things that nj’s mother already has a pretty good idea of what they get up to.

but that’s not what they’re here for. it’s about binna.

or it’s about nj, really.

they are greeted at the door by the housekeeper who takes their coats from them, and very pointedly escorts them to the living room.

“you wouldn’t know i fucking grew up here,” nj mutters.

the housekeeper hears him, and gives him a sour look.

she leaves them in the living room and walks out.

it’s another five minutes before jk can sense nj’s mother’s pungent scent. he goes very tense.

“this house hasn’t reeked this strong of omega in years,” she says as way of greeting.

“mom,” nj warns.

“it’s just an observation,” she says, dragging her eyes all over jk. “let’s go to the dining room,” she says and turns away.

nj sighs and follows her. jm and jk go along.

the dinner is all laid out on the table, but no one makes a move to start eating. nj’s mother won’t remove her cold gaze from jk and it’s making his omega feel very threatened.

finally, she turns to look at jm. “you look lovely tonight, jm,” she says.

jm forces a smile. “thank you, eomeonim,” he says shortly.

she examines him for a long moment, eyes squinting. “you’re really okay with all this?”

jm’s smile falters. “w-with what?”

she gestures towards jk, nj.

jk closes his fists tightly under the table.

“mom,” nj starts.

“what?” she snaps. “i’m asking a question! i just want to know if your future husband is okay with you sharing your bed with another omega.”

jk’s nails are digging painfully into his palms.

“i’m also sleeping with them, eomeonim,” jm says before nj or jk can speak.

“i’m more than okay with it.”

and it’s not at all what they discussed, but it’s so much like jm to just fly off and say whatever will spark the reaction he wants.

nj curses under his breath and drops his face into his palm. jk doesn’t move, he feels like he can’t.

nj’s mother’s eyes go wide for a second, then she huffs out a little humorless laugh. “you’re seriously coming to me with this?” she asks nj, still ignoring jk.

“no, no i’m not, actually,” nj says lifting his head, sparing a single glare at jm. “that’s our personal business.

we are here to discuss the extent of your presence in our— in binna’s life, like we agreed. we don’t want her to go through what i’ve went through.”

nj’s mother hums, she looks at jk again. “i want to see a dna test,” she says.

jk blinks at her. “fine?”

“what? no,” nj says.

“there’s no need for that.”

“you might blindly go along with this but i won’t, nj,” she says.

“i don’t care,” nj starts.

“it’s fine,” jk says. “i won’t let her call me a liar—”

“no,” nj says, a growl seeping through. “no one is pinching my— binna.

no one is pinching binna for some fucking dna test,” he says. he looks at his mother. “she’s mine. i know she is, i can feel it. you know what that feels like,” he says. “or i hope you do.”

“of course i do,” she hisses.

“i might not have been there for all of it but you are /mine/. which is why i won’t let yourself ruin your life for some omega and their random kid, nj, i—”

“don’t talk about them like that.”

“i saved you once from it, i won’t hesitate to do it again,” she finishes,

looking at jk.

jk swallows. “what does that mean?” he asks, turning to nj.

“nothing,” nj grits. he looks at his mother. “you didn’t save me. you nearly ruined my life. and this is not what we agreed to now. if you’re not willing to compromise,

i won’t hesitate either to walk away from you. with them and with binna.”

she slams a palm against the table. they all jump. “don’t threaten me,” she says.

“you think this will work out?” she gestures at the three of them. “because it won’t, i’m already letting you all know. it won’t. it’s a fantasy. it will end up in tears and it will leave you all alone, nj. i’m trying to look after you.”
no one says anything for a whole minute. no one will meet anyone’s eyes either.

finally, nj speaks. “i won’t let that happen,” he says quietly. “i won’t end up like you.”


“i’m sorry i brought you here,” he tells jm and jk. “let’s go.”

he gets up from the table. jm and jk are still frozen in place.

“nj, if you walk out right now, you will regret it,” his mother says. “don’t forget who gave you everything you have.

don’t forget who can take it away.”

nj is not meeting her eyes. there’s a tear welling up under his eye. jk stands up, jm follows. they wait for nj to move.

“take whatever you want,” nj mutters. he glances up at his mother.

“my daughter won’t grow up miserable and unloved like i did. if doing better than you is the one thing i get from this relationship, i can live with it.”

“leave, then” she snarls, with barely contained anger.

nj looks at jm and jk and nods once, before heading towards the door.

(cw // smoking)

jk and jm follow without a word. the alpha scent in the room suffocating, as they leave it behind.

they parked a few steps down the hill, and as nj walks, he’s already fumbling for a cigarette he’s tucked away in the inside pocket of his coat.

“where’d you get that from?” jm asks, catching up to nj.

“bought it on the way over,” nj mumbles. his face is still wet with tears. “please, jm.”

jm runs his hands through his hair, then waves them over in surrender.

“i’m sorry,” nj says, stopping just in front of jm’s car.

“we shouldn’t have come here. i thought that because binna was involved maybe she would’ve— maybe she was— she would’ve wanted— /fuck/,” he hisses when the fifth attempt to light the cigarette doesn’t take.

jk licks his lip and grabs the lighter from him.

nj sniffles as jk cups one hand around the cigarette and lights it up with the other one.

“thanks,” nj says, taking a drag and sniffling again. “i’m sorry.”

“stop apologizing for her,” jm says.

“you’re not responsible for her. the things she’s said and done are not your fault, it’s all her.”

“i brought you here. i’ve let her treat you the way she has. i let her—”

“no,” jm snaps. “it’s human fucking nature to want a normal relationship with a normal, nurturing mother.

you’ve tried and there’s nothing wrong with that. she’s the one who’s fucked up.”

nj doesn’t say anything, just takes another drag, looks at the ground.

“what did she mean?” jk makes himself ask. “when she said she saved you before. what did you let her do?”

nj closes his eyes, more tears stream down.

“it’s not your fault, nj,” jm insists. “she’s been fucking manipulative your whole life. you were barely out of school, you were just a kid. what were you supposed to do?”

jk takes a step back. “what are you talking about?”

nj still won’t open his eyes.

“nj,” jk pleads, his chest feeling tight.

jm huffs. “she fucking manipulated him into breaking up with you. she convinced him you two didn’t have a future together, that—”

“will you stop?” nj snaps, eyes flying open. “think before you speak for once?”

jm closes his mouth, his jaw going tight.

nj sighs. “i’m sorry—”

“fuck you, nj,” jm says. “we’re here for you. because we care about you. trying to be fucking supportive,

trying to make things work with your bitch of a mother for /you/.”

“i know,” nj says, wincing. “i’m sorry, i—”

“whatever. i’m gonna go, you guys need to talk, anyway. take a fucking cab,” he says and walks around the car to the driver’s seat.

“jm, c’mon,” nj pleads.

jm unlocks the car and opens the door. then slams it shut again. he sighs.

“i love you but you need to sort this shit out,” he says. “i can stay. wait and—”

“no, you should go,” jk says, voice coarse.

jm’s face falls, goes incredibly soft.

“jk-ah, no, i’m sorry, i just got upset—”

“i’m not mad at you,” jk cuts him off. “you’re right, we need to talk.”

jm doesn’t move, just looks at jk, eyes sad. “and you dont want me here.”

“i think it will be a more productive talk if you’re not,” jk says quietly, looking down.

“he’s right,” nj says quietly.

there’s a long pause. then jm saying, “fine,” his voice breaking and opening the car door again.

this time when it slams shut, jm is inside the car. and then without another glance at them, he’s driving away.

jk watches the car disappearing as he turns a corner and he feels a tear trailing down. he wipes it off.

“it’ll be fine,” nj says. “he’s just angry, it’ll pass. i shouldn’t have talked to him that way. but he shouldn’t have told you those things.”

jk looks at him. he’s still crying. they both are. it’s so stupid.

“so you could continue hiding it from me?”

“no, so i could explain it to you the way it happened. not his version of it.”

jk holds his gaze for a moment then huffs, shoulders slumping. “i hate talking about this,” he says.

“i know you do,” nj says. “i don’t like it either, but he’s right. i need to sort this out. i need to be completely honest,

otherwise this won’t work and i’ll just be proving her right.”

jk nods. “fine, then,” he says, bracing himself.

nj sighs and nods. “fine, then,” he parrots. “so, ah. back then, when we were dating and i was working as my mother’s assistant, she, ah.

she was very insistent on me focusing on the job, so i could build a career of my own but she also wanted me to get married. have children young, she said. and i didn’t understand how she expected me to do both at the same time, you know?”
jk scoffs. “she expected me to raise them while you focused on your work.”

nj shakes his head. “that’s the thing. she didn’t want me to marry you. so she kept pilling up work for me, kept introducing me to other people even if i told her i wasn’t interested.”

jk stares. memories come flashing. nj coming home late, overworked and smelling of other omegas. how much it hurt jk. how insecure it made him feel.

“but i didn’t budge for the longest time. i loved you. only you. and i thought that was enough, but we kept drifting apart.

there was this strain in our relationship and i didn’t know how to fix it.”

“she put it there, nj, she fucking did that.”

“she put some of it there. the rest of it was me not knowing how to talk to you about how i was feeling.

we just weren’t communicating well and she took advantage,” he says. “she found me looking miserable one day and she asked me what was happening and i told her. i didn’t think she’d use it against me. i think i just wanted to be comforted,” he says, still sniffling a bit.
“what’d she say?”

nj pushes a smile, crooked and without humor. “she said you would be better of without me. that you were too young. that you would just grow to hate me. i believed her,” he says. “it’s so easy to believe one’s mother.

you know, it’s one of the hardest things i’ve had to do. training my brain to stop believing everything she says. sometimes i still struggle with it.”

jk thinks about it. about how his own mother, a loving one, will comment on jk’s appearance sometimes.

about how unflattering a piece of clothing is for him. or how long his hair has gotten. how much greasy food he’s eating.

how easy it’s to believe her then. how easy it’s to let her inside his head.

he thinks about what it’d be like if those comments were ill intended and venomous, like they’ve been for nj.

“i’m so sorry, jk,” nj says. “i’m sorry i let her hurt you. if you allow it, i’ll make sure she never does it again. that she never does it to binna.”

jk nods, keeping his head low. he doesn’t say anything. his brain to stuck in processing this information. things that happened so long ago.

“jk, can i come closer?”

jk nods again.

he looks up when nj is right in front of him.

“you keep saying that you loved me,” jk says, letting what has been on his mind for days slip out. “like it’s something you used to do and n-not—”

nj leans in to kiss jk’s forehead.

“i love you,” he says softly. “loved you then, love you now.”

jk closes his eyes, lets his head drop forward, tucks his nose in the crook of nj’s neck, letting his scent soothe him. “i love you too,” he whispers. nj’s arms wrap around him. jk hums.

“i’m sorry you’ve been hurt by her too.”

nj hums back. “i’ll live.”

jk glances up at him. “you’ve never called binna your daughter before.”

nj hums back. “well, she is. isn’t she?”

“she is,” jk says, smiling a little against nj’s skin. he pulls away.

“can we go after jm now?”

nj smiles a little and nods.

they take a cab back to the house and find jm’s car already parked there.

they walk in and find jm curled up in the couch, in the darkened living room. he turns to look at them when they come in.

“that was quick,” he says. his eyes are red and puffy from crying. jk wants to climb over there and kiss his face all over. tell him he loves him too.

but then jm is bursting into tears, and nj is stepping forward, opening up his arms for him. “darling.”

jm climbs over the couch and throws himself into nj’s arms. not before he smacks him on the chest, though. “you’re an a asshole,” he chokes out before wrapping nj into a hug.
“i’m sorry, babe, i’m so sorry,” nj is whispering into jm’s hair over and over.

and jk’s chest feels a little lighter, but something still doesn’t sit right with him. he still feels awkward and intruding as he watches them.

even when jm extends an arm to reach out for jk and pull him into the hug. even when not half an hour ago, nj was telling him he loved him.

still he resigns himself, and sighs contentedly into jm’s and nj’s arms.

jk’s parents arrive next week. he’s nervous about it which seems stupid, but he is.

things with nj and jm have felt tentative, careful, since they went to nj’s mother’s house and jk hasn’t event told his parents about nj. or about jm.

so he keeps biting his lip, as he’s waiting for their train to arrive.

binna is dancing circles around him, excited to see her grandparents after so long.

they wait a while, watching people come out of the train, before jk catches sight of his parents.

they’re rolling a small suitcase each, and looking much the same as jk remembers.

binna runs up to them and they lean down to hug her and shower her with kisses. jk smiles and walks up to them. he grabs the suitcases from them.

“oh, you don’t have to do that,” his mother says.

“we can carry our own stuff.” she stands up and smiles, enveloping jk in a hug.

“it’s all good, you can hold binna’s hand instead,” he says, smiling back.

his father hugs him too. “she’s gotten so big,” he says. “you should visit us more often.”

“i’ll try,” jk says. “it’s just difficult because of work, appa.”

“take some work home!” he says, and as they walk out of the station to get a cab, he tells them about the recent restorations he’s done back at the house.

binna tells jk’s mother about their apartment and about school and ballet.

for a mortifying second, jk thinks she will mention jm or nj, but she doesn’t.

they leave their suitcases at their hotel, a really ostentatious one. jk is embarrassed to even just walk in.

his parents are really pleased with it, though. and they look proud at jk for booking it. jk feels a pang of guilt at keeping the truth from them, but lets them have it.

once that’s done,

they go down across the street to eat dinner at a restaurant that’s also a lot out of budget for jk. he doesn’t mention it.

“maybe binna can stay with us tonight,” his mother is saying.

“yes!” she yelps, bouncing on her chair.

“ah, i’d have to get an overnight bag for her,” jk says, hesitant.

“is your apartment far from here?” his father asks.

“a little, yeah,” he says. which actually means a lot.

they’re in an expensive neighborhood.

“but, um, hs doesn’t live far from here,” he says. which really means nj doesn’t live far from here. “i keep some of binna’s stuff there. i can get it.”

jk tries not to, but he blushes, thinking about getting binna’s stuff from nj’s,

then going back and spending the night there.

binna yelps again and claps. jk’s mother gives him a way too curious look.

later, when they’ve eaten, binna drags jk’s father to the little playground area outside of the restaurant and jk stays back with his mother.

“so you’re seeing someone?” she asks.

jk almost chokes on his coffee. “what.”

she chuckles. “i know you,” she says. “you’ve sounded happy over the phone when we’ve talked. plus you’re wearing makeup.”

jk blushes. “ahh, mom, that has nothing to do with it,” jk mutters,

although he’s not entirely certain that’s true.

his mother hums. “okay,” she says. “you know, i wouldn’t judge if it were your good friend. he’s really nice and he really cares for binna, i think—”

“wait, who?”

“hs,” she says.

“mom! he’s married!” he croaks.

“oh, i know that but those rich people’s marriages are funny like that sometimes,” she says.

“mom, it’s not— it’s just an average, good and healthy marriage,” he says, still blinking. “what are you even talking about?”

“aish, i don’t know,” she says.

“i’m trying to be supportive.”

jk swallows. “yeah? you’d be supportive if i was seeing a mated alpha?”

“well, when you put it that way.”

jk laughs, a little awkwardly, thinking just how close reality came to him seeing a married man. “well, i- i’m not.”

“okay, good!” she says. “but you are seeing someone?”

jk blushes and looks down, stirring the little spoon into his coffee for a bit. “um, not exactly,” he says. “i actually wanted to talk to you about that. i mean. about sort of that. i didn’t know how to do it over the phone.”

she frowns. “jk, now you’re scaring me.”

he chokes out a laugh. “no, no. it’s nothing bad,” he says. “i just don’t want you to be disappointed, i guess.”

“oh, honey, why would i be disappointed? i’d be happy for you. i’d be glad if you’re letting yourself date again.

you’re so young and so pretty.”

jk smiles. “right. well, i’m not seeing anyone like that,” he says, lying through his teeth. “but there is someone who—”

“appa!” binna comes yelling, then. “my hands are cold!”

she shoves her tiny hand into his face.

it’s cold and a little red.

“she lost her glove,” jk’s father says, walking in behind her.

“aish, binna, why did you take it off?” jk asks, already rummaging in her bag to get another pair he packed.

later, jk walks them back across the street to their hotel.

“i’ll get binna’s things and bring them back,” jk is saying.

his father nods. “binna, honey, can you go inside, find something nice to watch on the television?” he asks, sliding his key card into the lock.

binna nods, already running inside and jumping on the bed. jk’s father closes the door behind her and turns to look at jk, his eyes serious.

“what?” jk asks.

“binna said something to me,” his father starts, gravely. “she mentioned she’s been hanging out with a nj.”

his mother gasps.

jk groans. “i tried to tell you earlier, before this could happen,” he says.

“is that who you’re seeing? is it the same nj?” his mother asks.

“mom, i told you i’m not seeing anyone,” jk hurries to say. “i mean, n-not like that, at least.”

“what does that mean?” his father asks.

“it’s a long story,” jk says. “i’ll tell you all of it later, but the gist of it is that, yes. nj is in her life.” his mother opens her mouth. “yes, that nj. her father nj.”

they stare at jk with mirror worried glances.

jk laughs. “don’t look so mortified,” he says. “it’s fine. it’s all good between us. he’s a good father to her. only that, ah, she doesn’t know he’s her dad yet, so please don’t tell her.”

“what about the dance teacher?” jk’s father asks. “she mentioned a dance teacher.”

jk wills himself not to blush. he’s not very successful. “that’s nj’s partner. that’s how we got in touch again,” he says. “his name is jm. he’s a good person. we’re friends.”

they still stare at jk. perhaps even more worried now.

“mom, dad,” he says.

“i promise you, it’s good. binna likes them and she’s happy.”

“and you?” his mother asks.

“me? i, ah. i’m good, yeah.”

“oh, honey,” his mother says, reaching out to cup his cheek.

“mom, i’m fine. i promise you, i’m really, really, fine,” he says, taking a step back.

“now let me just go get binna’s things, yeah? i’ll be back in less than an hour.”

his parents share a look, then turn to him again. they don’t look too convinced but nod, and let him go.

once jk has dropped binna’s bag and said goodbye, he goes back to jm and nj.

jm lets him climb into the living room couch and settle into his arms. “poor, jk-ie,” he coos. “you’ve been going back and forth all day.”

jk grunts in response.

“do you want a cup of tea?” nj asks.

jk scrunches his nose.

“aish he doesn’t like tea,” jm says.

nj sits on the other end of the couch. “okay so how’d it go?”

jk does a half a shrug. “i just told them we’re back in touch. and that you and jm are together. they freaked out a little. but they’re just protective.”

“i remember,” nj says.

“they’ll be okay with you coming over for christmas, though.”

nj and jm usually just spend the day together as a couple. so jk invited them both, so they could be with him and binna.

“just tell us what to bring,” jm says.

“just whatever, my mom is cooking,” he says.

jm pouts. “that’s no help.”

jk laughs. “sorry. i can’t think right now. ‘m tired.”

jm coos at him again. “wanna go to bed, baby?”

jk hums, ignoring the familiar chill at the pet name coming from jm. “i can spend the night?” he asks.

he hasn’t stayed since that night they went to nj’s mother’s house. jk feels hesitant.

“of course,” nj says quickly. “why couldn’t you?”

jk shrugs. “i don’t know.”

jm hums leaning down, presses a kiss to jk’s cheekbone. “i wish you could stay every night,” he says softly.

“i can’t wait to show you what we have been working on.”

jk lifts his head at that, frowning.

“jm! you’ll spoil it,” nj whines

“spoil what?”

“it’s a surprise,” jm says. “c’mon let’s go to bed.”

jk huffs. “i’m not tired anymore. really, talking about a surprise” jk says.

“want me to eat you out? you’re always sleepy after getting off,” jm says.

nj chokes out a surprised laugh. jk blushes.

“hyung, you’re so blunt.”

jm grins. “you like it,” he says.

and jk can’t even lie, he does.

jm does eat him out. nj watches and jerks off.

then they all cuddle up to sleep. jk in the middle, both jm and nj curled up around him, their bodies touching everywhere.

it’s jk’s favorite position to fall asleep in. he feels so safe. so comforted, when it’s him in the middle.

he feels so much love for them.

he also wishes he could stay every night.


christmas comes and jk, again, is nervous.

“what are you gnawing on your lip for?” his father asks from where he’s sitting on the kitchen floor, fixing the leak under jk’s sink.

he made jk wake up at six in the morning to help him get it fixed.

jk releases his lip. “nothing,” he says.

his father clicks his tongue. “you’ve been distracted,” he says. “what’s going on?”

“nothing,” he says again.

jk’s father raises an eyebrow at him. “you’re worse than when you were a teen.”

jk blushes and laughs. “no, i mean. it’s, ah. just work.”

jk’s father snorts. “yeah, right. work,” he mocks.

jm and nj arrive when jk is still fussing in the kitchen with his mother. his father and binna somewhere in the living room playing a board game.

jk jumps when he hears the buzzer. he gets a weird look from his mother.

he makes sure to be there to get the door and let them in.

jm is holding some sort of dessert and nj has a bottle of wine and a stuffed stingray with a yellow bow on it. they agreed no presents but jk will let it slide for now.

binna perks up when she sees them come in, leaving the game and jk’s father forgotten. ,

“is that for me?”

nj smiles. “yeah,” he says.

her eyes sparkle and she’s already making grabby hands at nj. nj smiles wider and hands her the stingray.

she takes it and immediately starts heading to her room.

“binna, say thank you,” jk says. “and you didn’t even say hi to jm.”

she turns back pouting. “thank you, nj-ssi. hi, jm-ssi.”

“hi, binna-yah,” jm says. “you look lovely today.”

she giggles and twirls in her frilly dress for him just as jk’s father is walking up behind jk. he clears his throat.

immediately, nj bows.

“sir. h-hello. thank so much for having us.”

“nj-ssi,” jk’s father says as greeting. “and…”

“park jm, sir,” jm says, bowing too. “it’s so nice to meet you.”

jk’s father takes a long look at him, then nods. “yes, nice to meet you,” he says. “is that cake? you can leave it in the kitchen, come in.”

jm smiles and politely follows him into the kitchen as if he hasn’t been in this apartment hundreds of times.

nj offers jk a sheepish smile once they’re alone. “hi,” he says.

and jk does feel like a teenager because he can’t help but smile and blush. “hi.”

“you look good,” nj says.

jk looks down at himself, the jeans and plain sweater he’s wearing. he grins wider.

“i’m not even wearing makeup,” he says. “my mom thinks i wear it to impress the someone i’m dating.”

“and you don’t?”

jk tries to fight another grin. “no,” he says pointedly. “i wear it because i like it.”

“fair,” nj says, also fighting a smile.

“you look very nice either way,” he says quieter. “just by the way.”

“shut up,” jk says. nj chuckles.

then, his parents and jm are walking outside of the kitchen, bring the food with them to set it on the table.

“oh, i just put it all in the blender and then baked it in a pan,” jm is saying sheepishly.

nj clears his throat. “it’s pretty good, though,” he chirps in. they all turn to him.

“ah, thanks, yeobo,” jm says.

“it’s the only thing i really know how to bake,” he tells jk’s parents. “i do hope you like it.”

“you /cooked/?” jk asks, incredulous.

jm laughs. “hey, i can cook some things. don’t act so shocked.”

“jk wasn’t much of a cook before he had binna,” his mother chirps in. “you’ll get there,” she says politely.

jm smiles at her. “thank you.”

“but you’re not married are you?” jk’s father asks.

“dad, don’t pry,” jk tries to say.

“oh, it’s okay,” jm says, smile still plastered on his face. “we’re not.”

jk’s mother plasters on a smile of her own. “you’ll get there too, you’re young,” she says. “shall we eat? where’s binna?”

“in her room,” jk says. “binna! we’re eating!”

dinner is nice. it’s a little awkward at first, but then jk’s mother starts telling stories of when jk was binna’s age, to jk’s dismay, but to the enjoyment of everyone else.

jm keeps giggling and giggling.

“ah, jk-ie. that’s so cute. you haven’t even changed.”

“he really hasn’t,” jk’s father agrees.

jk’s mother is watching him and jm studiously. it makes jk nervous. “so how was it that this came about?” she asks. “you’re binna’s teacher.”

jm nods.

“oh, yes! my best friend, th-ie, lives across the hall. he recommended my classes to jk.”

“and how did you find out?” she asks nj.

nj clears his throat. “we, ah, ran into each other a the grocery store and we sort of went from there.”

“and you don’t have other kids, nj-ssi?”

“no, not at all,” nj says quickly. “i’ve only dated jm after jk.”

“how long have you two been together?” jk’s mother asks.

“mom, please,” jk says.

she raises her hands in surrender. “sorry. i’m just genuinely curious.”

“it’s okay,” jm says.

“we’ve been together for almost three years.”

jk’s mother nods. “and, forgive me for asking, but i have to, for my peace of mind. i am a mother.”

jk smiles. “don’t worry about it.”

“you don’t mind? that your partner has a child already?”

jm blinks at her.

“oh no, it’s never even occurred to me to mind. i really care about binna and about jk, so.”

“can we please not talk about this now?” jk asks, gesturing at binna, who’s busy eating and pretending to feed her stingray.

“sorry,” his mother says. “i was just being nosy.”

they finish eating and then jm is bringing out the cake he baked and it really is fukcing good. so much, his mother is asking for the recipe again. she even types it out on her phone, which makes jm giggle.
binna drags jk’s father and nj to the living room carpet to continue playing her board game.

jk from the table still, can hear nj and his father talk about furniture and wood and shit, while they entertain binna’s silliest questions about it.

jk watches and tries to not get lost in how domestic and right it feels.

jk’s mother catches him watching and he blushes, then rolls his eyes at himself.

“jk-ah, you barely ate any dessert,” jm pouts.

“aish, he’s trying to watch what he eats, and he’s so skinny, really,” his mother says.

jm chuckles. “it’s okay. i won’t make you eat more, jk-ah.”

jk rolls his eyes. he can’t help but smile, though. “no, here, i’ll have another slice.”

jm beams and lets jm serve him more dessert. his mother’s eyes on them feel heavy and piercing on them. and fuck, jk was an idiot for thinking he could hide anything from her.
they all go out for a walk after that because binna wants to play in the snow and everyone is more than eager to indulge her.

it makes jk snicker out loud, how whipped they all are for his daughter, but really it makes him feel all fluttery inside.

his omega is so pleased.

it keeps insisting that this is what a family feels like. and jk wants to listen to it, but he needs to be careful. still careful.

when binna tires out, they take her back to the apartment. she lets nj pick her up, even.

she’s so sleepy she wraps her arms around his neck and nuzzles his chest to doze off. nj’s chin quivers with the effort of not bursting into tears in front of jk’s parents and jk and jm laugh at how cute it is.
jk watches as nj carefully sets her down on her bed and all he can think of is how in love he is. how unreal it feels after all this time.

“hey,” jk says quietly when nj straightens up. “i love you.”

nj smiles, checks that the door is still mostly closed and leans in to kiss jk

“i love you,” he says against jk’s lips.

when they come back out, jk’s mother is showing her phone to jm and jm is smiling down at it.

“mom, what are you doing?”

“i’m showing him pictures of you and newborn binna.”

jm looks up. “they’re so sweet, jk-ah.”

“nj-ssi, do you want to see? since you, well. since you weren’t there.” it’s not malicious, but genuine. like she actually needs to fill nj in.

nj smile and nods, sitting down on her other side.

“this one time she barfed all over jk and the photos he’d just developed of her.”

“don’t show them that, mom,” jk says, ducking his head. she waves him off.

they chat there for a while, then jm and nj offer to drive jk’s parents to their hotel.

jk wishes he could take binna and go home with them. but he doesn’t say anything. just lets them all leave.

the next day he’s up early because him and binna are having breakfast with his parents before they have to catch their train back.

they meet them somewhere near their hotel and once they’ve eaten, jk’s mother makes her husband take binna down the road to get hotteok,

while she and jk stay at the table.

after they leave, jk watches her expectantly, bracing himself.

but she just sighs, gets the waiter to bring her more coffee.

“mom,” jk whines. “just get it over with.”

she waits until her cup has been refilled and looks at him.

“jk-ah, do you really thing this is healthy?”

“what thing?”

“you being so close to him a-and his partner,” she says. “i don’t want you to get hurt again.”

“it’s fine, mom.”

“i don’t think it’s fine, jk,” she says, the worry so heavy in her tone.

“the way you are with them, so comfortable, i don’t know if i like it.”

“comfortable,” jk repeats.

“yes, you know what i mean,” she says, purses her mouth, then whispers, “d-do you have feelings for him?”


she opens her mouth, then closes it. “i don’t know. either one, i guess. i can’t even tell.”

“it’s fine, mom,” he repeats.

she huffs. “you should try dating, though. if not your friend, the, ah—”

“the /married/ one?”

she nods. “if not him, someone else. i worry about you, jk-ah. i don’t like thinking of you and binna all alone here.”

“we’re not alone,” he says. “and i don’t need to date. i don’t need to have an alpha at home. i have been taking care of ourselves perfectly fine, mom.

why can’t you just be proud of that?”

“oh, honey, i am!” she yelps. “i really, am. aish, i just worry.”

“please don’t,” he says. “we’re not alone. you saw nj. he’s a good dad.”

“yes, but i don’t want you to hang around him too much. get your heart broken again,” she says. “you know they’ll probably get married and—”

“mom,” he cuts her off. not needing to hear it.

she’s actually so close to the very thing jk is afraid of. and he doesn’t need to hear it. he sighs. “i am seeing both of them.”

she blinks at him. “what do you mean?”

“i’m— shit,” he fidgets with his knit hat and pulls it down to cover his eyes a bit.

“i’m sleeping with both of them, okay? we’re i-in a relationship. and we’re fine.”

she stares.

jk huffs out a laugh. “you were gonna be supportive of me dating a married man, please remember that.”

“b- but this is different,” she yelps.

jk hums. “what, they have to get married first so you can be okay with it?”

“no! it’s not the marriage part, it’s the— how can you— with two people, jk?”

jk blushes and pushes his hat away to stare. “are you asking, like, about sex?”

she smacks him on the arm. “no! i am just saying, how can you— how does it work? do you have feelings for the two of them?”

“i— yeah. i do.”

she shakes her head. “it can’t work, jk-ah. you can’t love two people the same way at once.

it will always be a competition. none of you deserve that.”

“it’s not,” jk says. “it doesn’t feel like a competition. and i do love them. both of them. maybe not in the same way, but i love one as much as i love the other and it doesn’t feel unnatural or like a stretch.

it just feels like i have enough love for both.”

her eyes go soft at that. “you do. you have so much love inside you. that’s why i worry. i feel like you give it away so freely sometimes.”

jk licks his lip, shakes his head.

“i haven’t. not in so long, mom. i’ve kept it in. it feels good to have someone to love now. two of them,” he says. “and i get how that would worry you, and you’re right, it’s not perfect all the time, but i feel safe with them.”
“oh, jk-ah,” she says, knocking the heel of her hand on her forehead in distress.

jk laughs, reaches out to take her hand in his. “just, please, trust me?”

she looks at him and hesitates, and finally sighs. “oh, okay.”

jk smiles, kisses her hand. “it’ll be okay.”

she sighs again. “and if it’s not, just come home, okay? i’ll be there for you.”

jk looks down, releases her hand. “yeah, okay. thanks for the vote of confidence.”

“i’m just saying,” she says. “i’ll be there for you, no matter what.”

jk pushes for a smile, thinking back of nj and his own mother. “thank you, mom. really.”

she smiles and takes his hand back in hers. “i love you. please look after yourself.”

he nods. “i will,” he says. “ah, please don’t tell that dad yet?”

she hums. “i won’t, don’t worry.”

they see his parents off after that, then go back home. they find sj on his way out. he smiles at them.

“hi jk-ah, miss binna.”

“hi! where’s the pup?” she asks.

“inside. asleep.”

“can we see him?”

“sure! you can keep him company while i’m gone.”

“you have to work today?” jk asks.

sj nods. “yes, unfortunately. but do go inside. th would love the company.”

binna walks directly to the crib to coo at the pup. jk lets th pull him down in bed with him. lets him nuzzle his neck.

“you smell weird,” he says.

“it’s just my parents scents,” he explains.

“ah, how did it go?”

“pretty good, actually.”

th smiles. “i’m glad.”

jk nods, lets the silence drag on for a bit, then, “do you think it’s possible to love two people at the same time?”

th gives him a long look. he smiles. “fallen in love have you?”

jk bites his lip and turns to face him. th laughs.

“i think it’s possible,” he whispers close to jk’s ear. “i think it’s possible for you to be happy together. don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.”

jk swallows and smiles. “thank you, i think i needed to hear that. even if you’re just saying it.”

th laughs again. “i’m not. i believe it, wholeheartedly. you should believe it too. you should tell them how you feel.”

“it’s scary.”

“i know. but you’ll be okay.”

“okay,” jk says, curling up to th’s side and closes his eyes, willing himself to believe.


the paperwork isn’t as bad as jk expects it to be.

it’s quite simple, actually, nj explains. all nj has to do is assume binna’s paternity. sign some shit.

jk is very sure of it, excited even, for a whole few days, but then it all dawns on him.

how fucking huge it feels. how rushed. and for what?

“he doesn’t have to be recognized as the father for binna to get her passport,” hs, who’s acting as their legal advisor, tells him. “there’s no need to rush this.”

“yeah, but it makes sense, doesn’t it? for him to be in her birth certificate if, well, if he’s her father.”

hs hums. “sure. but you seem hesitant about it.”

“i’m just. nervous? i don’t know why,” he says. and he means it, he can’t pinpoint it.

nj must notice this, the day he’s supposed to sign on it, when they’re outside the office with all their paperwork.

“jk, baby,” nj says. “it’s okay, we don’t have to do it this way or do it right now.”

jk bites his lip and looks at nj. “i- i don’t know.”

“we can just do the passport,” nj says. “that’s all we need right now.”

jk nods, thinks about it. “it just feels dishonest,” he mutters.

and that’s it.

“dishonest?” nj asks.

“binna… doesn’t even know.”

nj gives him a long look. “you want to ask for her permission? she’s six, jk.”

“n-not ask. just, tell her,” jk huffs. “y’know. /by the way, uh, nj is your father and he will be legally recognized as such now/,” he says.

“i don’t know. i never thought this far ahead, i guess. i have no idea how am i supposed to have that conversation.”

“you don’t have to have it right now, jk,” nj says. “it’s just a piece of paper. it will not make any difference to binna.”

jk bites his lip, hesitates.

nj nods. “okay. it’s okay, we’ll figure it out. we won’t rush this. it’s just a piece of paper,” he repeats. “we don’t need it.”

jk sighs, relieved. “okay. sorry i made you do all this and come all the way here,” he mutters.

nj smiles, reassuringly. “don’t worry about it. it’s okay. it’s all good,” he says, then leans in to kiss jk.

jk hums into it, pleased. it’s so easy to get lost into it. always so easy to get lost in the way nj kisses him. so firmly, so thoroughly.

then jm clears his throat. “okay, uh. you have an appointment,” he says. “you have to cancel or reschedule or whatever.”

jk and nj turn to look at him. he’s pushing himself off the wall where he was leaning against. he looks mildly annoyed.

nj checks his watch. “i think it’s a bit late to cancel. and i wouldn’t want to reschedule and have you feel pressured,” he says, turning to jk.

jk nods.

jm huffs. “okay, fine. so what, we leave?”

“yeah, i’m really sorry, hyung.”

jm sighs. “it’s no problem, jk-ah. i don’t think you should rush it, either. let’s just go home, yeah?”

so they get back into the car, jm at the wheel. it was quite the drive up to the office,

and jk does feel bad at having them make the trip just for him to get cold feet in the end.

jm barely even talks the whole drive back while nj and jk discuss the passport process and how they should tell binna that nj is her father, all without spoiling the surprise.


as it turns out, jk doesn’t even get to start the conversation with binna.

they’re preparing for bed one night when binna asks.

“are jm and nj mates?”

jk almost chokes on his own spit. “h-honey?”

“are jm and nj mated?” she asks again, more pointedly.

jk swallows. “they are, ah. they’re together. not mated yet.”

binna frowns in thought. “can they have pups if they’re not mated?”

jk gapes. racks his brain for something to say. “well. t-they love each other. so yes, they can. i-if they want to.”

binna’s frown dips lower.

“binna, honey, why are you asking?”

she takes a deep sigh. “halmeoni said they could have a pup coming.

“what?” jk shrieks. oh, jk will have words with his mother.

she nods. “it’d be nice,” she says. “i’m good at taking care of pups.”

jk nod quickly. “yes you are, baby.”

“but how does it work? when they’re not mated?”

jk’s eyes go wide. “what?”

she shrugs. “our teacher has a pup in her tummy. she’s mated, like th-ie and sj-ie. and she told us pups are gifts for good mated grown ups,” she says.

“but you’re not mated and you had me. i told her she was wrong but she didn’t believe me.”

jk stares, alarmed. “she— what did she tell you? what did she do?”

she shrugs again. “put me in time out.”

“what? binna, when was this?”


jk feels furious but he tries not to react, not to scare binna. she’s already looking at him like he might scold her. he releases a single breath.

“binna, she— you— you didn’t do anything wrong, okay? pups can be gifts for people who are not mated too.”

“i know,” she says. “i was your gift. right?” she seems hesitant and jk hates it.

“yes,” he says firmly. “yes, of course, you are,” he says, quickly, kissing her head.

“i’ll talk to your teacher, okay? everything is okay.”

“i know,” she says again. “we get put in time out all the time. it’s no biggie.”

jk stares, doesn’t even know what to do with that. “how often do you get put in time out?” he asks.

binna shrugs. “i don’t know.”

she climbs into bed then. jk swallows, lets it go for now. he tucks her into bed and he thinks that’s the end of it for tonight, but binna still looks up at him. “but how does it work?”

“how does what work, honey?”

“where does the gift come from?”

and jk feels the blood drain from his face. “ah, you mean pups?”

she nods.

jk swallows. nods too, his mind racing in fucking circles. he can’t help the nervous little laugh he lets out. “well,” he says.

and fuck, he wishes nj was here, as he fumbles for words.

“i know they grow in your belly,” she prompts. “but /how/?”

jk nods. “well, t-the alpha, um, puts it there,” he says, and immediately winces.

“but you don’t have an alpha,” she says.

“you’re not mated. how did it happen?”

shit. shit. shit. “well, i- i had an alpha. once. we weren’t mated, b-but we loved each other, so he put a pup in my belly—”


“yes, you.”

“and what happened to the alpha?”

jk swallows. “he had to go for a while”

“go where?”

“away,” jk says quietly.

“okay and how do they do it? put the pup in.”

jk tries not to wince. forces himself to smile, and goes about it as calmly and simply and straightforward as he can.

eventually, binna is satisfied with his subpar biology lesson and is yawning often enough that jk only has to sing a few verses for her before she’s falling asleep.

then he calls nj.

“mm, jk-ah?” his mumble comes tinny through the phone.

“ah, sorry. did i wake you?” he asks leaning to look at the kitchen clock.

“no, no,” he says, a little more firmly. “i was just reading. is everything okay?”

“yes, yeah,” he says. “it’s nothing. we can talk later, tomorrow, when—”

“sweetheart,” nj says, gently. “what is it?”

jk sighs, dropping on the couch. “binna asked me, uh, about pups. where they come from,” he explains. “her teacher is pupped and she did a pretty piss poor job of explaining it to them. saying only happily mated couples can have babies and she put binna in time out when she—”
“what?” nj croaks.

“yeah,” jk says. “it’s fucking bullshit. i’ll go to the school tomorrow.”

“yes,” nj agrees. “tell them they can fuck all the way off,” he scoffs. “teaching children such archaic fucking crap. d-do you want me to come with you?”

jk feels himself smile. “i’ts okay,” he says. “they were such assholes about me being a single parent when i enrolled her. i wouldn’t want to prove their point by showing up with an alpha.”

“bullshit,” nj says. “maybe we can look into different schools, i—”

jk can hear jm in the background, then. nj, giving him a quick recap of their conversation, jm’s indignant cursing at it. jk chuckles.

“sorry, it’s just jm.”

jk hums. “tell him hi.”

nj does. “he sayas hi back. he misses you.”

“miss him too. miss you.”

there’s a pause.

then nj clears his throat. “well, like i was telling you, we can maybe look into other schools.”

“this one’s closest to work, though,” jk says. “it’s easy for pick up.”

jm’s voice again. jk can’t make out what he’s saying, but nj repeats what jk just said out loud.

“jm says he can pick binna up or we can arrange something else.”

jk hesitates. “we’ll see.”

“okay, okay. no pressure,” nj says. “what did you tell binna, anyway?”

jk sighs. “she asked how single omegas get pups. i told her i had an alpha. before. and i explained it to her.

or tried to. i was awkward about it, which is stupid. it’s just like, biology, right? but yeah. i wish you’d been here.”

“oh, baby.” nj says. “it’s—”

jm’s voice again. but this time, nj cuts him short. “darling, we’re trying to have an important conversation about binna.

give me a second?”

jk can hear jm scoffing.

“sorry,” nj says.

“oh, it’s okay,” jk says. “i don’t mind him being in the conversation, really.”

“i know,” nj says. “it’s just— we’re on the /phone/.”


“so you didn’t tell binna? that it’s me?”

“no,” jk says. “thought you should be there when i do.”

“thank you for that.”

jk smiles at the raw sincerity in his voice. “yeah. of course,” he says. “maybe we can do it tomorrow? afters school.”

“yeah,” nj says immediately.

“i’ll clear my afternoon. are you sure you don’t want me to come to the school—”

“yes, hyung,” jk says, smiling wider. “let me take care of it.”

“okay, okay,” he says. “i’ll see yo tomorrow, then.”

jk hums. “goodnight, i love you.”

“i love you,” nj says quieter.

“put me on speaker,” jk says.

nj chuckles. “okay, you’re on speaker.”


“jk-ah,” jm says, voice coming closer.

“goodnight, hyung,” jk says, biting his lip. he can hear jm’s little amused intake of breath.

“goodnight, baby,” he mewls.

“don’t let the kindergartner teacher intimidate you.”

“i won’t,” jk says.

then there’s a few kissing noises right up to the speaker which makes jk giggle.

he’s still smiling when he hangs up.

and then the quiet of the room pierces through him. consumes him. his smile drops.

he tries really hard not to. not to think of what jm and nj do when jk is here, alone. jk never asks. doesn’t want to invade something that they might potentially be holding private.

but sometimes he just wonders.

just thinks about how easy it would be for nj to hang up the call and turn over to jm on their bed, pull jm to him, kiss him.

jk closes his eyes, rubs his face with his hands, hoping to rub the intrusive thoughts away, then gets off the couch and walks back to his room.

the next day at the school, when jk picks binna up, he waits around for her teacher.

she’s really young. must be around jk’s age when he had binna. she must still be in her first trimester because she’s not showing much yet.

he plasters on a polite smile, when she turns around to look at him.

“jk-ssi,” she says, smiling back. “i saw the note you sent in binna’s backpack. i can talk, just give me a few minutes?”

jk nods. “sure.”

jk watches a few more minutes while she says goodbye to the last kid, then she smiles at him and invites him to sit down at her desk.

jk looks back at binna, she’s on the other side of the room, busy building a race track with blocks on the floor.

“so what’s up?” she asks when jk turns back to face her.

jk clears his throat. “binna told me you put her in time out yesterday,” he starts. “for disagreeing with what you were saying. about mated couples and pups.”

her smile fades. “oh, yes,” she says. “i do realize that yours and binna’s situation is, well, different than most. and how when i explained my personal situation, binna might’ve felt excluded or confused. i do apologize for that but—”
“excluded? confused?” he splutters. “you implied to her that she wasn’t wanted. that she wasn’t a-a gift, the way you put it. i really don’t appreciate that. and i don’t appreciate you putting her in time out for calling you out on it, i—”
“it was the way she did it, jk-ssi,” she cuts him off. she sighs. “binna is a good kid. she’s very smart and kind to her classmates. but sometimes, she tends to get, ah, how can i put it?”

jk quirks an eyebrow at her. “just say whatever it is you want to say,” he grits.

“she’s too confident. too mature for her age. and she likes being right a lot of the time,” she says. “she likes getting her way, won’t take no for an answer. in our classroom we encourage open discussion and everyone’s voices—”
“what exactly is wrong with her being confident and mature?,” jk cuts her off. “she /will/ take a no if you are reasonable with her instead of treating her like she’s not able to understand things. that’s the way we treat her at home, that’s why she’s the way she is,” he says.
“and she /was/ right, by the way. you told all those kids that only mated couples get to have babies—”

“no, i told them /i/ was mated and so i was granted this gift.”

jk scoffs. “and that’s your personal experience and that’s great but it’s not necessarily everyone else’s and the way you expressed it doesn’t allow much room for discussion, does it? if you had to put my daughter in time out for telling you about /her/ personal experience.”
she purses her lip. “again, jk-ssi, i apologize if my wording was not inclusive enough for everyone’s liking, but there is a way and a time and place to express ourselves and the way binna did was not it. she confused some of the other kids. she does that constantly.
and i usually let it slide, but this is a sensitive topic and i don’t want other parents complaining about how their kids are getting mixed information.”

“that was not binna’s doing,” jk insists, practically shaking with anger now.

she sighs. “most of our kids come from traditional alpha-omega mated households, jk-ssi. as it is the case for mostly everyone else. when binna comes in here boasting about how different she is, it’s confusing for other children—”
“excuse me? my daughter is no different than any other kid in this class,” jk snaps. “you are making a little kid feel alienated, just because her family does not look like yours. putting her in time out?”
he turns to look at binna, she’s not minding them. he leans in closer to the teacher. “that is fucking vile,” he says. “i’d love to hear you explain it to the school when we leave and don’t fucking come back,” he says.

she clears her throat. “please don’t curse in my classroom.”

“fuck off,” he tells her, standing up. “binna, baby, let’s go,” he calls louder.

binna doesn’t look up immediately, too caught up in her game. jk clears his throat, opens his mouth again.

“she’s spoiled, jk-ssi,” he teacher says. “i don’t know the full extent of your situation,

but she’s too used to getting her way and i don’t think it’s healthy.”

jk turns to look at her, jaw clenched, quivering with anger. “we will decide what’s healthy and what’s not at home. just as we will handle personal conversations such as the one you decided to have yesterday.

stay the fuck out of it,” he hisses, then turns away. “binna! i said we’re leaving.”

binna looks up and pouts. “but—”

“now, binna. we’ll be late for lunch, c’mon.”

she heaves and gets up and resignedly walks over to him. “say goodbye to your teacher.”

binna bows and does obediently, and then jk is dragging her out by the hand.

“are we in trouble, appa?” she asks, just as they’re walking through the hallway.

“what? no, not at all, baby,” he says.

“me and your teacher just needed to talk, she’s sorry for putting you in time out.”

“she didn’t look sorry.”

jk sighs. “aish, binna, you’re too smart for me.”

“you’re smart too, appa.”

jk chokes out a laugh in response.

“appa, you’re squeezing my hand too tightly,” she whines.

jk lets go, immediately. “i’m sorry, baby. appa’s sorry,” he says, trying to pick her up, but she refuses, pushing him away.

“i’m not a baby,” she huffs.

jk runs a hand through his hair and sighs.

later, at the restaurant it’s another struggle because binna won’t let him order for her and she takes forever trying to read the menu.

jk is torn between feeling proud at how much she actually manages to grasp from the text and worried about the sudden surge of independence.

nj is late for about fifteen minutes, but by the time he arrives binna finally has decided on the chicken sandwich jk was trying to order for her in the first place.

“sorry i’m late,” nj says. “there was traffic.”

he leans down to press a kiss to jk’s cheek, then sits down across from jk and binna.

“hi, binna,” he says.

binna doesn’t look up from where she’s still trying to read the menu.

“binna,” jk says tiredly. “nj is speaking to you.”

“hi,” binna says without looking up.

nj raises both eyebrows at jk. “what happened?” he mouths.

jk throws a hand up. /i have no fucking clue/.

nj sits there a long moment looking at binna, she’s still refusing to look up.

“how’d it go with the teacher?” he asks jk, voice quiet.

jk sighs and drops his face in his hands. “she called her too confident and said a whole lot of f- of crap. i don’t want binna to go back there.”

“then she won’t,” nj says. “let me take care of it.”

jk looks up at him.

he wonders if the teacher was right. with jm and nj in the picture binna can only get more spoiled.

“let’s talk about it later.”

“okay,” nj says easily.

“where’s jm?”

nj looks down. “he had some things to do. some dentist’s appointment.”

“is he okay?”

nj nods. “have you ordered?”

“yeah,” jk says. “binna, let nj look at the menu,” he says.

binna huffs. “i’m reading it!”

jk sighs, “binna, please, /please/—”

“it’s okay,” nj says quickly. “you can pick something out for me, binna-yah.”

“no,” jk says immediately.

“we all pick out our own food. binna, let nj see the menu.”

binna huffs, and flings the menu at nj.

“binna!” jk scolds. “what is up with you?”

she just crosses her her arms over her chest and looks away.

“binna,” jk repeats.

“jk,” nj cuts in, quietly. “your scent. you’re really stressed out. it’s upsetting her.”

jk closes his mouth. looks at binna, then back at nj. “i- i don’t. i’m sorry,” is all he manages to say before he’s bursting into tears. “i’m sorry,” he babbles again.

nj quickly gets up and slides next to jk on the other side of the table, wraps his arms around him.

“it’s okay,” he says, running a large hand over his back, nuzzling his neck a little. “it’s okay.”

“appa?” jk hears binna ask, her voice breaking into sobs too.

“binna, sweetheart, it’s okay,” nj says. “appa just needs a hug, come here.”

jk looks up just in time to see, nj opening up one arm and binna climbing on his lap to cuddle jk. jk huffs out little sob and hugs binna, then feels nj’s arm wrap around both of them,

making soothing noises, his warm, calm scent enveloping them.

by the time the food arrives, jk has calmed down some and binna is no longer acting up. they dig into their food while nj pretends not to watch them. pretends he’s not expecting them to burst into tears again.

“i’m sorry,” jk says, once they’re in the subway. binna asleep in nj’s arms. “that meeting with the teacher was just so awful and i- i don’t know. i /am/ stressed out,” he says.

“it’s okay, jk,” nj says. “you don’t have to excuse yourself.”

jk lets his head rest against the glass behind him.

“i just worry so much. about her. about us.”

“you can talk to me,” nj says gently.

jk mulls it over. he sighs. “i don’t want her to feel different. because of how she was brought up, or because we’re, y’know. together the way we are,” he says. “and i don’t want her to be spoiled. which feels sort of impossible.”
“did the teacher say she was spoiled?” nj asks, voice climbing up.

jk nods.

“jk, that’s fucking way out of line, we have to take it up to the school board and—”

“okay,” jk says. “but you’re missing the point.”

“what is the point? is she having problems at school?”

jk shakes his head. “she said binna is really smart and kind to the other kids.”

“than what’s her problem? she got put in her fucking place by a six year old?”

jk closes her eyes, shakes his head. “you always just give in to what she wants,” jk says. “i know you want her to like you but that’s not the way to do it.”

“what she wants are perfectly reasonable things to want,” nj whines.

“i’m not bending to irrational whims, jk. don’t let that woman get in your head.”

“you are flying her to japan to watch a humpback whale,” jk says, opening his eyes and glaring at him.

“yes! because it’s within my possibilities and i think it might be a nice and much needed vacation for all of us. not because she demanded it or even asked for it,” he says. “i thought you were okay with the trip.”
jk shakes his head and closes his eyes. “i am. i am and i’m really grateful for it. sorry, i just— i don’t know.”

“you worry.”

“i do.”

there’s a long pause. jk lets the movement of the train lull him. settle his mind a little.

“you don’t have to do it alone,” nj mutters. “let me carry some of the weight. jm, even, if you’ll allow it. we’re here for you.”

jk opens his eyes again and looks at nj. his warm gaze on jk. his loving gaze. jk makes himself smile. “i can try.”

nj smiles back. “that is good enough for me.”

“sorry we couldn’t tell binna about, well. you know.”

“it’s okay,” nj says. “we’ll get the chance. there’s no rush.”

they arrive to jk’s apartment and put binna down for the rest of her nap and nj, really, should just leave but he lingers.

kisses jk goodbye, just a peck. then another one. then it gets heated. it becomes more.

and then they’re fully making out against the wall, nj’s thigh slipping between jk’s legs and jk moans, he /wants/ him. wants nj to take him right here against the wall.

but then he thinks of jm.

thinks of himself alone at night wondering what nj and jm might be getting up to in their nest. and it’s not what jk wants. for any of them.

he wants transparency and honesty and he wants to be with both of them.

wants to come home to both of them.

jk breaks the kiss, drops his forehead against nj’s shoulder. and before he can help himself, he’s crying again.

“baby? what’s wrong?” nj whispers, holding onto jk’s face.

“i- i miss him,” he chokes out. “i miss both of you all the time. i don’t want this, i want,” he sniffles.

“i want more.”

nj looks like he might cry too. “me too,” he says softly. “i- i want everything with you and binna. i— me and jm wanted to have a conversation with you. it’s just that the timing has been a mess. but we’ll have more than enough time, right? during the trip.”

jk bites his lip and makes himself nod. doesn’t tell nj he can’t wait that long. “yeah, okay,” he says.

nj brushes jk’s hair away from his face and kisses his forehead. “how’s the passport coming along?”

“good,” jk croaks.

“we’re going to get her photo taken tomorrow. she should have it by the end of the week.”

nj nods. “good,” he says. “save one of the photos for me?”

jk sniffles and smiles. “i will.”

nj smiles back and kisses him. “i love you, jk.”

“i love you too,” jk whispers.

“look at me, jk,” he says, tilting jk’s face up. jk looks at him. “i know this is not ideal. i know there’s so much we need to work around. but it /will/ work. i’ll make sure it does, okay? i love you. i love you both so much. do you trust me?”
jk nods, he’s still crying. nj wipes the tears away, kisses him. “then trust me, baby. i’ll take care of everything,” he says against jk’s mouth.

and eventually, he leaves.

once again, he leaves jk alone, in the darkness of the apartment he has come to resent.


binna is besides herself to be in an airplane.

they haven’t even taken off and she’s standing on her seat, jumping up and down, fiddling with the screen in front of her.

“binna,” jk calls from across the aisle. “don’t jump. just sit down.”

(cw // alcohol, this update — the okinawa vacation — discusses jm’s alcohol abuse again almost all throughout it!)
she listens to jk and jk sighs, relieved. “don’t let her kick the seat in front of her,” jk tells nj.

nj, who’s sitting next to binna in the aisle seat, smiles at him. “i won’t, it’s okay, jk.”

“here, have a drink,” jm says, pushing his whisky glass towards him,

then immediately calling on a flight attendant for another.

jm already had a few drinks at the waiting lounge’s bar. jk frowns at him. “are you okay? it’s like 10 am, hyung.”

“i just don’t like airplanes,” jm explains, waving his hand.

“but it’s a short flight, it should be okay. hold my hand?” he looks at jk, all but fluttering his eyelashes.

jk laughs. “yeah,” he says, then slips his hand into jm’s.

jm falls asleep within fifteen minutes after the plane takes off. jk doesn’t let go of his hand, though.

across the aisle, binna and nj are pressed against the window.

jk can hear nj talking fast into binna’s ear, about the ocean they’re flying over. binna awed into silence.

jk smiles and settles to nap against jm’s head.


they arrive a little after midday. binna is still jumping up and down across the airport, dragging nj by the hand.

“she didn’t sleep during the flight?” jm asks, voice coarse from sleep and the whiskey.

jk shakes his head.

“she’s excited,” jm says. “it’s so cute.”

nj booked them a car up to motobu, to the hotel where they’ll be staying.

it’s a two hour drive alongside the ocean and binna is restless and excited, watching out for a whale in the horizon for the first thirty minutes, then finally, /finally/, falls asleep.

jm smiles down at her, as he pets her hair. “she really held out, i’m amazed,” he says.

binna barely slept through the night from the excitement, which also kept jk up.

“you should sleep too,” nj tells jk from the front row of the suv.

“i’m fine,” jk says. “i slept most of the plane ride.”

they ride in silence for the next twenty minutes or so. it’s a very empty, hollow silence without binna to fill it.

it’s been a few days since they have been able to hang out just the three of them

and now it feels awkward for some reason.

eventually, jm, breaks it. out of the three of them, he hates silence the most. “so, are we guaranteed to see whales?”

“we better be,” jk says.

nj turns to look at them. “well, no,” he says. “but if we don’t see them one day,

then we can try again the next day. we won’t leave until we see a whale. even if we have to move here.”

jk and jm both grin at that.

“you’re ridiculous,” jm says.

“you know, my ex brother-in-law knows the best guy for whale watching,” the driver pipes in. he speaks korean,

a little butchered but good enough.

still, nj replies in japanese. “yeah? the best?”

the driver hums. “ten out of ten times, guaranteed he’ll find a humpback. i can give you his number.”

“i mean, they’re whales,” jm says. “rather big, aren’t they? how hard can it be to find one?”

the driver, an alpha by the scent of him, quirks an unimpressed eyebrow at jm through the rearview mirror.

jk grins.

“don’t mind my partner,” nj says. “i would love to get his number,” he says, eagerly, still in japanese. “gotta find that whale, y’know? for my daughter.”

“yes, yes. kids love the whole thing,” the driver says, still insisting on speaking korean. “your daughter will be very happy.”

they chat for a bit, speaking in each other’s language instead of their own. it /is/ ridiculous. but it’s so endearing, somehow.

jm agrees by the way he’s giggling. jk laughs too.

eventually, nj turns to them “i’m getting us a whale,” he says, grinning, impossibly wide and dimpled.

jm grins back, just as wide. “yeah?”

nj nods. “yeah,” he says, then leans in to kiss him. jm meets him halfway,

careful to not disturb binna who’s still sleeping with her head on his lap.

jk watches them, a smile tugging at his mouth. it’s a quick kiss.

nj pulls back and turns to jk. “you trust me?”

jk gives in and smiles. “i do,” he says,

and leans in to kiss him too, everything be damned. he thinks he hears the driver yelp in surprise. jk doesn’t really care.
they are dropped off at their hotel in motobu.

nj spends about five minutes saying goodbye to the driver, getting the whale guy’s number, and before the driver leaves, he very unsubtly gestures at both jm and jk and gives nj a loud pat on the back.

jk’s eyes go wide. jm gapes.

“excuse me?” jm yelps, but before he can say anything else, nj is waving the driver off and pushing jm and jk and binna inside.


they settle into the hotel. nj booked a suite with an ocean view, and a balcony and a little private pool. it’s a little insane.

“this is.. a lot, hyung.”

nj shrugs. “it’s nice, though, yeah? binna do you like it?”

“yes!” she says, running towards the glass door.

she tries to pull it open to no avail.

jm laughs and helps her, sliding it open.

jk jumps a little, running behind them. “careful, t-the pool and—”

“i got her,” jm calls, grabbing binna’s hand.

binna walks straight towards the railing to look at the ocean.

“boats!” she yelps. “will we go on one of those?”

nj hums, coming up behind them. “i think our boat will be a little smaller,” nj says. “but it will be a good boat.”

“aaaah,” she says, still watching the ocean and the boats in the distance. mesmerized.

“it looks different than the beaches back home, huh, binna?”

binna nods. “because we’re in japan, appa,” she says.

jk chokes out a laugh. jm giggles.

“it’s warmer, too,” he says. “wanna change out of your coat and go down to the beach, binna?”

binna nods hurriedly.

they change into lighter clothes, but it’s still chilly out, so jk packs a jacket for binna. and one for jm, because /sluts don’t get cold/ he lets them know as he walks out in only a t-shirt and the tiniest pair of shorts jk’s ever seen on a grown man,
but jk has also definitely heard jm complain for ten minutes straight about how fucking cold it is back home, so. a jacket goes in his bag.

nj watches him pack the bag and smiles at him.

they spend the rest of the day walking on the sand. binna and nj chase crabs, while jk and jm follow. jk lets jm slips his hand in his lets jm steal kisses when binna is not watching.

“can i dip my feet in?” binna asks, barely missing jm trying to bruise jk’s lip with his teeth.

“just for a bit, honey,” jk says. the cold wind is starting to blow and he doesn’t want her getting sick.

“the water should be warm,” nj says, helping binna out of her shoes, then leading her in. leaving his own sandals behind.

binna shrieks as soon as her feet touch the water.

nj laughs, “it’s not warm?”

“no!” binna says, but she’s laughing too. they splash around a bit, jk has half a thought to stop binna from getting her clothes wet, but then, jm is leaning in, rubbing his nose on jk’s cheek.

“it’s okay,” he says.

“you brought a change of clothes, she’ll be fine.”

jk hums, lets jm scent him, comfort him. jk gives into the urge to kiss him, slow and loving.

it’s a struggle to get binna out of the water later, even if her teeth are chattering from the cold.

jk wraps her up in a towel and carries her, as they resume their walk.

eventually they find a place to eat dinner and warm up.

“are we looking for whales tomorrow?” binna asks, stuffing her face of nigiri.

“tomorrow we’re going to the aquarium,” nj says.

“but they have whale sharks there.”

binna claps, her mouth too full to comment. she grabs more nigiri and tries to feed nj in the mouth. something she will sometimes do with jk when they’re eating alone together, lazy and comfortable.

nj scrunches his nose. jk snickers.

“he doesn’t eat fish, binna.”

she frowns, then picks the piece of raw fish off and tries to feed him the rice instead. nj laughs and takes it.

“do i also get onigiri?” jm pouts, and binna just nods.

“fish or no fish?”

jm pretends to think about it. “fish.”

binna leans in across the table and feeds him the last onigiri, and jm grins before taking it into his mouth. he then grabs binna’s hand and presses a kiss to her palm.

she giggles. “it tickles.”

jk meets nj’s gaze, he looks as happy as jk feels.

and jk knows they’re thinking the same thing. jk even opens his mouth, he’s about to say it, /binna, the alpha that put you in my belly, that’s nj. he’s your father too and he loves you. we can be happy now/.
but then binna is telling them everything she knows about whale sharks and jm is indulging her, and jk doesn’t know how to breach the conversation.

they walk back to the hotel, halfway through it, binna slows down so jk picks her up and back at their suite,

he puts her down on one of the twin-sized beds in the second room.

back outside, jm is already raiding the mini bar which seems to be pretty well stocked.

so they drink for a bit, slow and lazy, then jm makes nj pull out his bluetooth speaker to put music on.

(cw// implied degradation kink)

while nj is rummaging thorough his suitcase for it, jm slides the balcony door open and walks out gesturing at jk to follow.

as soon as jm steps out, he hisses and wraps his arms around himself.

jk snickers and grabs a sweater someone left on the sofa.

“i thought sluts didn’t get cold,” he says, coming up behind him to drape the sweater around his shoulders.

jm turns to look at him, his eyes shiny and focused. “you’re calling me a slut?”

jk feels himself smile, then bites his lip, trying to keep it at bay.

jm grins. “hey, i’d be willing to try.”

jk smiles, then. “really? you?”

jm purses his lip. “unless you want me to do the calling?”

heat coils at the pit of jk’s stomach. he wets his lip. jm laughs.

“you’re so easy to read,” jm says, stepping closer and circling his arms around jk’s neck, letting the sweater drop to the floor. “you’re so… you. i like it so much,” he whispers against jk’s lips, then he’s kissing him.
“if you wanted me to leave you two alone, you could’ve just said so,” nj says, stepping out into the balcony.

they break the kiss and turn to him. he’s joking, or trying to joke. testing something out.

“don’t go getting jealous,” jm says, leaning down to pick up the sweater.

he puts it on properly now. “you two have been spending so much time together and leaving me behind,” he pouts, walking over to nj to get the speaker from him. “i get jealous, too.”

“you do?” jk asks, can’t tell if they’re still joking around.

“you don’t?” jm asks, grabbing the speaker and curling a hand around nj’s neck, pressing a kiss to his jaw.

jk swallows. “i don’t know if jealous would be the word.”

something flashes across jm’s face, but then he’s smiling again.

“we shouldn’t talk about this when we’re drinking,” he says.

“but can we talk about it? at some point?” jk has to ask.

jm hums, turning away, already hooking his phone to the speaker.

jk’s jaw goes tight. nj slides next to him, leans down to speak against his ear.

“he’s not so good at these types of conversations,” he says. “be patient with him.”

jk wants to argue. hasn’t he been patient enough? but he guesses right now it’s definitely not the time. they’re tired from the trip, they’re drinking, binna is asleep just in the next room.

so jk lets it slide.

lets jm put music on, and drag jk close to him to slow dance, grabbing his face in his hands and kissing him.

nj comes up behind jk, sliding his large hands down to jk’s waist, his breath wet against his nape.

jm breaks the kiss. “kiss him,” he purrs.

so jk turns his head to catch nj’s mouth in his. it’s sloppy and a little desperate.

“it’s so hot,” jm whispers. “the way he kisses you. he doesn’t kiss me like that.”

jk doesn’t entertain that, just lets go of nj and pulls his head down so he can kiss jm.

jk watches and it’s funny, because he thinks nj doesn’t kiss /him/ the way he kisses jm, like they’re mates, like they’ve built a life together.

they trade kisses and sway to the music like that, until jk can feel both of their erections poking him, on the ass, on his thigh.


they all freeze.

binna is standing at the sliding door, rubbing sleep off her eyes.

“honey?” jk says, clearing his throat and squeezing out of nj’s and jm’s hold.

“i don’t want to sleep alone in japan,” she mumbles, pouting up at him.

jm giggles.

“of course not,” he says. “none of us do.”

so that’s how they end up all washed up and in their pajamas on the king-sized bed of the main room.

binna jumps around the bed talking about their aquarium visit the next day until she tires out again and falls asleep in jk’s arms.

nj and jm lean in on either side of him.

“she’s so sweet” jm says. “you made the best baby ever. we should make another one.”

jk chokes on his spit. nj’s eyes go wide.

jm laughs, hiding his face in jk’s neck. he’s drunk, jk can tell, has been drinking since dinner, but still.

nj clears his throat. “why don’t we all go to sleep?”

jm hums. “like you don’t want to,” he mumbles, nuzzling jk’s neck. “knock us both up.”

“shh,” nj coos, wrapping his arms around the three of them, as far as he can reach.

“we’ll talk about all of this tomorrow. it’s been a long day,” he whispers. “tomorrow we will wake up together, and the day will be warmer and we’ll see whales and manta rays and we’ll be together. all day.”
jk hums, buries his nose in binna’s hair, breathing in the soothing smell of her shampoo. and he falls asleep, dreaming of warm beaches and the flying whales that have been making him cry since he was a child.


the aquarium visit takes up most of the day. binna goes completely mad at the largest tank with the whale sharks. she can’t believe her eyes.

jk can’t either. he feels so small. it moves him to tears. jm laughs, endeared by him and kisses his cheek.

jk watches him as he leans his head on jk’s shoulder and he thinks about last night. jm saying he gets jealous, asking if jk does, then refusing to have a conversation about it, then talking about /babies/, and jk doesn’t get him.

wants to take a single look inside his head.

wants to know what this all means for him. sometimes it feels like jm just might love him back, like he wants the same thing jk and nj do.

and then jk is not so sure. it is driving him crazy. and he just needs to let it /out.

they spend another thirty minutes at the gift shop.

jk doesn’t even try to put up a fight when nj nearly buys the whole stuffed animal display for binna.

“we might need a new suitcase,” nj says.

“i think we definitely need a new suitcase,” jm says. “let’s go shopping!” he chirps.

so they go to the nearest shopping center where jk watches nj and jm spend more money than he does in about two whole months. and he doesn’t mention it.

compliments jm as he tries on clothes, lets them splurge on new dresses for binna.

it’s fine. they’re happy. jk is happy to be with them. together, all day. he would have to get used to it, anyway. if they’re gonna be together for real, all the time. /together/.

jk doesn’t even notice the panic climbing until his throat is closing up.

“jk, are you okay?” nj asks.

jk makes himself nod. “i just need to make a- a call. i’ll be right back.”

he walks fast out of the store, looks back to check they’re not following then pulls out his phone.

yg answers on the second ring. “jk-ah?”

“hyung,” jk breathes. “do you think i’m rushing this? because i tend to do. i rushed things with nj the first time. i was in love. and i insisted on leaving school to follow him, move in with him. i didn’t give it a second thought. and i don’t regret it, really.
it was just my life that i was throwing away, but now i have binna to think about. i can’t ruin her life. and i don’t know if i’m really thinking about her best interests or if i’m just that in love again.”

there’s a long pause. “why are you calling /me/?” he asks, genuine.

“because i know you’ll be objective about it. if i call hs or th they’ll just encourage me to follow my heart or whatever bullshit.”

“you think that’s bullshit?”

“no,” jk says. “i-i don’t know. should i?”

another pause.

“jk, i can’t tell you what to do. and yes, i can be objective but nj is also my best friend and his happiness is on the line.”

“be objective then,” jk snaps. “where does it go from here?”

yg doesn’t answer right away. jk can almost hear him thinking.

“it goes to shit, most likely,” he says after a long time. jk’s stomach sinks. “but all of you want to try, don’t you? you won’t be satisfied until you do, so you might as well.”

“what’s the point if it’s just gonna go to shit?”

“the point is that you try.

and if you’re smart enough, and love each other enough, which i believe you do — you’ll learn how to pick up the pieces some day. try it again.”

“that doesn’t sound encouraging,” jk says, wetting his dry lip.

“well, yeah, that’s why you called me, isn’t it?”

jk nods, even though yg can’t see him.

“here’s this,” yg says when jk doesn’t answer. “you either take the risk or die wondering. what do you want binna to learn from it?”

“i want her to always be confident, be brave,” jk says quietly.

a pause. “then be brave,” he says.

“who cares if you’re rushing it? you’ve made up your mind, there’s no turning back from it, just delaying it.”

jk nods again. “thanks,” he says after a while.

yg hums. “are you feeling better?”

“some,” jk answers, truthfully. “i still don’t know what jm wants.”

“then ask,” he says.

jk breathes out a little laugh. “okay.”

yg hums again. “go enjoy your vacation, jk-ah. say hi to everyone from me.”

they go back to the hotel after that. to lounge next to the indoor pool.

nj and binna are discussing their boat trip tomorrow, while jk is trying to stop jm from getting drunk, by bringing him fruit cocktails and shit before he can think of asking for alcohol.

jk doesn’t want it getting in the way of the talk he wants to have.

it all seems to align because, after an hour or so, a woman wearing the hotel’s uniform stops by their lounge chairs. behind her there’s a neat row of children, linked by their hands.

“hi!” she says.

“we’re having arts and crafts today, while the adult yoga class takes place. would your little one like to come?”

they all blink at her. jk turns to binna. “do you want to?”

binna hesitates. she’s shy around other children she doesn’t know.

“the crafts will be displayed in the main hall and submitted to voting,” she says. “there’s a prize.”

“what sort of prize?” jm asks, sitting up, eyes squinting up at the woman.

the woman smiles and points at a giant blue whale stuffed animal hanging above the food bar.

binna gapes.

nj chokes out a laugh. “binna, if you wanted one of those, we could get you one, you don’t have to /compete/,” he says. “art can’t be voted on and—”

“i want that one,” she pouts. “can i, appa?”

jk smiles. “ah, where would you be?” he asks the woman.

“in the meeting room next to the lobby,” she says. “you can pick her up at 6, or we can take her back to your room.”

jk nods. “yeah, okay.”

so binna jumps up and is directed to get in the line. she shyly grabs the kid’s hand when he offers it to her.

“i’ll pick you up, okay, baby?”

binna nods, and then they’re walking away.

“win that whale, binna-yah!” jm calls.

nj scoffs.

“relax,” jm tells him, looking back. he clears his throat. “so, did you want to go to that yoga class?”

jk looks at him, then at nj.

“or we could go back to the room. chill for a bit,” jm chirps, hiding a smile behind his fruit punch glass.

and jk resolves to get them back to the room and talk, he really, really does.

but as soon as they step inside, jm is grabbing him and pressing him against the door to kiss him.

“still want me to call you a slut?” jm asks.

“what,” nj chokes out next to them.

jk grins.

so they fuck.

on one of the twin beds no one is using, and when it gets too impractical, they take it to the large bathtub in the bathroom.

they have at least two hours, so jk asks to be opened up and fucked in the ass, something he doesn’t get to ask often. and it’s so fucking good.

jm stretches him out on his cock first, then he takes nj and jk is reduced to a babbling mess, until he comes, and comes again on their cocks, while jm calls him their good slut and nj is groaning, so aroused, he’s gone non-verbal.

jm is the talker, anyway.

“g-good talk,” jk mumbles against jm’s chest, just after nj’s done coming on his lower back, having managed to pull out just right before he knotted jk’s ass.

jm coos at him. “yeah, you were so good, baby,” he says. “always so good to us.”

nj grunts, from where he’s panting against jk’s shoulder. “where the fuck did that come from?”

“sluts don’t get cold,” jk mutters. jm laughs and tips jk’s chin up to kiss him on the mouth.

they clean up then, and curl up on the sofa.

jk dozing off against jm’s chest, one of his favorite ways to cuddle after sex. nj rubbing moisturizer on his back.

“i wanted to talk to you,” jk mumbles.

jm hums. “it can wait, baby,” he says. “you can rest now.”

jk pouts at him. “hyung, stop doing that.”


“avoiding the conversation,” jk says with a frown.

jm sighs and sits up, careful to not just fling jk off him. “okay, okay. we can talk,” he says, getting up from the couch and heading towards the mini bar.

jk also sits up. “do you have to drink for it?” jk asks quietly.

“no, but i’d like to,” jm says not looking back at them. “i know you’ve been trying to keep me sober, jk-ah, and i appreciate the concern, baby, but i’ve been pouring vodka into those fruit punches all afternoon. i’m sneaky like that.”

“jm,” nj pleads.

jm turns to look at him. “it’s not getting bad again,” he says. “i promised i’d tell you if it was, i’m still keeping that.”

“jm, darling, i just—”

jm shakes his head. “please, don’t look at me like that, nj. we’re on vacation. you know i don’t do this back home.

i’m not even drunk.”

“okay,” jk says, before nj can open his mouth. “we believe you. we’re not trying to ambush you.”

jm hums, pushes for a smile. “right,” he says. “what do you want to talk about?”

jk hesitates, darts a glance at nj. he’s not looking at either of them. he’s just frowning down at his hands.

jk clears his throat. “the other night,” he starts. “you talked about being jealous. you asked me if i get jealous. and i- i wanted to tell you, that i don’t.

n-not really.”

jm’s smile fades some, he looks at jk. “oh. i-i, well, okay,” he says. he turns around and gets a beer from the bar. jm doesn’t really drink beer, but it’s the only thing that’s left.

“i don’t get jealous either, i don’t think. it was just talk,” he says. “i’d ask nj, but of course he doesn’t get jealous. he’s the alpha, he thinks this whole relationship revolves around his knot.”
jk opens his mouth, turns to look at nj. he’s head is still ducked down but his eyes are closed.

“it doesn’t,” jk says.

“of course it doesn’t,” jm and nj say at the same time. they look up at each other.

jk looks between the two of them, lets his first thought slip out, for once. “it’s just this,” he gestures at them. “sometimes i feel like i’m an intruder.
like you share things that have nothing to do with me and i don’t know how to act so i don’t say anything and it just feels awkward.”

“you two share things that have nothing to do with me too, are you kidding? /binna/?” he says.

“and i get it, it’s fine, i don’t pretend to intrude in on that but it does feel awkward and it does feel alienating.”

“that will happen,” nj says, he’s still frowning. “we are three very different people.

there are things that we’re gonna share between all of us or just two of us and that’s fine, as long as we still want to all be with each other. there are things between you two that i can’t hope to get either, but i still want to come home to you both every night.”
there’s a pause. it feels like no one is looking at each other. it’s ridiculous. jk looks up, clears his throat. “i do too,” he says looking at them both. “i-it’s all i want. it scares the hell out of me and i don’t know if it will be right,
but i want to try,” he says. “i don’t mind if you two spend time together away from me. i can respect that. but i do want to share a nest with you.”

jm smiles at the floor, a single tear rolling down his cheek. he sniffles and wipes it away. he looks at nj. “have you told him?”

nj shakes his head.

“show him,” jm mutters.

“what?” jk asks, just as nj pulls his phone out.

“we, ah, wanted to show you in person. it was supposed to be a surprise, a nice one. but, well.” he gives his phone to jk.

jk darts his gaze towards both of them before taking the phone.

it’s a video and when jk hits play there’s jm on the screen standing on the hall of their second level.

/“are you recording?” jm in the video asks.

“yes,” nj replies.

“well, then tell me, what are we standing around here for?”/

“i told you to cut that part,” the real jm says.

“its cute, though,” nj says.

in the video, jm walks over to a door, it’s the door down the hallway of their room. it’s always been closed when jk has been there.

jm opens the door in the video and walks into the room. it’s a kid’s room. a girl’s room. or a /binna/ room, as jm in the video describes.

there’s a white four poster bed, and the walls are painted blue, with water details and and sea creatures. whales painted on.

there’s a white dresser. and a toy chest and a bookshelf filled with ocean books that nj handpicked, video jm explains.

jk doesn’t realize he’s crying until he feels the tear slide down his jaw and into the phone screen.

he wipes it. “sorry. i love it, i—” he sniffles,

gives the phone back, can’t watch more of it or he’ll start bawling like a baby.

nj drops the phone somewhere on the couch and slides closer to him. tries to kiss the tears away, which only makes jk cry harder.

then, he feels jm walk closer and kneel down on jk’s feet, resting his arms on his knees.

“i want it too,” he says. “i want you close all the time,” he says, grabbing jk’s hands in his. he kisses jk’s knuckles.

“there’s another thing i wanted to tell you, though,” he says quietly. “i don’t want to be dishonest, so i’m telling you. but this one— it has to wait,” he says, looking up at jk, his eyes wet again. “please let’s just have the rest of this vacation in peace, it’s all i ask.”
nj slides forward on the couch. “jm, what is it? do you realize how that sounds?”

jm huffs out a laugh. “yeah, and i’m sorry,” he says. “just trust me, okay? it’s not a big deal. i just, ah. want to share it with you.”

nj doesn’t budge.

he’s still staring at jm with his jaw tense. jk gets it, he’s scared too.

“all those doctor visits,” nj starts. “jm, you can’t just leave it at that.”

jm hums. “i’m sorry,” he says. “i just don’t want to think about it right now. i promise i’m not like dying or anything.”

“don’t fucking joke about that, jesus,” nj croaks.

“sorry, sorry,” jm says. “i didn’t meant to get so dramatic, let’s just forget about the whole thing for now,” he says, standing up. “put some music on. celebrate we’re moving in together,” he says. “we are, right?”

they don’t get to answer, because then there’s a knock in the door. and it dawns on jk.

“binna!” he yelps, jumping up to get the door, grabbing a t-shirt from the floor. “get decent,” he hisses at jm and nj. they’re all just wearing underwear.

he opens the door, and finds the arts and crafts lady with binna in tow. “i’m sorry,” he says, immediately. “we lost track of time.”

“it’s okay,” the lady tells him. “she was good. her project will be displayed in the lobby before dinner.”

“thank you so much,” jk says.

“we’ll go check it out.”

the woman smiles, bows and turns to leave.

binna doesn’t look like anything it’s okay.

“i’m sorry, honey,” he tells her.

“you didn’t remember to pick me up,” she huffs, striding in.

“binna, sweetheart, i’m so sorry,” nj says coming up to her,

fully clothed now.

“what were you doing?” she asks.

nj hesitates, rubs a hand at the back of his neck. “we were just talking,” he says. “um.”

binna scoffs and walks further inside.

“how did you do with your project, binna-yah?” jm asks sweetly.

binna shrugs, then climbs onto an armchair. “i don’t think i’ll win,” she says. “there was a girl who could draw real pretty. i’m not good at that stuff.”

“no no,” nj says immediately. “everyone can be good at art. you can’t compete with it, binna. you can’t grade art,” he says,

sitting down next to her. binna already interested in what he’s saying.

jm breathes out a laugh. “okay, then,” he says. “i’m taking a shower before we have to go down for dinner. give me a hand?” he says, softly to jk. something warm and hopeful in his eyes.

jk swallows.

he looks at nj and binna. nj just nods at them to go while he continues telling binna about the value of art.

jm leads him into the bathroom and they quietly undress each other, jm almost trips a few times which betrays how drunk he actually is.

“i’m fine,” he says softly.

as if he could read jk’s mind. jk doesn’t answer, just pulls jm into the shower with him. they kiss and wash up, tenderly, reverently under the shower stream.

and when jm starts crying, it scares jk, he doesn’t ask, just holds him until he stops shaking.

binna doesn’t win the contest. but by then, nj has managed to convince her that the contest is pointless. so nj just takes binna’s drawing, to frame it, he says, and promises binna that they’ll get an even bigger whale for her.
the next day they wake up together, and it’s so lovely. jk’s heart is so full. they cuddle and snuggle, until binna insists on everyone getting up because they need to get on the boat.

so they do. it’s not a big boat, but it’s the best guy for whale watching,

everyone keeps telling them.

and sure enough, as soon as they are in open water, they see them. just a fin, here and there at first.

then they get close enough and that’s a whole humpback whale in front of them.

“it’s two of them,” jm breathes. he’s recording with his phone.

nj is holding binna by the railing, binna is yelping and waving her arms like crazy and nj is laughing. jk thinks he might be crying a little, he notices when nj turns his head to kiss binna’s hair.

jk laughs, awed at all of it.

at how much love he does have inside him, how it threatens to spill all over. all over the boat, the ocean. he’s crying too.

“nj, binna-yah,” jm calls,

“turn around, i’ll take a picture of you.”

they turn around, matching dimpled smiles. jm grins and snaps the photo. snaps a few of them. jk laughs, wipes the tear away.

nj then sits on the floor of the boat with binna on his lap,

comfortably hugging the arm that nj is using to keep her safely close to him as they watch the whales.

jm puts his phone away and turns to jk. he wipes the tears of his cheeks and smiles, his eyes squinting, creasing so prettily. jk loves him so much. “oh, jk-ah,” he says.

jm wraps his arms around him and jk does it too, holding on tightly. and he can’t help it. he feels it so intensely.

“i love you,” he breathes into jm’s ear. “i love you so much.”

jm goes still under jk’s touch. he looks up, his smile falters.

“oh,” he says, as if he’s surprised. how can he?

he lets go of jk altogether and steps away. jk freezes, waits. doesn’t understand.

“um, y-you don’t have to say anything?” jk says quickly, feeling like an idiot all of the sudden.

jm tries to smile. “oh. no, it’s ah, um.”

jk still waits.

“we’re missing the whales,” he finally says. and without another word walks over to where nj is sitting and sits next to him.

jk doesn’t move for a long moment. unsure of what the hell just happened.

“appa!” binna calls. that snaps him out of it.

he does his best to smile and joins them on the floor.

when he can sneak a glance at jm, jm is just staring blankly ahead.

and okay, jk thinks, a little frantic. it’s— it’s all. it’s.

well, shit.


“stop fidgeting with your collar,” nj says. “do you want to go back and change? we still have time—”

“no,” jk cuts off. “it’s fine. we’re doing this right.”

nj gives him a look. “i mean, we’re already in,” he says.

“this is just a meeting to touch bases, see if binna likes the school. you didn’t have to dress up or cover your neck.”

“i’m an unmated omega,” jk whispers, just loud enough for nj to hear him over the rumble of the train.

“you don’t know the kind of looks we get. and what do you mean we’re already in?”

nj huffs. “i mean i got us in. and no one covers their neck anymore, it’s primitive,” he says. “people who still expect you to do it are not worth your time.

i promise you people at this school won’t care. my friend’s kid goes there. she’s an omega and her partner is an omega too. they’ve never had any problems.”

that makes jk look up. “how old is their kid?”

nj blinks at him. “i actually have no idea,” he says, sheepishly. “i’ll ask. maybe he can be friends with binna.”

jk nods. “she doesn’t have many friends her own age,” he says looking down at her.

she’s sitting next to him, enthralled by the puzzle game she’s playing.

“i know,” nj says. “it was hard for me at her age too. she’ll be fine, though. i’m sure she’ll make friends here.”

jk nods, biting his lip.

“this is our stop,” nj says and gets up. “let’s go, binna-yah.”

binna doesn’t look up from the screen just gets on her feet and lets jk hook a hand around her arm to drag her along and out of the subway car.

“shouldn’t, ah, jimin be here?” jk asks as they’re walking across the platform.

nj gives him a sad little smile. “they’re not that liberal, jk-ah,” he says. and then, a little more comforting, “we’ll work up to it, okay?”

jk nods. “i-i’m worried about him.”

nj nods, not looking up from the ground. “me too,” he says quietly.

they just got back from japan four days ago. they haven’t had much time to talk, or so they’ve ensured, because they’ve definitely found time for sex. really unsatisfactory sex, mind you.

the way it feels when there’s so much uncertainty hanging above you and your partner. partners.

and apparently jm’s approaching heat because he was overly sensitive and had to ask nj to stop twice the last time they fucked. it was awkward. it’s all really awkward.

nj stops right outside the subway entrance and turns to jk.

“he’ll talk when he’s ready,” he says. “the worst thing we can do is pressure him.”

jk swallows and nods. “it’s just, ah.”

he considers telling nj about how jm has virtually avoided being alone with him since they were on that stupid boat.

but he doesn’t want to make a big deal out of things when they might very well not be. he sighs. “nothing. yeah, okay.”

nj hesitates a second, then nods. “it’ll be okay,” he says, then leans in to kiss jk.

at the very last second he thinks better of it and kisses his cheek instead. when he pulls back, he looks down nervously at binna. jk looks too.

binna is staring at them, an unimpressed look on her face. “ew,” she says, then turns back to her game.

jk huffs out a laugh. nj smiles.

at the school they are greeted by a young beta woman who introduces herself as the guidance counselor.

she smiles brightly at them and is exceedingly sweet towards binna. jk breathes a little easier.

she takes them up to the principal’s office where they are greeted by an older omega woman. she seems a little more stern but she’s polite and also sweet to binna.
“can one of out teacher’s assistants show binna around while we talk?” the principal asks.

jk nods. “ah, sure.”

“come with me, binna,” the counselor chirps and holds out her hand. binna looks up at jk and nj, a little hesitantly.

“it’ll be just a moment, sweetheart,” jk hurries to say. “we’ll catch up to you, okay?”

binna pouts and nods before taking the woman’s hand.

“is she shy?” the principal asks, gesturing for jk and nj to sit down.

jk nods. “a little around people she’s not close to. and she has a hard time making friends so she’s nervous about the whole thing.

we moved here less than a year ago and it’s already her second school, so.”

the principal nods understandingly. “i see. and why are you changing schools so late in the term?” she asks bluntly.

jk darts a glance at nj. nj nods. “ah, well, i wasn’t comfortable with her teacher.

or the school administration in general at the previous school,” jk says. “see, i, ah.” he clears his throat. “i raised her on my own. i’m not mated,” he says. “the school looked down on that and it was starting to impact binna and her education.”
the principal doesn’t react much just nods. “i see. i am very sorry you went through that jk-ssi,” she looks at nj. “and nj-ssi, you are jk-ssi’s partner?”

nj nods. “and i’m binna’s father.”

“and you’re not mated? married?”

jk shifts uncomfortably. “no,” he says. “if that’s a problem—”

“oh no,” she says quickly. “of course not. i just wanted to get some understanding,” she smiles. “sorry for the line of questioning, it wasn’t polite. we have all types of families here, though. we don’t judge.”

jk sits back in his chair. “okay,” he says.

“it’s just really, ah. it’s not a conventional situation and i don’t want her to feel different or left out because of it.”

she smiles again. “we have a lot of unmated couples. single omegas too,” she says. “i myself raised my two kids all on my own. there’s nothing to worry about.”

jk glances at nj. “um,” he says.

nj clears his throat. “binna doesn’t—”

he’s interrupted when the guidance counselor comes back into the room.

“sorry,” she says with a smile. nj shakes his head and gestures at her to sit down on the chair next to the desk.

“thanks,” she says.

“binna is in good hands, by the way. she’s really sweet.”

jk smiles. “thank you. she is, she’s just shy.”

“what were you saying, nj-ssi?” the principal asks.

nj nods. “just that binna doesnt really know i’m her father yet. and we are just transitioning into moving in together.

it’s a lot of changes and we expect it to be a little rough on her, we don’t want her to have a tough time at school on top of that.”

there’s a pause after that. the two women looking between jk and nj, examining.

“of course,” the counselor says.

“anything we can do to make that transition smoother we’ll do it,” she says, then looks at the principal “i’ll talk to her teacher.”

the principal nods. “thank you, yes,” she says. “if there’s anything in particular we can do to help, don’t hesitate to let us know.”

the counselor nods. “if you wanted me to have some chats with her, i’d be happy to. i’ve had a few sessions with kids whose parents’ divorced and remarried. it can be confusing for the kid, but it shouldn’t have to be scary or bad.”
“no ones getting divorced or remarried,” jk says with frown.

“oh, sorry,” she says. “i just assumed. mated?”

“no,” jk says.

“let’s not assume anymore,” the principal tells the counselor, very pointedly. the counselor gives her a sheepish smile.

the principal pulls to her feet. “do you want to see the school as well?”

nj and jk nod and stand up.

around half an hour later they leave, satisfied with what they’ve seen. binna even seems excited to start.

the principal bows to them as they leave, maybe a little to intensely when she bows at nj. jk frowns.

“what was that about?”

“nothing, c’mon,” nj says.

they meet jm for lunch.

“how’d it go?” he asks as they’re all sitting down.

“it was pretty good,” nj says. jm smiles.

“good,” he says. “did you like it, binna?”

binna shrugs. “it was okay. they have a veggie garden so we can water it and take the veggies home when they grow.”

jm smiles wider. “that is so cool,” he says. “will you bring me some?”

she pulls a face. “you don’t like veggies,” she says. “you’re always pushing them into my plate.”

jm laughs.

“well maybe i can learn to like them. i do wanna be healthier,” he says, sitting back on his chair.”

they go back to their house because nj wants to play ocean documentaries for binna, but she’s asleep within the first ten minutes.

“she’s just really tired,” jk says when he catches nj pouting.

“that makes sense, it was a long day,” nj says, getting a blanket and pulling it over binna on the couch. he watches her sleep for a few minutes. it makes jk’s chest feel very tight.

“do you want to see her room in person?” nj suddenly asks jk.

jk wets his lip and nods. something stinging when he notices jm doesn’t once look up from his phone.

he tries to ignore it.

nj takes him upstairs and shows him into the room. jk has seen it in videos and pictures,

but it isn’t any less emotional.

he runs his fingers through the bedspread, the stuffed animals, the shelves.

nj is giving him a bookshelf tour when jm walks quietly into the room, sitting on the bed.

jk looks at him, jm looks back, offers him a little smile.

“oh, you’re here,” nj says, looking up from the book he was showing jk.

jm raises an eyebrow. “yes, i actually live here,” he says. “i actually did most of the work for this room.”

“i wasn’t trying to be mean, jm,” nj says.

jm runs a hand through his hair. “right. so when are we showing binna?”

“i- i think it should wait, actually,” jk says, quickly. both jm and nj stare tat him.

“what? i thought this is what you wanted.”

“it was,” jk says. “it is,” he corrects himself “it’s just, ah.”

he stops himself, doesn’t know how to finish the sentence. he glances at jm. jm is looking down at the bedspread, running a finger through the pattern, much like jk just did a moment ago.

the image makes a shiver run down jk’s spine for some reason.

“are you gonna tell me what is going on with you two?” nj asks.

they both turn to him. “what? nothing,” jk tries to say.

nj frowns. “okay,” he says.

“listen, i know we just talked about this, accepted that there will be things that you two will share that i won’t but i don’t like standing completely in the dark and right now it feels like i am.”

jk doesn’t say anything, looks at jm again.

he’s no longer playing with the beadspread, his hands are neatly folded on his lap, now, but he’s still not looking up.

nj sighs. “i didn’t want to say anything. the last thing i want to do is pressure you, but, ah. i saw the pregnancy tests.”

(cw // talk about infertility / difficulty getting pregnant / fertility treatments)
that makes jm look up. jk’s eyes go wide.

“i don’t know whose they were and as far as i could tell they were negative, b-but you have been weird since then.”

“i have been weird or we have been weird?” jm asks.

nj gapes. “um. i-i don’t— i guess you?”

jk looks at jm, some things slotting into place. “jm, are you pregnant?”

jk notices how jm closes his fists still on his lap. “/no/, you were there with me when i took all those tests,” he hisses.

“okay, sorry, i just thought— ah, maybe a false negative—”

jm snorts. “there’s no such thing as five false negatives, jk. i’m not pregnant.”

“i didn’t think you were,” nj mutters. “i’d be able to smell it on you by now.”

jm looks down at that.

“jm? what is going on?”

jm closes his eyes and sighs.

“i wasn’t… feeling well a few weeks ago. so i went for a checkup and the doctor told me to do a pregnancy test,” he says, his words careful and quiet. “they were negative, obviously.
but i- i didn’t really feel better and it was getting to the point where i would sometimes wake in the middle of the night writhing in pain and—”

“when was this?” nj asks. his hands are shaking.

“it started a few weeks ago, i—”

“why didn’t you say something? i would’ve taken you—”

“you were sleeping. i didn’t want to wake you or worry you—”


“why didn’t you tell me?” jk asks quietly.

“because i didn’t want you to know,” jm snaps, then releases a single breath. “i don’t want to have this conversation here,” he says and gets up from the bed, walks out of the room.
nj still trembling follows him out immediately. jk feels paralyzed, feels a heavy and uncomfortable sense of guilt settle on his stomach. he stands there for a whole minute, then finally walks out, follows nj and jm’s voices down the hall and into their bedroom.
“don’t look at me like that, nj,” jm is saying.

“like what?” nj is asking, helplessly.

“like i’m broken or something, like you want to fix it!”

“jm, i don’t think you’re broken,” nj says gently, stepping closer to jm. jm steps away,

he looks up when he notices jk standing at the doorway. “not you too,” jm pleads.

jk swallows. “we’re just sad because you’re sad, jm, it’s not—”

jm huffs out a little humorless laugh. “it /is/ fucking annoying when you use the plural like that.

i’m so sorry i ever did it to you.”

nj sighs. “okay, why don’t we all take a deep breath and sit down and—”

“i don’t want to sit down,” jm hisses. “i’ve been sitting all day waiting for you two.”

“now you’re just being difficult for no reason,” nj says with a frown.

“i don’t even get this. i thought you didn’t want to have kids in—”

“that is now what i said! why are you always twisting my words?” jm shouts. “and whatever the fucking case, i would like to have a choice in it!”

“then follow the treatment! i haven’t seen you take those pills

once since you got them, i didn’t even know what they were for so i didn’t mention it but—”

“don’t fucking tell me how to follow my treatment, nj,” jm grits. “i have it under control.”

nj nods. “like you have the drinking under control?”

jm doesn’t even flinch. just stares daggers into nj. “you’re an asshole. i can’t fucking stand you, i fucking—”

“okay,” jk says, when he sees nj opening his mouth. “let’s not say shit we’ll regret. i think jm feels a little under attack right now and—”

“stop talking about how i feel!” jm shouts, tears trailing down. “stop talking about me. i wanted to tell you about this on own my own terms and you just had to know right now. you just had to do it the worse way possible.”
“jm, i’m sorry,” nj says, closing his eyes. “i didn’t mean to do it this way. i was just worried sick and nearly losing my mind because you don’t talk to me.”

“i was going to! if you’d just waited, like i asked you to!”

“would you have waited?” nj asks.

“or would’ve you driven me mad until i told you? tell me you wouldn’t have.”

jm doesn’t say anything to that. no one says anything for a long moment.

“i don’t get it,” jk says, finally.

“you were all so ready to move us in and now you’re shouting at each other over this? we should be talking it over like adults. i don’t want to do it this way.”

nj steps closer to him, shaking his head. “no, baby, we’re just upset. i’m upset and jm is really upset, it’s—”

“i told you to stop talking for me,” jm says quietly. “you don’t know the half of it. it’s no difference to you,” he tells nj. “or you,” he tells jk. “you have binna already. i-i’m not young anymore. i should be married by now, considering pups, n-not this.”
that stings. jk steps back, already planing to flee, but then nj is speaking.

“i know, darling,” he says. “but we can still do it. i-i wanted to bring it up after today, just not like this, but, ah,” he looks at jk.

“what?” jk asks.


the room goes very quiet.

“are you fucking with me right now?” jm finally says.

“no! i think—”

“you want to mate us? bite us? how fucking— i can’t believe you. all that time talking about how primitive it is or whatever crap and now you want it? you want to /claim/ us?”

“marriage is no different! it’s still archaic binding bullshit but it’s what you want so i’m saying we can do it.”

“marriage is a legal document that you can get out of, nj! it is fucking different! are you hearing yourself?”

“well, i can’t legally marry the two of you! are you—”

“he doesn’t want you to marry me, nj.”

jm sighs. “jk-ah, c’mon. that’s not— okay. i worded all of it the wrong way, okay? no one has to marry anyone.”

“but you want to,” jk says.

“no, it’s what everyone expects of me,” jm says stubbornly.

“no, you want it too. you want to marry him and have his pups and we’re just getting in the way,” jk says, tears flooding his eyes.

“jk, don’t say that,” jm says, trying to take jk’s hand in his. jk snatches it away.

“you’re not in anyone’s way, baby,” nj says. “we want you. we’ve build a nest together, we want you and we want, binna.”

jk sniffles, wipes some of the tears. “do you?” jk asks jm.

“yes!” jm says quickly, eyes darting a little wildly.

“do you really?” jk asks again.

“because it looks like you keep changing your mind. it looks like you /want/ to be jealous. it looks like you just love him and you are accommodating for him.”

“jk-ah,” jm pleads. “that is not—”

“i love you, jm,” jk says.

“i’ve been in love with you since the first time we met.” he’s looking at jm, tears still streaming, and he feels like he’s begging, his body aching to submit, get on his knees for this other omega whom he loves.
jm holds his gaze for a long moment and jk thinks perhaps this is it. they all love each other so they can be happy. because that’s all they need, isn’t it? everything else will follow, everything else they can fix.
but finally, jm just averts his eyes. “love is not the only thing, jk-ah.”

jk feel as if he’s been slapped.

he swallows, nods. “well, it is to me. so i guess, that’s it,” he says and turns around to leave.

“no!” nj calls immediately, following him down the stairs. “jk, sweetheart, just give him time, he’s not good at this. do you have any idea how long it took him to say it to me? it didn’t mean he didn’t feel it—”

“stop talking for him,” jk grits, not looking back.

nj catches up to him just before jk can walk into the living room to get binna.

“jk, we’re all upset, we’re all saying things we don’t mean, we—”

“i didn’t say a single thing i didn’t mean, nj,” he says. “and i don’t think he did either. if both of you don’t really want us here, then we’ll go, we won’t impose any more.”

“binna is still my daughter. she’s still my daughter, jk.”

“and i won’t keep her from you. i’m not running away, hyung,” he says. “this just clearly isn’t working.”

they stand there for a minute, looking at each other. jk looks up, up the stairs, seeing if maybe jm will come down. but he doesn’t. nj sighs. he looks disappointed too.

jk swallows and picks binna up from the couch, carefully. she stirs, but goes back to sleep immediately, nuzzling jk’s neck.

“i love you,” nj says quietly, following him to door.

jk sighs. “i know you do. i love you too,” he says. “i just need to go right now.”

nj nods, looking miserable and jk feels bad a little, but there is no other way. no way this will work if they don’t all want each other. jk feels like an idiot for even letting it come this far.

so he walks away, his daughter in his arms, to find the nearest subway stop.


binna starts her new school next monday. it is way off route for jk, and he’s already freaking out about how the hell would he give up his lease to find something closer, how could he even afford it in that neighborhood.

but nj simply tells him he can pick her up. so that’s that.

“if i can’t make it one day, i’ll just send jun, he’s my driver for events. he’s cool,” nj tells him when he drops binna off at jk’s office building later.

jk sighs, not in the mood to argue. “okay, fine,” he says.

“let me go upstairs and drop binna off at my office and then we can, ah, talk?”

nj nods. he doesn’t look too thrilled about it. they’ve avoided communication for the last few days, they all agreed it was best to cool off first. or jk and nj agreed.

(cw// smoking)

jm just stopped communication altogether.

when jk comes back down, he finds nj outside, smoking.

nj offers him the cigarette. jk sighs and takes it.

they pass it back and forth for a few minutes.

then, “jm left.”

jk freezes, cigarette halfway up to his lips. “what?”

nj nods. “this morning. he packed a bag and left. he said he needed to think.”

“where did he go?”

“to his parents’ i believe.”

“and you just let him go?”

nj gives him a look. “you really think i had any hope trying to stop him?”

jk looks down. he feels unmoored. like none of this is real. he thinks about pinching himself or something.

he’s afraid he will just burst into tears, because this it. this is how it all goes to shit.

“he loves you,” nj says. jk still doesn’t look at him.

“he just doesn’t think love is enough for a relationship to work, but he was willing to put in the work, jk. i know he has to tell you that himself, but i thought i’d just say it. try to salvage this somehow.”
“i don’t think you can,” jk says. his throat feels tight. “there’s no working around it, nj. he thinks love is not enough? well, i think that’s the only thing we can’t do without. i can put in the work towards anything as long as i know that there’s love.”

“but there is.”

jk shakes his head. “i don’t know. i don’t think so,” he says. “i mean, i know he must feel something. but whatever it is, it’s not enough. i think he just ever did it to keep you.”

“don’t say that.”

jk shrugs. “it’s just the way it’s looking to me,” he says. “he’s not even here, nj. he /left/.”

nj huffs. “he’s just got so much going on,” he says.

“i read up on the fertility treatment and it’s insane, jk. his body is just going through so much and the drinking obviously doesn’t help, but he’s drinking to cope with it, it’s all just a fucked up circle. i think it will do him good to be away with his parents for a bit.”
jk nods. “i really hope it does. and i hope you can have a healthy marriage with lots of healthy pups, hyung, i really, really do.”

nj’s face falls. “jk-ah—”

“binna will love to have siblings and she will love her room,” he says. “maybe you can have her on weekends.”

“jk, please,” nj says.

“or one weekend with you, one with me, and you can have her some weeknights too,” jk continues. “i think i will tell her today. that you’re her father.”

that silences nj. “oh. d-do you want me to—”

jk shakes his head. “i got it. it’ll be fine,” he says.

“i’ll discuss it with her and maybe she can stay with you starting this weekend. just, y’know, don’t want your mother near her.”

“of course,” nj says, defeated.

“i know she got us in the school,” jk says, quietly. “you should’ve just told me.”

nj sighs. “you would’ve never agreed to it.”

jk nods. “you’re right. but i like the school so we’ll leave it at that. don’t fucking do it again.”

nj nods. “i won’t.”

jk takes a good look at him. how miserable he does look. how much jk loves him, how much it hurts to let go,

but jk can do it now. he will.

“i hope—” his voice breaks. he swallows around the knot in his throat. “i hope you get what you want from her, i really do,” he says kindly.

nj snorts. “i won’t. i just did it for binna.”

jk smiles. “thank you for that, and still. i hope you’re able to heal what she’s done.”

nj eyes him, so sad. “it sounds like you’re saying goodbye.”

jk laughs a little, wobbly and wet. “i’m not,” he says, rubbing a hand on nj’s arm.

“you’re just breaking up with me.”

the smile fades from his face, his hand stills on nj’s arm. “i’m sorry,” he says quietly.

nj nods. his eyes are very clear as if he’s holding back tears.

jk drops his head forward, letting his forehead rest against nj’s arm. “i’m sorry,” he says again.

“we’ll win you back,” nj says, very quietly into jk’s hair.

jk smiles, doesn’t look up. he’s tearing up too.

“you didn’t lose me, nj,” he says, then pushes up on his toes to press a kiss on nj’s jaw. it’s wet with tears. “i have to go watch binna.”

he pulls away and nj nods. “will you pick her up tomorrow?”

nj nods, wiping his tears.

“thanks,” jk says sniffling.

“i’ll text you later about how it goes with binna and about this weekend. keep me posted on jm.”

nj nods again. jk looks at him for another moment, then he has to turn around because of how much it hurts.

back upstairs, jk has to spend a minute wiping his eyes and his nose so when he walks in binna won’t notice he was crying. but she does anyway.

“appa,” she says. “what’s wrong?”

jk tries to smile. “nothing, baby,” he says. “i just got emotional over something, c’mere.” he says,

sitting on the couch and gesturing her over. she climbs up his lap and he wraps his arms around her.

she’s started this very non-affectionate phase where she doesn’t like when jk kisses her or hugs her too much, but right now she grabs jk’s face in her hands and kisses it.

he smiles. “thank you, baby.”

she smiles back.

he clears his throat. “i wanted to, ah, tell you something.”


jk bites his lip. “um, remember when you asked about who put a pup in my belly?”

“me pup?”

“yes, you pup.”

she nods.

“okay, well. i just wanted to tell you, ah, who it was.”

she gives him a funny look. “nj?”

he gapes. “what.”

“he’s an alpha isn’t he? your alpha?”

“you knew?”

she gives him another funny look. like maybe jk is an idiot. jk laughs.

“you know what that means?”


“he’s your father too.”

she frowns. “why didn’t he live with us before?”

jk wets his lip, considering how much should he say. but binna has been smart and understanding enough. he swallows. “he didn’t know that i had you.”

“but he put me in your tummy.”

jk laughs again. “yeah, well, i guess, that was silly of him to not realize,” he says. “but he’s sorry, okay? about not living with us before. he loves you and he’ll always be with you now. he has a room in his house for you. i’ve seen it, it’s really pretty.”

“what about you?”

“i’ll always have a room in our apartment for you,” he explains, looking down. “but when you’re with him, i might not always be around.”

“but why?”

“well, it’s fair. if i we get to spend time alone, so should you and him. if you’re okay with that.”

“okay, but what about jm?”

that makes jk’s stomach twist. the tears he hasn’t let himself shed sting at the corner of his eye. he looks down at the floor. “ah, i don’t know if you’ll see much of jm, sweetheart. he had to go stay at his mom’s house for a while.”

she pouts. “why?”

“he wasn’t feeling very well. his mom needs to look after him. we’ll miss him and he’ll miss you too, but he’ll come back and he’ll feel better.”

“why can’t we live together? like in japan?”

jk hesitates. “because me and nj are not together like that, binna,” he says.

“couples live together.”


jk hesitates. “yes, and also—”

“but you said grown ups didn’t /have/ to be mated.”

jk sighs rubbing a hand over his eyes. “i know. shit,” he says. “sorry, sorry.” he sighs.

“it’s just that, ah, japan was a vacation, baby. it was like, like when we play pretend,” he says. has a stray thought of nj showing him the video of binna’s room. jm kneeling down at his feet. jm kissing him under the shower spray.

a single tear wins against him.

he feels a knot in his throat. “here we all have our own homes, and we have school and jobs. and i guess you’ll have two homes, but yeah,” he says, then winces. he’s terrible at this.

“like jungseob?”

jk blinks. then remembers. her former classmate jungseob, whose parents are divorced. a really bad divorce, by the sound of it. poor kid had it really rough. but.

“yeah, actually,” he says. “except me and nj won’t fight, i promise.”

she still doesn’t look convinced about anything.

“we’ll try it, yeah? do you want to spend the weekend at his house? see your room?”

“where would you be?”

“at home! doing laundry and cleaning the kitchen and doing all the things you never wanna help with, anyway. you can have fun with nj. if you need anything he’ll call me.”

“o-okay,” she says. “no jm?”

jk’s face falls. “no, baby. i’m sorry.”

“will he be back when ballet starts again?”

“i don’t know, but i hope so.”

she lets out a long sigh. “okay.”

jk makes himself smile and hugs her until she’s huffing and pushing him away.

back at the apartment, they take a long bath and have dinner, and binna is so tired she falls asleep almost immediately.

then, all jk has to do is send a quick /hey/ in th’s chat and th is right over.

he lets himself in, and all jk has to do is look at him, his sympathetic smile and he’s bursting into sobs.

th hugs him, lets jk cry in his arms for as long as he needs. it’s ugly and visceral and jk hates it but he can’t stop.

“i’m so proud of you,” th is whispering in his ear, once jk has ran out of tears. “none of what you did has been easy, but you’ve looked out for yourself and binna and i think that took a lot of courage.”

“it didn’t feel courageous,” jk says, voice very small.

“it just felt like running away.”

“but you didn’t,” th says. “jm ran away.”

jk sits up. “have you talked to him,” he asks then covers his face , feeling shy. he must look so ugly right now. swollen and snotty.

th gives him a long sympathetic look, then brushes the hair out of his face. “yeah. he’s really going through something, jk. i haven’t seen him like that in years. maybe it was for the best that he went home.”

“it’s my fault,” jk says.

“it’s all my fault. i disrupted his nice, perfectly idyllic life, i drove him into that,” he says, and he’s crying again. “we were so mean to him, th, i love him and i hurt him and i—”

“shh,” th hums, pulling jk down to his chest. “it’s not your fault, jk.”

“and listen to me, you know i always rooted for you guys, and i’m really sorry it didn’t work the way we wanted, but i can root for you separately too,” he says. “i can wish for jm to get better, and i can encourage you in your decision to leave the relationship, okay?
“i love you, jk-ah. i’m so proud of you,” he coos in his ear.

that only makes jk cry harder.


in the next weeks, jm fails to answer any of nj’s texts. they only know he’s okay because th says he is, but he won’t say much else.

nj is devastated.

jk feels entirely too guilty about it.

but on mutual agreement, they don’t discuss jm.

they discuss binna, sometimes ask about each other, work, jk’s parents and such. but that’s it.

they learn to be friends and co-parents, even if every fiber of jk’s being aches for nj. even if he misses jm like crazy.

binna is happy which is the most important part.

she tells everyone about her father nj, and the room she has in his house and nj goes so weak for it.

they love to brag about each other. it’s cute.

when nj’s rut hits, jk stays well away. tries not to think about nj spending his rut alone, longing for jm or him or both.

he tries not to think of jm going through his heat alone somewhere.

and weeks go by.

jk never expected it. he thought jm would take maybe a couple of weeks then come back. a part of him hoped that they could talk, that jm would come back for jk.

that after all, they could all be together.

but that never happens.

it hurts jk. it hurts nj even more.

even if they don’t bring it up, jk can see how sad, how lonely sometimes nj gets at that house.

jk lets binna sleep over at his house on those nights.

one morning, jk is picking binna up, and nj greets him at the door and his face looks puffy from sleep but also as if he spent the night crying.

jk can’t just leave it alone.

“are you okay?”

nj smiles. nods. “i-i talked to jm last night.”

jk swallows. “right. i-i didn’t know you guys were back in touch.”

“not much,” nj says, looking down. “he never answers when i call. it has to be him that calls. he doesn’t do it very often, but yeah. he asked about you.”

jk looks up at that. “why?”

nj gives him a sad look. “he just wanted to know if you’re okay.”

jk bites his lip. “please don’t talk about me with him,” he says. “i don’t want to be a part if it anymore.”

nj gives him another sad look, then finally nods. “okay. sorry.”

jk gets binna from her room, and right before he leaves, he turns to nj. “i-is he okay?”

nj doesn’t look surprised at the question. “i think so. he’s not drinking anymore he said. and, ah, he’s resting and eating well. he doesn’t really say much beyond that.”

jk doesn’t say how he thinks jm owes more than that to nj. just nods. “okay,” is all he says and then he’s gone.

jk is even roped into going on a date that a friend from work sets him up on.

it’s been two months since jm left at that point.

so jk thinks, why not?

the guy’s an omega. younger than jk, but much taller. all gangly and sometimes awkward with his body his long arms.

he’s really cute and so sweet and jk even has fun with him. even lets the guy, kiss him stupid at the front door of his building.

“you’re so hot,” s00bin says, shyly, against jk’s mouth. “i can’t believe you didn’t just turn the other way when you saw me sitting at that table.”

“why would i? you’re really cute, s00bin-ah,” he says.

s00bin gives him a look, from beneath his eyelashes. “just cute, hyung?”

and fuck, jk is so horny. he can smell, s00bin’s arousal, maybe the underlying thick, sweet scent of his slick.

it feels so good to his senses, jk wants to have a taste. he hasn’t had much experience with omega cunt before. except, well, jm.

his stomach drops at the thought.

he steps back from s00bin. it suddenly feels dishonest and unfair to the poor guy.

so jk just kisses him goodnight once on his cheek and sends him on his way.

he runs into th and sj and the pup on his way back.

“hey,” th says. “how was your date?”

“it was really fun,” jk mutters.

sj gives him an amused look. “then why do you look so miserable?”

jk sighs. “we kissed and i think he wanted to come up and it would’ve been really easy to sleep with him. it would’ve been nice, even,” he says.

“but i couldn’t stop thinking about… yeah.”

they give him mirror sad glances. jk hates it.

“anyway, i’ll just go to bed,” he tells them. “have a good night.”

and the thing is, jk has so much pent up sexual frustration, apparently.

along with the pent up /frustration/ frustration. the anger. the betrayal. the deep, unmovable sadness that threatens to eat him alive.

he’s at nj’s a few nights later, after they ordered in and had dinner in front of the tv with binna. after jk made her take a bath and go to bed.

he helps nj clean up, and then nj asks him if he wants a drink and jk shrugs. why not?

“how have you been?” nj asks him. “really?”

they’re just two drinks in but jk already feels warm enough, liquid enough. or maybe that’s just nj’s presence.

jk hums, sinking into the couch and staring at the ceiling. “fine,” he says.

“just fine?”

“well, yeah,” he says, looking up, a little annoyed. “how have /you/ been?”

nj blinks at him. “not so great, actually.”

jk sighs, sitting back. “yeah,” he agrees. “i— yeah. i know.” which is to say, jk feels the same.

“i went on a date,” he confesses after a moment.

“you did?” nj asks, and his scent gives him away so quick.

jk lifts an eyebrow.

“hey, how would you feel if i told you i went on a date?”

jk snickers. “the same i guess.”

nj hums. “so how was it?”

“i couldn’t sleep with him,” he says.

“which really is all that i wanted. to have sex. but it wouldn’t have been right. kid was really sweet.”

“is that the only reason?”

jk turns to look at him. “he was an omega. he reminded me of him,” he says quietly.

nj looks so sad about it, jk regrets having said it.

then nj looks away. he sighs. “well, i know the feeling,” nj says. “i’m so horny all the time and i want to— yeah. it’s ridiculous how much i want to get laid.”

jk gives him a look. it’s such an obvious line. but whatever. nj looks back.

jk doesn’t know whose scent spikes with arousal first, but the next thing he knows is that jk is crawling across the couch to kiss nj.

nj is groaning into it almost immediately. it’s pretty mild, at first. almost sweet.

then nj is pulling jk into his lap, and jk is horny as hell, but still something doesn’t click.

jk pulls away. “it doesn’t feel right,” he mutters. “without him.”

nj swallows. “i know.”

jk sighs and slides off nj’s lap. “he really pulled a number on me, you can tell him that, next time you talk,” he says sitting back on the couch.

“i haven’t talked to him in days,” nj says quietly.

jk gives him an unimpressed look. “you deserve better,” he says.

“you realize that, don’t you? i get he needed time to himself to figure out his stuff. but the way he ran, just left us to pick up the pieces, it really fucking sucked, nj.”

nj doesn’t look at him. his jaw goes tense. “we’re not supposed to discuss jm.”

jk huffs, nods. “right. okay. just do let him know how much he fucked with my head,” he says bitterly. “you know, i sometimes can’t even make myself come anymore. i have to go at it for hours before i can get anywhere. it’s fucking driving me insane.”
nj snorts out a surprised laugh at that. “shit,” he says. “and you won’t let me help?”

jk purses his lip, examines him. “no,” he says.

nj laughs again. “okay then, sweetheart. have fun chafing your clit raw.”

jk laughs at that, kicks nj on the hip with his socked feet.

nj grabs his foot and tickles the plant until jk almost wets himself.

later, nj walks him to the door.

“are you sure you don’t want to stay?” he asks. “just to sleep. binna’s bed is big enough.”

jk wets his bottom lip. only will meet nj’s eyes for a moment, then he’s looking down.

it was a nice night. but so much of it just reminded him to miss jm. he doesn’t want to that any more tonight. he actually was thinking of going home and have a nice cry.

maybe try to get himself off. without chafing his clit this time.

he pushes a smile. “thanks, hyung,” he says. “i should go home, though.”

nj nods, a little defeated. “okay. text me when you get there.”


nj takes them up to his father’s old lake house one weekend.

they invite hs and yg so it’s not too weird.

jk spends most of saturday trying to teach binna how to swim, while yg gets the barbecue out. while nj lounges and reads. while hs lounges.

eventually binna gets bored and she starts paddling towards the pier. which makes jk really proud. she’s such a fast learner.

he follows her out.

“dad nj,” she calls, as she heads towards nj’s lounging chair.

jk giggles. she’s taken to calling him dad nj for anything and everything.

the first time, nj tried to gently explain to her that she could just call him dad if she wanted. but she just frowned at him like he was talking nonsense.

so dad nj it is.

“yes, sweetheart?” nj asks looking up, already putting his book away, and opening his arms up for her.

she climbs on his lap. “you said we could go looking for frogs.”

nj gives her the widest smile. “absolutely.”

jk has to almost physically drag them inside later that night when the mosquitos are out and having a feast on them.

he has to bathe binna, then they sit her on the living room couch while he rubs calamine lotion on her.

hs rubs it on nj’s legs and arms.

“why didn’t they bite anyone else?” she pouts.

“because their blood isn’t as sweet, binna-yah,” nj says. hs bursts into laughter.

jk rolls his eyes. “it’s because everyone else listened when i said it was time to go inside,” jk says.

she pouts.

nj grins madly at binna. “we identified four types of frog,” he tells her. “we still win.”

she smiles, looking very proud at the accomplishment. jk rolls his eyes again, but he’s smiling.

binna falls asleep not long after that.

jk tosses and turns on the bed besides her, then finally decides to get up when it’s clear that he won’t get any sleep.

he drifts downstairs, moves through the house like a ghost. doesn’t even know what he’s looking for.


jk jumps like a cat. “nj?! what the fuck?”

nj is right there in the living room, just sitting in the dark.

nj chuckles. “sorry.”

“what are you doing here?”

“i couldn’t sleep.”

“so you just came here to sit and stare into nothing?”

nj shrugs. he can barely make out the shape of him under the moonlight filtering in. “it’s quiet. good to think.”

jk hums. “what are you thinking about?” he asks quietly, as he plops down on the other armchair.

“just how much i liked coming here with my dad during the summer,” he says. “it’s the only happy memory i have of my childhood. i loved just sitting at the porch in my swim trunks, reading until my skin charred from the sun.”
jk hums. he’s heard that story about a million times. ”you can bring binna,” he says softly. “for the summer. she can grow up having those memories too.”

jk makes out the shape of nj’s dimpled smile in the dark. “i would really love that,” he says.

jk nods. lets the silence drag on for a bit, then,

“do you know what i thought about when i first met you?” nj asks.

jk is taken aback at that. he looks at nj. or in the general direction of him. “what?”

“that you felt just like those summers. the way you smelled, the way you looked at me.”

jk blushes for some reason. “hyung, i hadn’t even presented when you met me.”

i know,” nj says. “but i had. and i could smell it on you. i knew that— that somehow we were made for each other. i didn’t care at that point if you presented as an alpha or an omega. i knew that i had to have the boy that smelled of sunlight in the summer.”
there’s silence after that, then, “hyung, that’s so cheesy.”

nj bursts into laughter. “yeah? then why are you crying?”

“i’m not,” jk says, but he is. he has to wipe a tear.

they sit in silence after that again. jk can’t keep the tears at bay, he feels so stupid.

he can’t stop thinking of the first time he met nj.

of course, jk already knew him. watched him from afar. loved him. it was all a fantasy to jk,

until his school decided to do some tutoring program with alumni and jk bent every rule, maneuvered everything in his power, to get nj as his assigned tutor. not fate at all. a scheme.

it didn’t matter in the end, because nj loved him back. the love was real.

and he can’t stop thinking of jm.

jm matching his own childhood summer memories to jk’s scent. the way jm told him about it with no qualms. what happened to that? he can’s stop wondering. he can’t stop wishing he was here.

“i miss him too,” nj says.

jk sniffles, looks up at him.

“sorry,” nj mutters. “you just feel warmer than usual when you think of him. wether you’re angry or not.”

jk swallows. doesn’t say anything, just wraps his arms around himself. they sit in silence, there in the dark.

“can i ask you something?” nj asks after what feels like hours, urgent all of the sudden.

jk blinks at him. “o-okay.”

“are you falling out of love with me?” he asks. “it’d be okay, if you were but i would like to know because my love for you hasn’t gone anywhere.

it hasn’t gone anywhere a day since i met you, and if nothing is ever gonna happen between us again, i would like to know. so i can try to move on.”

jk feels as if he’s been struck. he doesn’t have a single intelligent thought in his head. he opens his mouth, closes it.

“i haven’t thought about it that way,” jk finally says, a low whisper. “i’ve been doing my best t-to compartmentalize, hyung. i’ve never been great at that. my feelings swallow me whole sometimes.
so i-i haven’t been letting them, which is to say, i don’t know. i don’t know if i could ever fall out of love with you. o-or with anyone.”

nj sits up straighter in his armchair. “he’ll come back. i know he will.”

jk nods. “and i think it’s great that you’re holding on to that, hyung, really. i hope he does and i hope you two get what you want. but i can’t sit and wait for him,” he says. “i can’t sit and wait for him to feel about me the way i do for him.”
nj sits back on the chair. he sighs. “sorry,” he says. “sorry i brought it up.”

jk shakes his head. “it’s fine. we’re doing fine, being friends, binna’s parents. let’s keep doing fine.”

nj hums. “yeah.”

that’s the last time either of them bring jm up.

it’s the middle of july and jk is out with th and the pup.

it’s hot out but after a long winter and cold spring, jk is grateful for it. he closes his eyes and basks in it.

the pup, at almost eleven months old, is starting to take his first steps and jk giggles when he opens his eyes and watches th fret over him while the baby waddles on the patch of grass next to the table where they’re sitting at.
“he’s doing so well, hyung,” jk says smiling around the straw of his iced coffee.

th clicks his tongue. “how do you stop imagining him falling over and cracking his head open?” he asks, then quickly stands up to catch the pup when he stumbles and almost falls on his butt.

jk hums. “you never stop, i think,” he says. “with binna i’m always fearing the worst, y’know. you just learn to control it, teach them to be brave, i guess.”

th sits back once the pup stays sitting and begins playing with the stuffed bear he brought.

th gives jk a long look. “sometimes i can’t believe you’re younger than me,” he says.

jk breathes out a laugh. “it’s just that i had binna when i was really young,” he says. “but you’re doing great, hyung.”

th smiles, fiddles with the lid on his coffee cup. “thanks,” he says.

“when are you meeting nj and binna?”

jk checks the time on his phone. “in around an hour.”

the baby gets whiny then, so th picks him up and sits him on his lap instead, offers him a pacifier. “how are things going? with nj?”

jk leans back on his chair. “do you mean like with binna? or between the two of us?”

th purses his lip. “both.”

jk takes a deep breath. “binna and him are great,” he starts. “they really understand each other in a way i can’t.

it’s like she gets to be the best version of her little self because she has both of us to build up all these different sides of her. i love seeing it, being a part of it. i try not to think about it but i feel terrible at keeping them apart for so long,” he says.
th shakes his head, slides his hand to cover jk’s. “you’re together now, it’s what matters.”

jk smiles. “yeah. not thanks to me and not thanks to him, though. i also keep thinking about that.”

th squeezes his hand at that. “you’ve made the best out of things, jk-ah.”

jk nods. “i hope so.”

“what about you and nj?”

jk bites his lip. “um, good. we’re friends.”

th quirks an eyebrow.

jk huffs out a laugh. “i mean it. we’ve been mature about it,” he says.

“considering everything we’ve been through it feels like a miracle we can look each other in the eye and joke around and take binna out for lunch just like that.”

“but you still love him?”

jk looks down, he shrugs. “yeah, but it doesn’t get in the way.”

“oh, jk-ah.”

jk laughs. “hyung, it’s okay. binna is our priority.”

“okay, okay,” th says. “you look happy, so i’m happy.”

jk smiles.

jk comes along with th as he goes shopping for the pup after that.

“they grow out of clothes so fast, it’s ridiculous,” th says, picking out a onesie.

jk hums in agreement. he’s bouncing the pup in his arms, seeing if he can get him to sleep.

“at least you only have to buy all this once, though, right? we’ll just pass it along to the next one.”

“next one?” jk asks, mouth going round.

th blushes. “yeah, ah. we’ve been talking about it,” he says. “maybe trying it a little.”

jk grins. “yeah? that sounds fun.”

it only makes th blush harder. “yeah, anyway. my mom think it’s soon but i want them to be close in age, y’know?

we hope it’s a girl. i was talking to jm the— ah.”

jk freezes.

“sorry,” th says quickly.

jk swallows. “no, uh. it’s fine. y-you can talk about him.”

jk knows th keeps in touch with jm. and to some extent, he knows nj does too. jk doesn’t know any details. he never asks.

“do you want me to talk about him?” th asks. and jk just stares. it’s not a fair question.

th smiles a little. “okay, how about this — you can ask.”

jk looks down, at the baby that has finally settled to drool on his shoulder. he rubs his back a little.

“is he okay?” he asks quietly.

“yeah,” th says. “he is in a much better place, like, mentally. he’s healthy.”

“is he still at his parents’?


there’s a pause after that. th just continues looking at baby clothes, lets jk drag the silence out for as long as he needs.

jk has done so well at keeping the jm thoughts at bay.

only pulls them out late at night sometimes, when he’s alone. lonely. and he misses the vanilla scent so much he doesn’t care about the pain caused.

he hates asking now. but he is curious. and better ask th than nj.

“is he ever coming back?” he hears himself ask.

th’s hand goes still over the little dress he was examining. he doesn’t answer jk’s question. “would you let him?”

jk wets his bottom lip. “he wouldn’t be coming back to me, so. it’s not my decision.”

th gives him a long sad look. jk has to look away.


jk meets up with nj later outside some theater he took binna to.

they went all dressed up and jk just has to take like a million photos of them. binna in her emerald green dress and nj in his tie and button down. it’s really cute.

nj has his driver pick them up and take them back to nj’s.

they put binna to bed. it takes hours, because she keeps wanting to pick a different bedtime story, but she’s on school break so it’s okay.

when she’s finally down, they make their way downstairs.

“how’s th-ie? the pup?” nj asks, loosening his tie and undoing the first button on his shirt. jk follows the movement with his eyes. nj quirks an eyebrow.

jk wets his bottom lip and smiles, looking away. “they’re good,” he says, dropping on the couch. “they say hi.”

nj hums. “hi back,” he says, sitting on the other end of the couch. “do you know who we ran into?”

jk cocks his head, inquiring.

nj smiles. “binna’s classmate and her parents. you know, the really annoying ones who keep making everything into a competition?”

jk clicks his tongue. “you mean the ones we /beat/ at spelling bee?”

nj laughs. “you’re just as bad as them,” he says.

“did we or didn’t we beat her?”

“yeah and it was pretty great,” nj says with a grin.

“you should’ve seen the look on their faces when they realized we had better seats at the theater.”

jk grins. “god. were you graceful about it?”

“the most graceful,” nj says, sitting up.

“binna even asked if we could invite them over to our section, so genuinely, so sweet. the way that woman scoffed at her i wanted to growl at her.”

“and bite her hand?”

“and bite her hand,” nj confirms. jk snickers.

“you should’ve. fuck that woman,” jk says.

“binna really is a better person than we are, huh?”

nj nods. “the best human being ever.”

jk laughs again, so endeared. “she is.”

“do you want a drink?” nj asks, making a move to get up.

jk shakes his head. “i’m good.”

nj nods and settles back onto the couch. they sit there in silence for a bit. nj drumming his fingers on his knee. jk softly bopping his head to the song that’s playing. there’s always music playing at nj’s.

it’s all so stupid, jk thinks. he breathes out a laugh.

“hyung,” he says, breaking the silence, making nj look at him. “you wanna?”

“hell yeah,” nj says as soon as the question is out.

so they scramble to their feet and walk across the living room, and across the hall to the small guest bedroom they have on the first floor.

jk doesn’t like going upstairs to the main bedroom much anymore. this does just fine.

as soon as they’re inside nj is latched onto jk’s neck, his scent gland, lapping and kissing and growling a bit. jk laughs.

nj trails kisses up his neck, to his jaw and right before he can kiss jk’s mouth, jk stops him, with a finger to his lips.

nj opens his mouth and drags his tongue against the finger. jk laughs again and removes his hand to kiss nj square on the mouth.

they don’t do this too often.

just sometimes when the mood strikes, when they’re feeling too horny or too stressed or whatever. they don’t discuss it much. just do whatever feels good.

right now it feels good to break the kiss and turn around in nj’s arms, so his back is pressed against nj’s chest. nj goes with it, presses more kisses to jk’s neck, scents him to his instincts’ desire and runs his hands across jk’s body. jk feels him get hard against his ass.
jk rolls his hips back a little.

“yeah?” nj asks. jk can feel his grin against his neck. jk nods.

they strip quickly, efficiently, then nj is pressed against his back again and jk can feel all of him bare.

“how do you want it?”

“like this,” jk mutters.


jk nods.

“okay,” nj breathes wetly behind his ear, before getting lube to open him up.

in the next minute, nj is sliding two fingers in his ass and with his right hand, he’s rubbing slow, maddening circles on jk’s clit.

jk whimpers.

“you’re so wet already,” nj says, slipping his right finger further down between jk’s folds.

jk releases a long breath. “you’re a really good dad,” he says.

nj laughs. “that turns you on?”

“you know it does,” jk says,

arching back his neck to rest his head against nj’s shoulder, lets himself be held up by strong arms while nj works both of his holes.

it’s not long before jk’s chest is heaving and nj’s cock is steadily drooling against his thigh.

“fuck me, nj,” jk breathes against nj’s jaw.

nj growls and slides his fingers out of jk’s ass, and quickly after he’s rubbing the wet tip of his cock against jk’s rim.

“ahh, please,” jk sighs. he feels so relaxed. loves this kind of sex they’ve had going, without thinking.

he feels nj nod and then he’s pushing in.

he fucks jk hard and fast with steady rolls of his hips and once he’s got a good rhythm, nj slides a hand down the front of jk’s body, tweaking his nipples then running through his stomach and down between jk’s legs.
jk moans.

nj is determined to do all the work, coax the orgasm from jk, and he’s brutal about it.

he fucks him so hard that the sound of his hips slapping agains’t jk fills the whole room, rumbles in his ears.

he bites the tip of jk’s ear before sliding his tongue up to lap at the shell of his ear and jk wants to laugh but all that comes out is a long moan and hiccuped, “please.”

and he takes jk’s clit between his two fingers and rubs it, pulls on it,

before he shoves the fingers into jk’s cunt and rubs frantic circles on his clit with his thumb.

it’s not long before jk’s knees go so weak that nj has to walk him over to the bed so jk can kneel on it, while nj, still standing at the edge of it,

continues to fuck him until jk is coming with a shout.

“so good,” nj whispers wetly in his ear. “my good jk-ie,” he says as he fucks and rubs jk through his orgasm.

“please,” jk still says, and nj drives his hips forward,

fast and hard again until he’s filling jk up with his come.

after nj pulls out, they drop down to the bed, breathing hard.

“you should’ve knotted,” jk pouts after a while.

“i would’ve hurt you,” nj says when he catches his breath.

jk pouts harder.

nj laughs and leans in to press a quick kiss to jk’s mouth. “wanna stay the night?” nj asks, as he always does when they do this. and sometimes when they don’t too.

jk shakes his head as he always does. “i have some stuff to get done for work tomorrow.”

and sits up, he hesitates. “can i at least clean you up?” he asks, dragging his eyes over jk’s body, down to his thighs. jk is a mess. his own slick splashed all over his thighs, nj’s come already slipping out of his ass.

jk covers himself with a hand. he shakes his head.

nj sighs. “you’re so weird,” he says, then leans in to kiss him one last time on the forehead, then gets up and walks into the adjacent bathroom.

jk leaves before nj comes out.


a few days later, binna’s daycare closes because of some power outage and jk has to take her into work with him.

usually it’s not a big deal. binna will sit on the carpet and color or look through a book, but today she’s restless.

she keeps trying to climb on jk’s chair with him, climb on his desk, to see what he’s doing on the computer.

“binna, baby, please,” jk pleads tiredly. “we’ll go home early, i promise but i really need to get this done before.”

she pouts and kicks the foot that she had already planted on the desk surface, which makes his coffee cup tumble and spill out.

jk jumps off his chair and tries to get the computer, the keyboard out of the way. “shit,” he says, then immediately winces.

“sorry. binna get me that paper towel.”

he scolds her and she cries and it makes it all that much worse.

he sighs and calls nj.

“jk-ah?” he asks, picking up on the first ring.

“hey,” jk says. “everything is good. just, ah. binna is not having a good day,” he says.

“she’s restless and acting up and i really need to get this done. where are you?”

“i’m at my office,” nj says. “i had some meetings lined up but i’ll cancel.”

“no! hyung, don’t,” he says. “it’s okay, i’ll call—”

“sweetheart, it’s no problem,” nj says. “i’ll be right there.”

jk sighs. “thank you.”

and true to his word, nj is at jk’s office twenty minutes later, with an iced coffee from jk’s favorite place.

“you didn’t have to,” jk mutters.

nj just kisses his cheek and then turns to binna. she runs up to him, all puffy eyed and snotty.

nj kneels down and immediately starts wiping her face with his hand as she tells him what happened.

nj hums. “i’m sorry, baby but appa is busy,” he says. “we gotta respect his work hours remember?”

her lip wobbles and then shes burying her face in nj’s chest, crying and babbling about how she just wanted to help.

nj rubs her back. “i know, baby. it’s okay. how about we go to the park down the road? leave your appa and his work alone for a bit?”

she nods, not lifting her head. so nj scoops her up in his arms.

“we’ll be at the park,” he tells jk. “take your time, we’ll meet you when you’re done.”

jk nods. “thank you, really,” he says.

nj smiles, wide and dimpled. “no problem.”

“just no more than one sweet, okay?”

nj opens his mouth to argue but then his phone is ringing in his pocket. he frowns and pulls it out with the hand that’s not holding binna. “it’s th,” he says and then he answers.


jk watches as nj listens to whatever th is saying with a confused frown.

“i’m at jk’s office,” he says. “i came to pick binna up.” th says something else. nj makes a face at jk. “yes, i was gonna be at my office all day but i had plans change, i came to pick binna up. we’re gonna go to the park across the street. why are you asking all this?”
nj’s face relaxes, then. “sure, yes, th. you can meet us there. okay, bye.”

“what?” jk asks.

nj shrugs with his free shoulder. “i don’t know. he’s bored out with the pup i guess.”

binna lifts her head at that. “we’re seeing th and the pup?”

nj nods. “yeah, baby. say bye to appa.”

she gives him a sheepish look. “bye appa, i’m sorry.”

jk leans in to kiss her face. “it’s okay, baby. i’m sorry too. have fun, okay?”

and they’re off.

jk takes another hour and a half to get his work done and as he’s heading towards the elevator and checks his phone, he frowns, thinking how weird it is that nj hasn’t texted a single update or a single photo.

/where are you?/ he texts nj.

he doesn’t get a response until he’s about to cross the street to the park.

/next to the pond/ is all it says. jk frowns but finally shrugs it off.

he makes his way across the park, walking past joggers and people taking a shortcut,

or kids coming from the ice cream shop on the other end.

when he reaches the pond, jk stops to look around. he doesn’t immediately see binna or nj or th or anyone.

he stands there for a whole minute, and he’s about to pull his phone out to call nj when he hears binna calling him and then she’s crashing against him, talking fast.
he’s very alarmed at first but the she notices she’s smiling. she’s clutching a little flower bouquet in her hand.

“binna, sweetheart, slow down,” he says.

she heaves. “it’s jm!” she shouts, excitedly. “it’s jm,” she says again and jk feels his heart sink down to his feet.

his vision blurs and his hearing goes hollow. he looks up still clutching binna by the shoulders.

the first thing he sees is nj standing still a few meters away. he’s crying. sobbing, really, his face all read and ridiculous.

he’s holding a bigger flower bouquet that matches binna’s.

and then a few feet closer to him and binna, he sees jm.

he’s got tears trailing down his cheeks too. just pouring out of him. he’s holding another flower bouquet to his chest. that one’s bigger.

he’s looking straight at jk.

binna is still talking next to him but he can’t make out a word she’s saying. jk can’t process a single thought.

he feels as if he might throw up.

after what feels like ages, jm takes a tentative step forward. jk doesn’t move.

— 💐

sigh,, i promise i’m not trying to tease 😭 this was mostly written out on monday so i thought finishing this story during my work week was doable!!! but!!!!! i keep tweaking shit and this last conversation between jm and jk is too important for me to just +

hit send without reading it over on a clear head and right now i’m exhausted!!!!!!! can’t think straight at all plus i have to be up early for work 😔 so i’ll see you tomorrow for the 100% real no fake ending to the story!!!!! i promise i have just a few tweets left!!!!!!!!!
thank u for ur patience and sorry if anyone stayed up for this 💐💐💐💐💐💐

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